Originally Posted by GuildJenn
Sometimes you just have to settle for good enough - by which I mean you might have to leave him in a way that involves a small amount of hardship for your child (although I don't think staying means no hardship, if you see what I mean) and some financial struggle. But staying involves its own set of struggles. If my husband called me white trash and was keeping a list on me, well, I'd prefer to deal with a bad FICO score or whatever personally. At least there the rules are clear and impersonal.
I do think about this. A lot.
It's not so much the FICO score as poverty. I don't want to wind up in poverty again, having grown up in extreme poverty where the cupboards were bare most of the time and there was frost on the wall in winter. It was a miserable existence.
And I know that people will say it's not right to raise my child in this environment with my husband, but who's to say my husband wouldn't get at least joint custody?
I really have to figure this out in a way that isn't going to cast us into poverty.
I always did well when I could work full time, and when I wasn't paying day care. But wages have simply not kept pace. I'm making pretty close to what I made 10 years ago. And prices have skyrocketed, and, yes, the bubble has stopped but my money doesn't go as far as it did 10 years ago, and I didn't have day care expenses then. Everything is harder now. The world has changed.
My job currently is part time (professional and fairly good pay, but part time). There is no opportunity for full time in the immediate future due to funding. So, to move to full time, I either have to leave or wait.
I have been looking, and if I relocate, the pay is much better. But, of course, DH is very opposed, and very vocal in his opposition to such things, and then there is the issue of the house, which I've been trying to sell for quite a while.
If it were 10 years ago, and my house could sell like houses did back then, and my money stretched as far as it did back then, it would be so much different.
But, I've run the numbers, I've looked for apartments, I've tried to sell my house, and I've been working. And there's just no easy answer.
I feel so uneasy. I have a lot of nightmares about homelessness. Well, not so much nightmares, but feelings of despair and dread because I've thought and thought about solutions and I just feel trapped in this recession and in a place where my parenting responsibilities and my parenting expenses (daycare, etc) exceed the time I can work full time in my field which requires many meetings and travel and what I can earn where I live now. It's really discouraging, but I'm sure something positive will come along...I just need to keep looking.