parents with 3 children question!

[Abylite]

Hello! I didn't think I'd be asking this, but wondering what solidified your decision to have a third child! My oldest DD is 4 1/2 and DS is 2.4 years and low and behold, I am "open to discussion" about having a third!

Don't want to "wait" to long if possible so they could all be somewhat close in age and I am 40. I'm wondering how we would be from going from crazy to chaos? I don't have any mom friends that have 3 children, so just wondering what having a third child means to your family! It's all I've been thinking about lately! Thanks!

[georgia]

Moving to Parenting

[jurisbo]

For me, going from one to two was much harder than from two to three. Our three kids play together very well, which makes it easier to still get things done around the house. My oldest (6yo) is old enough and responsible enough to keep an eye on her brothers while they all play in a bedroom, so I can take a solo shower sometimes. And we have found that our third grew up faster, trying to chase his siblings everywhere. He walked earlier, potty trained earlier, and just generally insists that he is big like his siblings.

I did suffer from some PPD after my third, which was a new experience. This made the first couple of months after his birth very difficult for all of us. I don't think this was related to having three kids though. I do remember feeling more confident in knowing how to handle multiple children with the third. With the second, it took me many months to feel like we were prepared when we left the house.

--Shawn

[Grace and Granola]

I don't have three (yet), but I have several friends with three or more and they ALL say that going from 2-3 is easier than going from 1-2. That gives me hope! My kids are roughly the same age as yours and I'm considering it too!

[Dandelionkid]

Going to three was super hard for me but became easier day after day until now, 13 months later, it is really not more work than two. Doesn't feel like it anyway. Although, people with only two do seem a lot more peaceful from my perspective!
I am in the same place as you, except contemplating a 4th.

[cappuccinosmom]

For me, three definitely added a level of chaos. It doesn't matter what the combination is, if two of my children are here and one is out, or if I take two with me and leave one with a family member, everything is just fine. Easy-peasy. Add the third one in and it becomes hard work. Don't know why that is, just the dynamic for our family.

That said, we looooooooooooove our third and I couldn't imagine the world without him. He is awesome, wonderful, unique, precious, and amazing. Even though having a third definitely stretched me, I am so grateful for him and I don't regret for a single second that God gave him to us. He brought me some extra work but he also brought joy and beauty into our family that we would be missing without him.

We don't use bc at all, so for us it wasn't a "decision" to have a third. We were just open. And he arrived.

[of2mindsmama]

3 is easier for us too

we had such an easier transition to 3 than to 2. i think it was because when we had our 3rd last year, the older 2 had each other to play with and didn't babble at me while the baby needed attention.
good luck with your decision!

[34me]

We didn't decide to have three, our third decided to join us. As far as chos or not I think it depends on the kiddo. My middle guy is my needy one, my third guy is still at 11 the mellowest kid on the face of the planet. He's awesome and our tie- breaker.

[dantesmama]

I just had my third two months ago, and going from 2 to 3 was a breeze for us! My first two are 4 and 2.5 and they keep each other pretty occupied, so I have time to focus on the baby. And I had multitasking down pat by the time #3 came around. The bigger ones adore the baby, and he's absolutely fascinated by his big brothers. Couldn't be happier!

[Drummer's Wife]

2-3 wasn't so bad for us (neither was 3-4, really). Sure, you're outnumbered, but it can be so fun! I just love babies, so having another newborn around is always a pleasure. Nw, as they have gotten older (3, 5, 7, 9) it is more challenging in many ways, and I can definitely see how 2 vs 3 or more would be easier... But #3 and 4 bring us so much joy that it outweighs any extra work.

[akwifeandmomma]

Going from 1 to 2 was WAY more difficult than 2 to 3, for us. Now we're considering #4.

[GreenMamma]

My experience so far has been going from no children to 1 child is a shock, going from 1 child to 2 children is a challenge, and going from 2 children to 3 children is bliss. You've already learned how to handle more than one, now it's just adding in more hugs and kisses.

And the way I see it, most people that have another child never look back once they are born thinking they shouldn't have had that baby.

[AAK]

I am a much more relaxed mom with the third. Not too relaxed--she is in no danger of neglect, but in a good way.

How we decided: We had the two, I wanted all my kids to be fairly close in age. DH and I had difficulty conceiving our first two and that was stressful, so we decided to try without doctors until our 2nd turned 3. At that point we would be satisfied with two. We got pg just after that conversation actually. I ran down to get a blood test so I could get the prog. prescription if I needed it (I did). Also at the time, I told dh that if we had 3 he had to be open to 4. My oldest two were so very close, I didn't want the third to be left out. When she was 13 months, I decided against a fourth because the third baby spent way too much time in the car seat (imo). Sometimes I regret that because the oldest two ARE very close/tight and the third one seems to need a match. But, of course, even if we would have had a fourth doesn't mean that they would have gotten as tight. That being said, the third and the second play very well together. My second, though, is the peacemaker. My oldest and youngest want to rule the roost, so they butt heads a bit. . . well, quite often actually. Maybe they will be tight as they get older.

Amy. . . my girls are 10, 7, & 4

[Abylite]

Wow! Thank you for all your replies! MDC group is such an inspiration to me....I don't go near other "boards!" People think because we have a girl and boy that we should be "done"...I don't really talk about this to anyone really....alot of people around here have "just one" as well. We are definitely open to the discussion now!

[mntnmom]

What made up my mind? The positive pregnancy test
Seriously though, we knew we wanted a big family from the start, but tried to make sure each baby was a conscious choice. #2 was a demanding baby, and still is a challenging 5yr old. He almost convinced me to give up on more. But our family just didn't feel "done". So here we are, expecting #4 any day... and talking about adopting at some time in the future.
It really is such a personal thing. I know moms who are thrilled with 1, and moms who made a practical decision to stop despite the fact that they are still pining for more.

[Peony]

I always knew I would have 3 and that decision was a very easy one, I am having a tough time deciding on #4 or not. 2 to 3 was a smooth transition for me, it certainly does add another level of chaos like someone else said. There is always someone needing something now. I get minimal downtime because of that now but it well worth it. I will say that DH has a difficult time going from 2 to 3. Before there was often one adult per child, he rarely went off with the two kids alone, now he has to all the time, he is finally going through the whole transition that I went through from 1 to 2 when you have to learn how to manage two children at the same time. I will say that DS whi is my 3rd is a easy baby compared to my first two so that certainly makes a difference.

[MammaG]

We had #3 three months ago and I LOVE it! He was a blissfully peaceful baby for the first two months and even now that he's a bit fussier I'm just so completely totally in love with him that it rolls right off when we have a tough day or night. I was pretty prepared to be a Mamma as I'd been a nanny for 10 years before I got married, but still, we are much more relaxed and confident with #3. DH and he have a really special relationship, too. WIth #1 and #2 it took him a little while, but this baby is such a Dadda's boy.

We have three boys, ages 5.5, 4, and 3 months.

Our decision to have three we actually made before we even got engaged. It just seemed right to us. But now that #3's here, we've actually talked about a possible #4 some day. 3 kids ROCKS in our house!

[confustication]

#3 is 5 months old, #2 is 14 months old and #1 is 8 years old.

#3 was a difficult shift for me, but a lot of that was because of how close the younger two are. A newborn and a non-verbal toddler who wasn't yet walking was HARD. Dow that DS 1 is walking more, and playing more on his own, and DS 2 is more interactive it's so much easier!

It is, however a totally different level of chaos.

[elus0814]

I found going from one to two very easy. I have two hands and there are two parents in the house. With three we are outnumbered and I am out of hands so someone is always left out. Going from two to three has been extremely difficult and still is nearly a full year later. Two was so easy compared to this. We didn't plan on a third (or a second, or a first) they have just all happened.

[Juvysen]

We waffled a lot on whether to have another child. It seemed like financially it wasn't the best decision, but i wanted another baby and was having a hard time dealing with that, but at the same time I was scared to have a third. We finally decided to start trying to get pregnant and set the month for last July. I still wasn't completely sure I was ready to go for it, and Dh wasn't sure either... and then I accidentally got pregnant in June.

No clue how it's going to go for us, though. Hopefully we'll find out soon (I'm nearly 37 weeks)