Originally Posted by Bena
I'm not asking because I want to try it out!
On the contrary, I feel like if I knew what about it makes people swear it "works" and "has" to be done, I would be better prepared to argue why I am not willing to do it with my baby.
Does that make sense?
Yes that does make sense.
I think in our society (and by our I mean western/global north) we have grown to value independance and through that we have grown to believe that teaching independace must come through hardship, through cutting the apron strings. We have grown to believe that if it doesn't hurt it must not be good for you. And so we are encouraged to leave our children to cry to give them character and build their independance. Other cultures don't seem so obsessed with making their kids independant, but then most other cultures don't kick their kids out at 17 or 18 either.
I think people believe it works because as far as teaching kids to not call for their parents at night it does
work. But since the goal is to teach them to self soothe it fails. I don't know many adults
that truly self soothe...most I know rely on alcohol, drugs, a partner, white noise, food or any and all of the above. So I'm thinking Ferber's theory is lacking on long term research, ya know?
But at the end of the day, the bottom line is that you do not have to justify your choice to anyone. You KNOW it's not right, so to hang with those who think you're wrong.