Meditations/affirmations for bonding with baby

[jennmiller]

DH and I have been under a tremendous amount of financial stress lately, for which we just can't see a way out of. As a result, I have actively avoiding doing anything that would connect me with the baby (who is our second child) because I'm afraid that I just won't be able to provide for or take care of him or her. I'm about 7 mos now and I can feel the countdown to birth ticking loudly. I have a lot of guilt about this lack of connection, particularly because I am so closely connected to my five year old. What can I do to remind myself that I can be a capable mother and to develop a connection with this baby?

[AmyKT]

I have heard that it's common to feel less bonded with subsequent babies before they are born. Typically, our lives are much more busy than they were with a first baby, so it's harder to focus as much on the developing baby. I know that my thoughts were constantly on my first dd while I was pregnant, but with this one, I will go hours without really thinking of him/her, and I have to consciously slow down to see if I can feel movement. I'm not as far along as you, so movement is not yet constant.

When I feel like I need to connect to my baby, I eat or drink something that is likely to cause some movement, and then I get into a quiet space so that I can feel the baby react. That reminds me that for now, we are one unit. Connected.

I'm sorry that you're under so many external pressures. I'm not in your situation, so I can't say what I would do or feel.

You are going to be capable of caring for this baby. The fact that you are worried about your connection while you are under the stress you're experiencing signals that you are already a loving mother.

[missmich]

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I can't really offer any advice since I'm not feeling much for mine baby right now either.

[ivymae]

What really helps me is the Joyful pregnancy track of my hypnobabies CDs. You can buy just that mp3 ($10) and listen to it on a regular basis.

For what it's worth, I have not felt as intensely bonded to my 2nd or 3rd children in utero, as I did with DD1. It isn't that I do not love them/am not bonded with them, but it's a bit like comparing love at first sight to falling in love with your best friend. DD1 was my first, so it was all so new and thrilling, while DD2 and DD3 feel like they've always been in our family, so it's just not as intense. Try not to compare how you feel about this baby to your last pregnancy - I felt really guilty with DD2, but this time I am realizing that my bond with each of my children will be different throughout their entire lives.

[jennmiller]

Thanks mamas. I feel better now. I think what really set me off was when my SIL called last night and told me that I had better quit worrying about our finances or I could "permanently and irreparably damage the baby". She is childless and just trying to help, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you how unhelpful her words were. Especially since I'm already fully aware of how much my emotions affect the baby. Anyway, a friend downloaded the hypnobabies tracks for me and I haven't looked at them yet. I'll be sure to check out the joyful pregnancy track tonight. Thanks for the help.