How many closeted cosleeper have you found?

[verde]

I just found another one at my job. Once I tell people that 4 y/o DD still sleeps with us, people admit that yeah, their (fill in the blank) sleeps with them too. And we all love it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

[MyZymurgy]

Oh, yeah! I think it is MUCH more common than is let on publicly. There are several parents who made such "confessions" to me. I tend associate co-sleeping with crunchier families... but the fact is that a huge segment of the population co-sleeps and many of them (if not most of them) aren't that crunchy.

Some co-sleep because they breastfeed, some do it to promote better sleep for everyone, some just enjoy the intimacy of a family bed, and some co-sleep because they only have a limited space and it makes the most sense logistically. There are a million more reasons, just a diverse as the families that practice co-sleeping. Honestly, I think the majority of parents who's kid has serious sleep issues, at least at some point, try co-sleeping. Sometimes it's the only way ANYONE gets any sleep.

Mostly, though, co-sleeping is just feels like a natural way to care for your children during the night, and it doesn't take a granola mom and dad to figure that out.

So, yeah, I think there are a LOT of closeted co-sleepers out there!

[beebalmmama]

Just one, a parent of one of my dh's students. They had a big "family bed" with their 3yr, 5 yr, and 9yr old. They weren't crunchy or had any lack of space. All the kids had their own rooms, they just didn't sleep there. They did seem more comfortable telling dh this after he told them ds was still sleeping with us.

[kgreenemama]

Once - a coworker. Her DS is exactly one year younger than mine, and one day, she casually asked me how well my son slept. I told her how DS was a really intense baby and we decided to cosleep and EBF both because they felt natural and because, really, he'd have it no other way. As I revealed this to her, I watched the look on her face turn to pure relief. She said, "I thought I was the only mom in the world with a kid like that." We've become friends because of this connection, and on more than one occasion, she'd come to me in tears, looking for reassurance that things DO improve with a high-needs babe. It feels good to now be the one offering attachment parenting advice rather than always seeking (and rarely finding) it.

From a more societal perspective - what is wrong with the world we live in that we have to hide the fact that we love our children enough to offer them nighttime security??? Crazy, isn't it?

[sunnmama]

The very mainstream ped that I used when dd was small basically believed that "everybody" cosleeps some of the time. I think that is largely true.

But, dedicated cosleepers? I've been pretty surprised. Our 9 yo sleeps in our big (2 mattress) family bed, along with our 3 yo. She has 2 friends, both 8 yo, who sleep with their parents fulltime. Neither are from particularly NFL families. The one friend is from a very different culture, so that might make be a factor.

[MyZymurgy]

Originally Posted by kgreenemama

From a more societal perspective - what is wrong with the world we live in that we have to hide the fact that we love our children enough to offer them nighttime security??? Crazy, isn't it?

Right. Why is anyone in the closet about this?

[Ruthie's momma]

Originally Posted by MyZymurgy

Right. Why is anyone in the closet about this?

Great point!

[Jaesun's Dad]

I had to laugh a little at the notion of "closeted" cosleeping.

My friends and family when I mention it don't seem to think of it as a big deal. On a few internet forums you get the hardline SIDS guardians who will make the most fuss about it.

I used to sleep with my cat when my partner and I first started dating (the cat has since been adopted into a new home) and she thought this was gross, abnormal, and at one point referred to the practice with unflattering terms I wish not to repeat. Said she then: Beds are for sleeping and sex.

And now? Mom on the left, dad on the right and little Jaesun snug between us.

But I think we will be moving him to his own bed by the time he's 2 when we'll probably move to a place that lets him have his own room. I think that's important to have by school age, at least.

[major_mama11]

Tons! I work nights in a healthcare setting, and I would say close to 50% of the parents cosleep. And that's just the ones that are open about it.

I know quite a few people who aren't into many "AP" things at all, but who do cosleep.

[MamaChicken]

Oh gosh, tons! I mentioned something in passing at work and one of the guys pulled me aside later and said that he and his wife coslept with all 5 of their kids for several years. Happens all the time, especially since I'm not quiet about co-sleeping.

[~Katie~]

I would say that nearly every single person I know has had their child sleep in bed with them at some point. The rest aren't admitting to it. I've always been open and frank about it, it's especially common with military families when one of the parents is gone and there are small children at home.

[leigh09]

i've found two that coslept with their children for a longterm basis.

i've found several people who cosleep with their children when they are sick/frightened/having sleep problems etc. but they (parents) are still hesitant to admit even to this.