Question about young children using anatomically correct terms.

[Butterfy Baby]

My daughter is 2.5 years old. She knows that baby's grow in a mommy's belly, inside her uterus and come out of her vagina. No big deal, right? (She asks, I tell, and she repeats....).

The other night at dinner, she told my friend, "I was in mommy's belly and came out of her vagina!" My friend and I had a good laugh over that.

My other friend is shocked that my daughter knows this so early. She told me that her husband would 'flip out' if their daughter knew/said that. I told her it was no different than a child knowing that teeth are used to chew food and legs are for walking. ???

I feel proud that my daughter is correctly informed about her body and the purpose of a woman's vagina. Should I not be? "Other friend" has me doubting myself.

[4Blessings]

You're doing great!

Some people are so uptight. I'm all for making sure my kids know the correct terms for their body parts and the purpose.

[sarahn4639]

Don't doubt, basic body functions are nothing to hide! Correct terms are totally appropriate.

[ollyoxenfree]

Don't doubt yourself! You doing the right thing - how can being honest or calling something by it's proper name be wrong? There's also evidence that children who use correct anatomical language are less likely to be abused.

Cutesy names for anatomy drive me crazy. The one I dislke the most is "peter" for penis and I've heard a couple of different kids use it. What's a kid going to think when he actually meets someone named Peter?

[Drummer's Wife]

Your friend is a bit odd to flip out over body parts! Nothing weird about small children using correct terminology - even if it seems like such a big, grown up sounding word coming out of a small mouth.

[philomom]

You are awesome! My kids could do that, too.

[GreenMamma]

It's better, really, for them to know the correct names and use them appropriately. I have been told by social workers and medical professionals that small children who are taught the anatomically correct word from the beginning are much less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by GreenMamma

It's better, really, for them to know the correct names and use them appropriately. I have been told by social workers and medical professionals that small children who are taught the anatomically correct word from the beginning are much less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

[Sierra]

My SILs all seem to find it very odd and amusing and shocking that my kids know and use the proper terms. But you know, one of them went off to college thinking that all cats were females and all dogs were males...that's how repressed these kinds of conversations were in their childhood. I'm glad my kids are getting what I got: correct, accurate information and the empowerment regarding one's body that goes along with that.

[Butterfy Baby]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

No, I've heard that, too. I take it to mean that children who are taught the proper names and have open honest discussions with their parents--as opposed to keeping it quiet and shameful ("that's your hoo-ha and ding-dong that we should never speak of")--are more likely to know what's right and wrong and speak to their parents (or trusted adult) if something is wrong. That's just my take on it, though.

@Sierra--

[Mrs. Bratton]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

No, the studies don't show that knowing the correct names for genitals protects children from sexual abuse. It just shows a positive correlation between children who are misinformed and sexual abuse. My guess is that it's b/c the parents who are telling kids what their bodies are really for and telling them the correct names are also talking to their kids about good touch and bad touch, feeling uncomfortable w/ certain people/touches, etc. The parents who are offended by sex, the process of birth, the words penis and vagina, etc are probably just sweeping everything else under the rug.

[Oubliette8]

It might not protect them from sexual abuse, but if anything is wrong its far easier for them to tell if they know the correct name. I saw somewhere it explained like this- if your child hurt themselves at school or at a friends and told the adult in charge her elbow hurt, everyone would know exactly what she was talking about. If she hurt her genitals, and told them her yahoo hurt, would they know what was wrong? If she says someone hurt her with his "thing" will they know she means his penis? Even if you know what the word "thing" means for her, it will make it hard for her to communicate that to other people- doctors, therapists, social workers etc.

Beyond that, they're body parts, they have names just like any other part. We don't have cutesy names for knees, or toes, or ears. I think giving them such names only adds to their mystique as they get older and peers start whispering abut how those parts are really called a vagina, but they're not allowed to say that word. The names for genitals are not dirty words. I don't think there's any reason to shelter kids from them.

[GoBecGo]

For clarification on how knowing correct terminology helps protect kids from sexual abuse check out Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift. There are many factors. Accurate reporting is one (jury's don't know PRECISELY what you mean and are less likely to care if Mr smith touched your tuppence with his wee-wee than if mr smith pushed his penis into your vagina, sad but true), opportunity to (mis)educate is another (paedophiles see innocence as attractive because they can use it to teach the child whatever they want "mommy and daddy think you're too young and immature to know this stuff but *I* know you're special and ready to learn, but you mustn't tell them about it!"), ability to report also often puts potential predators right off (convicted paedophiles have said that a child who already knows what a penis and a vulva and an anus and a vagina is is NOT a tempting prospect, there will be no ambiguity if that child disobeys the instruction not to tell and thus the risk is far bigger). On top of all of that to teach the correct anatomical terms for ALL the body parts empowers the child to care for their own body. Being able to tell the dentist their gums hurt or the doctor their hips ache or their vulva itches is a useful skill.

My DD knows she came out of my vagina and has been telling people about it since she was about 2. Occasionally she tells some very elderly person on the bus and i wish i had an "i'm just the nanny" tee on, but mainly we get along fine with it all

[kalirush]

Yeah, we started with the correct anatomical terms when my daughter was about 3.5 and got a baby brother. For a while, she would loudly announce whether guests at our house had a vulva, or a penis and testicles.

Fortunately, we don't have anyone over who wouldn't just think it was funny.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

For clarification on how knowing correct terminology helps protect kids from sexual abuse check out Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift. There are many factors. Accurate reporting is one (jury's don't know PRECISELY what you mean and are less likely to care if Mr smith touched your tuppence with his wee-wee than if mr smith pushed his penis into your vagina, sad but true), opportunity to (mis)educate is another (paedophiles see innocence as attractive because they can use it to teach the child whatever they want "mommy and daddy think you're too young and immature to know this stuff but *I* know you're special and ready to learn, but you mustn't tell them about it!"), ability to report also often puts potential predators right off (convicted paedophiles have said that a child who already knows what a penis and a vulva and an anus and a vagina is is NOT a tempting prospect, there will be no ambiguity if that child disobeys the instruction not to tell and thus the risk is far bigger). On top of all of that to teach the correct anatomical terms for ALL the body parts empowers the child to care for their own body. Being able to tell the dentist their gums hurt or the doctor their hips ache or their vulva itches is a useful skill.

Thank you for explaining it so well. All excellent reasons for making sure children know correct terminology. Aside from avoiding the wretched gag-inducing reflex I have when I hear otherwise-intelligent adult women talking about their "vajayjays", as if they had suddenly become intellectually impaired.

[dogretro]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Cutesy names for anatomy drive me crazy. The one I dislke the most is "peter" for penis and I've heard a couple of different kids use it. What's a kid going to think when he actually meets someone named Peter?

Probably the same thing as when they meet a kid named Dick or Willy

Does your friend's kid know that poop comes out of her butt? Same difference to me! We do use a cutesy name for dd's genitals (peenie), but I also did teach her the word "vulva" the other day. We do not hide the fact that she has vulva & when she pretends to bathe herself, she will say, "Wash the arms, wash the pits, wash the legs, wash the peenie, wash the bum," etc. She can point to it and name it like anything else. It is kinda weird to me if I think about it too much, but feeling weird won't make her body parts go away!

[gcgirl]

We taught DS the real terms, but somehow he morphed "penis" into "peanut". Great. Can't wait for his first day at preschool when they serve peanuts for a snack.

He knows the difference...he just thinks it's hilarious.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by gcgirl

We taught DS the real terms, but somehow he morphed "penis" into "peanut". Great. Can't wait for his first day at preschool when they serve peanuts for a snack.

He knows the difference...he just thinks it's hilarious.

No worries - due to anaphylaxis concerns and allergy policies, I don't think any preschools allow peanuts anymore. You are probably safe for a while!

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by dogretro

Probably the same thing as when they meet a kid named Dick or Willy

Good point! I guess I should be thankful I've never heard a little girl talk about her "Vanessa" or "Velveeta" I'm sure they must be out there.

[feminist~mama]

I think you're doing a great job! My dd has always been taught correct names for body parts too...