Help! Super-sensitive toddler and his new baby brother?!

[beccabus]

My son is 2 years 3.5 months. His baby brother is 3 weeks. DS1 has always been extremely sensitive to noises, especially noises he's not expecting. He has never liked when other children are loud whether it's squealing with happiness or crying. In my mind, he is a very very sensitive child. Basically, I'm trying to make the point that this is not a new trait of his.

Now enter new baby brother. He is very laid back, cries only to eat or be relieved of gas discomfort. He cries minimally. BUT, when he does cry, DS1 is beside himself. I try and comfort him, but oftentimes it's a wasted effort. I cannot explain to him that everything is ok, because in his mind it's not okay. The best thing I have been able to do is just try and squelch the crying asap. DS1 is great with his brother. No outlashes, no aggression, only comments here and there about not liking him or wanting me to put him down.

Is there anything I can do to help DS1 with the adjustment to crying and loud noises?? I have just almost survived my first week alone with the both of them and it's awful!! DS1 is so upset/whiny and melting down with every fuss his brother makes....it's wearing me down trying to juggle both of their needs all at once..

[beccabus]

anyone??

[NaturallyPeachey]

I'm in a similar situation. DS is 22 months and DD is 4 weeks. DS is a very sensitive toddler overall. Very quiet and shy. DS started to cry/whine for things that he never did that for before and also for about a week when DD would cry he would cry too. I really just talk out loud about what we have to do to make DD happy. Change her, feed her, burp her, rock her and I get him involved with it - throw the dirty diaper out, bring me her blanket, rub her head, pat her back etc. He loves to burp DD and runs around laughing and saying "big burp" a million times after he pats her back. Also, I've found that when DD goes down to sleep or is content hanging out in the bouncy, I have to give all my attention to DS. I really have to make an effort to set aside my laundry list of to do's and focus on him and those times when DD is fussy and stressing us all out then he's somewhat better at entertaining himself for the moment or at least behaving for me. That could be what your seeing in you DS is just a reaction to the change in his life and your stress and the baby's stress when she's fussy. Every one keeps telling me it gets better by about 3 months. One down - two to go :-) Hang in there!!

[OTMomma]

Thinking a little out of the box here- but very sensitive children like that may have sensory processing disorder, (or other similar issue) that can be treated with occupational therapy. Basically, the super sensitive child actually does feel things more strongly than most of us, the baby's crying is louder to him for example.

I would make a point of explaining to him that the baby's crying is how the baby talks to you and lets you know you need to do something for him. Talk to ds about how you know he hates the crying and brainstorm with him what he can do when the baby cries- would he like to hide in his room, or be in charge of getting baby's favorite toy, or hold his hands over his ears. Just knowing he has something to do to help him cope may help- and you can work with him to change the technique if it doesn't work.