In need of support

[sgmom]

I have 3 months to go, and have done tons of research on vbacs and natural birth (mostly ican-online and spinning babies), so I feel like I'm ready. But the closer it gets, the harder it is for me to relax about non-medical intervention.

A couple weeks ago my midwife gave me some papers to read over about the risks and blah blah blah, as well as a form I have to sign to say that I'm signing with informed consent to deny continuous fetal monitoring incase I end up at the hospital.

And now I'm all freaked out.

There are certain factors that I'm having a hard time overlooking. What if I'm late again and my water breaks with mec, but no labor (like it did at my daughter's birth, at 13 days past EDD)? It's "policy" to go to the hospital and be monitored, then induced if no labor has started on it's own. But I FIRMLY believe that this is what caused the huge chain of events that led to her c-section.

Ugh... I know I've got a ways to go. I just need some support, if you have any to offer.

[BeeBliss]

I just had my VBAC a week ago. I went back and forth from being confident to freaking out it wouldn't happen the way I expected.

I think it is natural to have concerns, and even doubts.

Going into the labor well prepared (birth plan, legal documents) with the proper support people (midwife, doula, partner, friends) will help you feel secure enough to focus on your labor and delivery and not what is happening around you. I choose a hospital birth and not once this time around did I worry we weren't in control.

Will your midwife be your doula if you are admitted to the hospital?

[sgmom]

I guess I'm afraid of something going wrong. I have a doula, but unfortunately she has to move out of town during the month I'm due. She's trying to find a replacement, so hopefully it all works out.

My midwife's advice for this birth is to labor at home for as long as absolutely possible, which will highly benefit towards my goal, if my doula is unable to attend (or even if she isn't).

It's just that time is getting close and I'm being approached with all these options and consent forms... it's all a little scary.

[shenanegans]

I hope you are able to have a doula with you. When are you due? don't worry about the forms, continuous monitoring is not doing you any favors anyway, it is a huge distraction. A good Dr. will be able to listen occastionally just as effectively. I was also feeling very worried a few weeks back when I realized I wouldn't be able to get in any of our local birth centers.So I just started putting all my effort into finding a private midwife and sure enough, I found one. Have you been researching and looking locally for a doula yourself? I posted on a local board for a playgroup which got me in contact with some wonderful women who helped me out. I wish you all the best for a happy and normal birth!

[elisheva]

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Even though you are signing consent forms, you can change your mind. Your body. Your birth. Your baby. Trust. Your. Instincts.

One thing that helped me before my first VBAC was letting go...imagining for one minute that I could "allow" myself to plan a rcs. For one whole minute I actually went there. Then the traffic light changed and I drove on. But what a relief it was to really consider all my options as valid.

Have you researched what to look for if your water breaks with mec? I don't know what I would do but I would def jump right on line to the ICAN list and ask for info. Hypothetically: you water breaks and there *is* mec. You go to the hospital and they monitor you. They suggest rcs or induction. What do you need in order to make the best decision for *you*? Would you refuse induction and request to continue monitoring the baby? What would that scenario look like for you? Can you role-play in your head? What kind of support do you need?

With VBAC #1, my water was broken (without mec) for 41 hours before ds2 was born at home. With VBAC #2 things went more quickly and my water was only broken for 22 hours before dd was born at home.

s

[MNHall]

I had a lot of back and forth from nervousness and fear to excited and confident before my VBAC. Each time I had the nervousness and fear, I needed to surround myself with people that were supportive. Like, talking to my doula, coming here, reading about natural births and VBACs. And when it came time to actual labor, somehow, not a single ounce of fear entered my mind. (well, until I was pushing forever...but that's what my doula was for!)

But, like previously said, trust your instincts! When the day comes, you do what you, as the mama, feel like is right for you!

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by elisheva

Have you researched what to look for if your water breaks with mec? I don't know what I would do but I would def jump right on line to the ICAN list and ask for info. Hypothetically: you water breaks and there *is* mec. You go to the hospital and they monitor you. They suggest rcs or induction. What do you need in order to make the best decision for *you*? Would you refuse induction and request to continue monitoring the baby? What would that scenario look like for you? Can you role-play in your head? What kind of support do you need?

Thanks for this. I think this is exactly what I need to do. Maybe make a list to discuss with both my midwife and my doula. And I think the most important thing to note, is what I need them to be TO ME. For example, my midwife will inform me of what I need to do to achieve my goal, then leave it all in my hands. There's a lot of "whatever you want". I need to tell her that this is what I want, and I need her to be in charge of doing what she has to do to make that happen (and stop asking me if I want this or that).

Unfortunately I live in a very small town where there are very few of both (only 3 midwives and not many more doula's), but I've definitely got the best match for me (one midwife I don't like at ALL, and the other is next to impossible to get).

[AustinMom]

I think especially as a VBAC, it's important to express any fears you are having, even if they are as silly as "I think I'm going to split in half when the baby comes out". I am a firm believer that whatever fears I don't deal with now, will come up in labor, and that's something I don't want to have to deal with then. I like the suggestion of talking with supportive people, doula, mw, etc. And going down every road you can think of for the "just in case" measure.

I plan on renting Orgasmic Birth and watching that while I am in early labor. Also, my MW told me before her VBAC, she read Spiritual Midwifery over and over. I'd do that, anything by Ina May is going to be reassuring.

You can do this. Your Body can do this, and your baby can do this. I don't know if ROM before labor is more common if a mom has had a labor start that way in the past, but what I'm aware of, only like 10% of labors start this way, so you may very well not have that happen this time.

Happy Birthing!

[kltroy]

I would do some research about some of the possibilities that you are concerned about (and discuss w/ midwife).

For example, you ask what if your water breaks and there's no labor within 24 hours. What are the risks/benefits of waiting longer than 24 hours? What are the risks/benefits of inducing? if you decide the better option may be to induce, what options are there for induction?

You are obviously not going to be alble to predict all scenarios, and honestly I wouldn't make yourself crazy trying to do this. Just know that when it all happens, you may, in fact, encounter a situation that you hadn't expected. Nearly everyone I know did (myself included). I think the key to feeling good about your birth is to know that you made a good and informed decision that you were confident was the RIGHT decision, given the information you had AT THE TIME and the situation that you were in. As long as you feel you've done your due diligence in considering the easy stuff, and as long as you TRUST your midwife, you are likely to have a good experience.

[sgmom]

My doula just came over for a visit, and we discussed a few of my concerns. I didn't realize that it's not making an informed decision that bothers me (not entirely, anyway). It's lack of other options.

If I need to be induced (for example), I need to know what other options there are, and how long would be considered safe to try them before induction becomes something we NEED to do.

I think it was in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, one of the stories involved a woman who decided to have two other women suck on her nipples to induce labor. I forget the details, but I found that story to be just awesome. I'm not saying that doing this would be my choice, but my point is that it worked without use of oxytocin (or pitocin).

I do trust my midwife, but she's ALL about giving me the facts, then telling me to "make a decision". I've got my list started, and "other options" is right at the top.