help--still "sleeping" sitting up!!

[honeygirl]

hello everyone,

i am a mama to 7-month old twin girls. don't laugh, but i've been sleeping sitting up with them since they were born. i have them head-to-head on a nursing pillow (with pillow barricade all around), & i sit against a wedge pillow & the wall. it worked for us for a while--so easy to nurse them at night, & they were too little to have lying in bed with us. HOWEVER, my body is really suffering at this point, & i think they're beginning to get uncomfortable, too.

my problem is that they don't like the transition to a crib (many tears). i'm happy to have them in (king size) bed with us, but how?? they both like to nurse simultaneously to sleep. i tried one at a time but that made some sleepy twins very angry. if i can move them off me while they're still sleeping (which i rarely can do succesfully, especially during day), they only stay asleep for 20 minutes or so.

does anyone have any advice? how can we work the family bed without crushing them (my great fear)? i can't seem to make this work, & i'm becoming desperate. i searched for threads on the "sitting up" problem, but found none--yikes, am i alone??

thanks for any help--!!

[kjoy2]

I know other twin moms who have slept sitting up with their babes for the first few months, so you aren't alone (though you may be a record for 7 months). It's hard to change something when it's working, even if it's just 'mostly' working, so I understand.

As far as not crushing them in the family bed, well, unless you are morbidly obese or under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or prescription sleep pills, I don't think you should dwell on that fear. If any of the listed things are true for you, then maybe a family bed isn't the best idea. You can buy baby sleep positioners to use in bed with you, though I'm not sure if your girls are too old for them.

Some mamas can make laying down and nursing two babies to sleep work by using some positioning aids such as pillow and doing what works for the bodies in question. If you try and can't get it to work for you, The No Cry Sleep Solution book by E. Pantley offers advice for transitioning baby to fall asleep without the breast. That, or you could try pacifiers.

Good luck! Keep trying until you find something that works better for you all!

[honeygirl]

that's it exactly--it's "mostly" working, and it is so hard to change it--and it's so easy for me to give up after one failed attempt just to keep chaos at bay!

i'm going to research sleep positioners for older babes. that might help ease the transition from sleeping on me to sleeping in the bed--

thanks so much for your advice!

[dividedsky]

you are a trooper!

mine are 13mos. i still usually tandem nurse them to sleep (but can and do nurse them down individually if one is ready for bed and the other isn't) on the ez2nurse, but they sleep a majority of the night in cribs, which they are ok with. my husband will pop in 15-20min after they get settled in to grab them and transfer to their beds.

at first (mine slept on me for a long while, too) they did the only sleeping for 20min thing. and it was tiring for me, but i just grabbed one or both, soothed him, and put him back down either totally sleeping or nearly so. eventually the initial stretch of sleep got longer, as they got cozy in their beds. i think the key is to just keep on putting them down (in the family bed, crib, wherever) when they're in happy-sleepyland, and reassuring them when they wake, no matter how many times they wake. i don't buy into the "put them down drowsy" thing - it never worked for my kids.

[Valerieg]

My twins aren't even two weeks old yet but your post just convinced me not to try this tonight. I do nurse them simultaneously when it is time for me to go to sleep and then at least once over the course of the night. Otherwise, one sleeps with DH in the recliner and the other lies next to me in our king size bed. We switch every time one gets hungry but thankfully mine don't wake often (only 1-2x/night).

But, DH is tired and I was hoping to help him out by sitting up tonight. I also don't feel comfortable sleeping with both in my bed and so far they hate the arm's reach co-sleeper.

I really loved the Pantley book with my other two. That'd likely help you too! I stopped nursing my singletons to sleep at around 6 mo or so and began putting them to bed awake (we'd do boob, bath, book, bed). I also nursed after nap instead of before.

I hope the book helps or that someone here has a nugget of knowledge.

[royaloakmi]

No laughing here . . . I slept sitting up for a long time. When my butt became permanently numb from sitting up all night and sitting nursing them all day, I realized it was time for a change

At around 6 months (when they had head control and could sit at least sort of) I was able to get "relatively" comfortable in our bed by putting two or three pillows under my head/shoulders and one pillow under each arm.

Each baby would then be in the "crook" of each arm and they had enough head control that they could latch on and off themselves during the night.

I could occassionally get out of bed after they had simultaneously nursed to sleep if I was very stealthy. Honestly, most of the time, I think I fell asleep too.

As they got older, we kept them in bed and I would roll back and forth between them during the night as each woke.

Good luck!

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by royaloakmi

No laughing here . . . I slept sitting up for a long time. When my butt became permanently numb from sitting up all night and sitting nursing them all day, I realized it was time for a change

At around 6 months (when they had head control and could sit at least sort of) I was able to get "relatively" comfortable in our bed by putting two or three pillows under my head/shoulders and one pillow under each arm.

Each baby would then be in the "crook" of each arm and they had enough head control that they could latch on and off themselves during the night.

I could occassionally get out of bed after they had simultaneously nursed to sleep if I was very stealthy. Honestly, most of the time, I think I fell asleep too.

As they got older, we kept them in bed and I would roll back and forth between them during the night as each woke.

Good luck!

This is pretty much what I did. We slept with them in our bed right from the start and I found a way to nurse them lying down right away. I'm way too lazy to get out of bed or even sit up . Now I can tandem nurse them to sleep in bed without any pillows and they will roll away after getting drowsy.

[daisie31]

I slept sitting up too with one in each arm...it's tiring but better than no sleep at all huh? Now, they are next to me in bed. My hard core booby baby is next to me nursing on and off all night and my better sleeper is next to her and I pick her up and sling her over my side when she wakes to feed. I keep a pillow behind me to lean back on and she sorta rests on that. I lay on one side or the other all night. If they are both sleeping good, I will rotate the awake baby to nurse laying next to me and just continue to rotate and scoot back a bit each time. I never move the sleeping one, that wouldn't fly here. It's not the best solution but it's the best I've got.

Good luck getting supine

Dena

[honeygirl]

thank you to everyone for the suggestions and support--it's a relief to know that others have struggled with but solved this issue (and that one's butt does regain feeling). i keep rereading everyone's posts and am trying to envision getting my babies to sleep in a new position after seven months. it's amazing how hard it's been for me to change this--on some level, i think i must be scared to.

dena, how do you sling one baby over you to nurse while side-nursing the other? i can't quite envision this, but i'm really curious--and i want to stockpile as many ideas as possible!

[Angelorum]

I only have a singleton, but I think this could work with two...

I can nurse my 7 mo while sleeping flat on my back. I have him laying on his tummy, with his far arm and leg sort of draped down my side. I cradle him with my arm, which is supported by a bed pillow laying right next to me. My other arm and breast are totally free, so I think if you had another pillow on the other side it could be done.

Other than that, I second No Cry Sleep Solution. There is also advice in there about transitioning to a crib if that's what you want.

[Julia'sMom]

Does anyone have pictures for laying down and tandeming? I have 3 month olds and I still have to sit up with my EZ-2-nurse pillow when it's time to feed them. Thankfully, they stay asleep when I take them off, but it's still a pain.