Are all these collections normal? Suggestions?

[BelCanto]

M 7yo dd seems to want to collect a lot of stuff lately. And, over the past 6 months or so, it seems like her room is being overrun. Whatever she keeps, it seems she wants to have it on display...so all the surfaces in her bedroom are filled with things like:
1. pencil lead collection (this just started this school year - broken pencil lead tips)
2. oragami envelopes she's made
3. Rocks (she loves rocks)
4. little toys such as those plastic animals, cars...
5. I see a tiny santa hat that used to be on something, a large safety pen, play coins, cute valentines, pictures she sees in magazines that she things are pretty, craft items, stickers, colored paper clips, some straws she tried bend into different shapes, stuffed animals she has dressed.

Her magnet board is covered with pictures and drawings. Oh, and on super bowl sunday, she put some pepper seeds from a bell pepper I was cutting and put it into a plastic bag and labeled it "football day pepper seeds" and hung that too.

Part of me says it is normal. I remember thinking certain little things were pretty and wanting to save them - even though I didn't necessarily have anything to do with them.

But, some of the things are weird, the pepper seeds, pencil leads...

My thought is this weekend to help her "clean" her room and try to see how attached to this stuff she is... I just don't know. I just know that last weekend I was in her room with her and it just suddenly seemed so overwhelmingly cluttered.

Others with similar experiences? Thanks for your perspectives and suggestions.

[cedoreilly]

My DD is 6 and the same way. The only way I can get her to part with the "junk" is to clean her room for her and get rid of some of it when she is not around. I don't put the bag I put the stuff in in the trash can outside until 24 hours later in case she notices something very important gone. Most of the time she does not realize any of it gone.

[AllisonR]

I was (still am) that child. I've got lots of tips, mostly positive.

I'd say it is normal, and actually quite productive. Is your DD a very creative, artistic type? Maybe she is enjoying the various patterns in all her things - the colors, the textures, shapes, sizes... And maybe she is keeping them as ideas for art projects.

When I was your DD's age, I kept various "things." For a year or two I kep starburst candy bar wrappers. I loved the pattern of the letters and the contrasting colors. I had thought of making a collage out of them. Then I thought about if I tore them in half they would be twice as long. And if I did that again and again, eventually they could be long enough to go around the world, or even touch the moon. And if I had a majical cutter that could cut thinner than a paper cut, to the size of an atom, then the length could be infinite, or close to infinite. Point is, having that collection was useful to me, it helped me think in a different way.

I also kept old valentines day boxes. I loved all the little cubby holes and the lingering chocolate smell. I kept old strings of various colors. I kept a few "odd" thinks I won't post. I don't think pencil leads are too odd for a 7 yo. You never know how she thinks about them. I once kept lint samples from the dryer. All those unique colors! I thouhgt I would make a rainbow colored wall panel with them behind glass one day!

On the plus side: over time her tastes will mature and she will keep different things. Also on the plus side: you can teach her how too much stuff just makes her life, and her room, cluttered. You can teach her good cleaning habits. This is how I would approach it:

I would explain that you RESPECT her collections, but now her room is too cluttered and she needs some space. Explain she will feel less cluttered if she cleans.

Help her with the actual cleaning. If it is such a mess she may be overwhelmed and not know where or how to start.

Set a realistic goal: say she has 6 collections. Plus 20 things on her magnet board. Tell her she has to get rid of 3 of the collections and can keep 3. Tell her she can keep 10 of the things on her magnet board. This will be hard for her. There is meaning in all these things for her and to just trash them will be difficult.

*Important: Let her decide which things are kept, which are trashed. Totally RESPECT which items she chooses to keep/trash. Telling her a collection is odd, or just junk... tells her to feel ashamed or embarrased about her feelings, or that her views are meaningless. If she wants to trash the plastic cars but keep the pepper seeds - you may think it is dumb, but totally hold your tongue. She will learn that you are helping her get organised, AND that you respect her choices.

You might also be able to teach her an additional lesson in finishing tasks. Lets say she can't part with one of her collections because she is going to do XYZ with it. Ok, then take that entire collection and put it in a shoe box. Go back to the original cleaning task. And tell her that collection will sit in the shoe box for 7 days ONLY. When she is done cleaning, she can then do the XYZ project with the shoe box items. If it is important to her she will. If it isn't, then you and her can trash it together after a week. But do have her finish it or trash it, otherwise she isn't learning how to follow through and complete things. If you let her have a bunch of shoe box collections, after a while her room will be a huge mess of boxes.

Also consider recycling. Lets say she has 6 collections. Tell her she can have 3 out in her room at any one time. Once the 4th collection comes out, one of the other 3 must go in a box and put in the basement or wherever. After a while, she may not be recycling some of the collections at all, and they can be trashed.

As an adult, I still collect SOME things. But my mother taught me good habits, and my home is not overrun with junk. In fact it is me saying we have to trash all the old monitors and old computers that we won't even use as spare parts anymore, and my husband is dragging his feet. Sometimes my house is a bit messy, but that is usually childrens toys, not my stuff, which I keep in a separate studio. And when it gets too cluttered, I do a huge super cleaning, which makes my home, and my mind, uncluttered as well. I still collect stuff I might use for art projects, but they tend to be smaller items. And if I have 2 or 3 collections and want another one for a new art project, then I clean up and trash one of my other collections.

Best of luck to you and your DD.

[meemee]

you know even though it feels odd to you they are your child's 'treasures'. we have all sorts of collections. i dont throw them away or do anything. i will watch it over time (she is 7) and then handle it when it becomes overwhelming and starts affecting our lives.

we've got acorn, pinecone, rocks, sticks, beads and sparkley things, little nick knacks like a peanut that looks like a bottom.

they are special to her. like i keep telling her - being different is being unique. one of her friends in school collects throw away lead pencils. dont ask me why but he always rescues the pencils abuout to be thrown out in the trash.

[DaughterOfKali]

It sounds as though she's very creative. If she just had one or two collections that she was fixated with, then I'd say there could be a problem.

Your dd sounds fine though.

[BelCanto]

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it.

She is very creative and I want to nurture that, but at the same time help her to organize. There are some wonderful suggestions here!!!

Wish me luck this weekend! I'm excited to do this with her, I hope it will be a positive experience. I think it will be. She likes being organized too.

Jen