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My kids aren't vaxed so I can't babysit. - Page 2

post #21 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post


OP, I'm pretty snarky, so I'd probably reply with something like, "Oh, don't worry! Your baby is 8 months old so she hasn't received anything lately. She can't transmit any of her vaccine-diseases to me or my family. But I appreciate your concern."
I like this! I'm making a mental note incase I run into someone who could benefit
post #22 of 35
Yeah, I'm sorry to say I think this is a fairly common line of thought. At our former church, we had a family tell us that they would not allow their kids to play with our DS, because he was unvaxed. They were THAT afraid.

And that if he was going to be in the church nursery, they would volunteer in there so that they could be sure that our child did not cough/sneeze/touch their child. Argh.

Sorry this happened to you. We have learned our lesson about telling our vax status unneccessarily.
post #23 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post

OP, I'm pretty snarky, so I'd probably reply with something like, "Oh, don't worry! Your baby is 8 months old so she hasn't received anything lately. She can't transmit any of her vaccine-diseases to me or my family. But I appreciate your concern."


I am so not snarky, but I would totally appreciate hearing you say that to someone!!
post #24 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post
Yeah, I'm sorry to say I think this is a fairly common line of thought. At our former church, we had a family tell us that they would not allow their kids to play with our DS, because he was unvaxed. They were THAT afraid.

And that if he was going to be in the church nursery, they would volunteer in there so that they could be sure that our child did not cough/sneeze/touch their child. Argh.

Sorry this happened to you. We have learned our lesson about telling our vax status unneccessarily.
This reminded me.....after we emailed about me not babysitting, and she clarified it was the vax issue, in the very next paragraph, she said something about not wanting to this to hurt our friendship and we should get together WITH ALL THE KIDS sometime soon.

So, what, is it like we can play for short amounts of time, but her baby can't be around my kids for too long? I understand her fears, but not her logic!
post #25 of 35
2 friends of mine with boys the same age...one vaxed and the other didn't. they went to the same in home daycare. when the vaxer found out she demaned the non-vaxer vax immediately and when she declined, the vaxer pulled her son from the daycare. some people are just irrational. sorry OP...thats crummy.
post #26 of 35
I'm pretty petty so I'd probably write her back and say, "I understand. We'll be sure to keep our distance since it makes you nervous." And then sit across the room from her at church.
post #27 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Of course most of these diseases aren't circulating like wildfire! I'm trying to explain why it makes sense to the mother of the baby not to have her infant around a bunch of unvaxed kids. If she thinks these diseases are circulating widely then of course she'd want to keep her unvaccinated infant away from the OP's kids.
Yeah I get what you're saying. I just don't really understand how they can be THAT afraid... All I can think of is when DS's former pedi wanted us to vax and he said things like "100 kids a year have died from chicken pox" and all I could think is how many kids probably die from the vax etc. and how 100 people, while certainly tragic, is only like 0.00003% of the US population, and most only get an itchy rash. It's really hard for me to understand how someone can be afraid of those odds when over 40,000 people die in car crashes each year yet most people aren't keeping their kids home & away from people who drive...
post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatherb917 View Post
Ok, maybe I'm just sensitive about this because it's really the first time I've been faced with opposition about my choice. And the logic just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not angry and I won't end our friendship. I support people's right to make the choice to vax and I don't look down on her for vaxing.
Hi, OP--I'm not posting this to enter the vaccination vs. refusing to vaccinate debate. I'm posting to maybe explain why your friend doesn't want you to watch her baby.

The one illness that is very dangerous for infants that does have outbreaks-- and from my personal observation of my unvaccinating friends,-- is pertussis. Yes this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help you understand your friend's concern. I've seen pertussis outbreaks in both of the states I've lived in, and it is very scary as a parent of an infant. 75 percent of babies under one who have pertussis are hospitalized.

So when I have an infant, I absolutely minimize contact with my un-vaccinating friends. Because it has been my experience that there is more likely to be an outbreak of pertussis with those friends.

I respect their choice to not vaccinate, but I also recognize that it is my responsibility and choice to protect my baby. Sure, it might not be based totally on reason, and statistics, but its like insurance. We don't insure our house against fire because there is a large probability that it will burn down, but rather in the off chance that it does happen. So in one sense, paying all that money for fire insurance is not rational. But we do it anyway, because the benefit *in the off chance that our house does burn down* outweighs the probability that it won't catch fire.

I think you should just try to respect your friend's choice, as it sounds like she is respecting yours.
post #29 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post
Hi, OP--I'm not posting this to enter the vaccination vs. refusing to vaccinate debate. I'm posting to maybe explain why your friend doesn't want you to watch her baby.

The one illness that is very dangerous for infants that does have outbreaks-- and from my personal observation of my unvaccinating friends,-- is pertussis. Yes this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help you understand your friend's concern. I've seen pertussis outbreaks in both of the states I've lived in, and it is very scary as a parent of an infant. 75 percent of babies under one who have pertussis are hospitalized.

So when I have an infant, I absolutely minimize contact with my un-vaccinating friends. Because it has been my experience that there is more likely to be an outbreak of pertussis with those friends.
But the pertussis vax doesn't prevent transmission. What this means is that fully-vaccinated kids can still be carriers of pertussis and you'd never even know it. I think that is MORE risky to an infant, because the vaxed kids are more likely to be asymptomatic, whereas unvaxed kids are more likely to have symptoms which would be a "red flag" to stay away from them until they're recovered.
post #30 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post

I think you should just try to respect your friend's choice, as it sounds like she is respecting yours.
Respecting my friend's choice is not an issue. Of course I respect her choice. I realize that most people are not educated about vaccines and that they trust their doctor's advice. I posted because I honestly did not realize this would be a problem, ie. Yes, I will have playdates with you, but no, you cannot watch my kid every day. That's all. I was just surprised.
post #31 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
But the pertussis vax doesn't prevent transmission. What this means is that fully-vaccinated kids can still be carriers of pertussis and you'd never even know it. I think that is MORE risky to an infant, because the vaxed kids are more likely to be asymptomatic, whereas unvaxed kids are more likely to have symptoms which would be a "red flag" to stay away from them until they're recovered.
Just a "yeah that" for this post. The pertussis vaccine isn't designed to prevent transmission or infection. Same thing goes for the injectable polio vaccine and some other ones that I can't recall off the top of my head.
post #32 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatherb917 View Post
Respecting my friend's choice is not an issue. Of course I respect her choice. I realize that most people are not educated about vaccines and that they trust their doctor's advice. I posted because I honestly did not realize this would be a problem, ie. Yes, I will have playdates with you, but no, you cannot watch my kid every day. That's all. I was just surprised.
I understood that from your first post, which is why I wrote what I did. It also makes no sense to me that she would allow your children around your kids at church or other places, but it's suddenly a bad idea when it comes down to baby-sitting.
post #33 of 35
Several posts which were either not consistent with the purpose & guidelines for this subforum or were responses to such posts have been removed & will not return. Any further issues will result in removal of the thread.

Please keep in mind that
Quote:
This forum was created to serve the needs of members who have made the decision not to vaccinate or are seriously exploring making this decision. It is not a place to denigrate or criticize those who do vaccinate.
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This is not a place for debate or discussions on the merits of vaccines or the dangers of not vaccinating, it is also not a place to argue against vaccines or selective and delayed vaccination schedules.
post #34 of 35
I don't think she knows this, so I'd tell that friend that in order to be a licensed childcare provider in California (and I think its the same in other states too), you don't need to vaccinate at all as long as you file an exemption (and that is the case with being admitted to public schools too), so her not wanting you to babysit doesn't make any sense...is she planning on avoiding daycares and schools too because there will be unvaxed kids there too.
post #35 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post
The one illness that is very dangerous for infants that does have outbreaks-- and from my personal observation of my unvaccinating friends,-- is pertussis. Yes this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help you understand your friend's concern. I've seen pertussis outbreaks in both of the states I've lived in, and it is very scary as a parent of an infant. 75 percent of babies under one who have pertussis are hospitalized.
Infants normally contract pertussis from their parents (care givers) or siblings. The person whose vax status she should be most concerned about are herself, her dh, and the OP; not the pre-schoolers that I would not think would be interacting much with an 8month old.

Quote:
Infectious adults within a family are the main source of infection for unimmunised infants.
But the point of discussion is not that the friend does not want to see the OP/her children AT ALL, but that she will only see them on playdates--as if Bordetella pertussis knows the difference between a babysitting gig and a playdate.

In any case, I wouldn't hold it against her as she is still willing to be in your presence. Someone once posted here that her twin nieces? were going to be kept from her children for 2 YEARS because they did not vax.

Fortunately, our partial/non-vaxed children were rarely ill (until ds started K) so their non-vaxed status did not scare any family away.
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