How to balance 'babymoon' with toddler's need for exercise.

[Boot]

I have a 12 day old and a nearly three year old. With our first we stayed home for the first 4-6 weeks and avoided over stimulation and loud or crowded places. I know not everyone does this but it was what felt right to us. I would like to do the same with this baby. DH has been off work and has taken ds out a bit but now we are on our own and ds is going stir crazy. I had a very rough birth ending in a c section with significant blood loss so I'm not really up for going out anyway. My mum is coming in a week and I will ask her to take ds out every day but in the meantime I need strategies. The TV is very tempting but I know it will create more problems in the long run. DS is sooooo loud and high energy right now. I'm pulling my hair out. Any tips?

[Erinz]

My son was almost 3 when my baby was born and it was tough I tell ya. I also like to stay in and just "be" with my babies and have a quiet babymoon. I often found myself reflecting at the end of the day that my baby had been in the wrap all day (even to nurse) and I hadn't had time to hardly look in his eyes! Things are different for the second (and subsequent) children esp when the spacing is close.

Can you make dates for friends to come engage your older child for a bit during the day? I ended up doing swim lessons for my older son (my baby was born in the summer) and he did gymnastics for a while too. I was always just trying to steal seconds to be with my baby and for us that meant I had to start leaving the house before I would have usually liked to.

You'll find a balance. I found it really difficult but it does eventually happen!

OH... and we FULLLLLY embraced the TV. Esp if your mom is coming in a week... one week of limited good DVD watching (Little Bear and other sweet stuff like that) can easily be undone. Esp since he won't have time for it once your mum arrives!

[Heidi74]

It's tough with the second one, isn't it? I agree with the PP that for this limited time it's fine to rely on some good DVDs. Read, read, read, read. Have DH go out and get stickers and art supplies if your LO likes that. Board games, maybe? Basically anything that will occupy your older child for a while. (My DS who is 2.5 loves bubble wrap these days...he will sit for half an hour or so just popping the bubbles if given the opportunity!)

If you are not up to going out (which it sounds like you won't be for a while), getting DH to take him outside a bit every day sounds wise. Otherwise, I'm not sure what to tell you. I was in a very different situation, since my younger DS was born in the summer, and I had a natural birth and was up on my feet quickly. I did take the baby out every day starting at around 2 weeks (the day after DH had to go back to work), but tried to go to places like playgrounds in the very beginning...places where strangers wouldn't be breathing on him.

You'll get through this, and it gets easier after a while. For now, just do what you need to do.

[Boot]

Well, I decided after nap today that ds just HAD to get out so I bundled the baby up in the wrap and we took his bike outside for half an hour. I think it did us all good but I was exhausted afterwards. Now DH has taken him to the shops so that should provide a little bit of stimulation. Thanks for the encouragement on the TV too. I did cave and let him watch Pingu on youtube for a bit while I fixed lunch. It helps to be reminded that this is a short phase. Roll on grandma's visit!

[dahlialia]

Maybe you can find ways to tire him out indoors.

DD today made up her own triathlon: jump over pillows laid out in the kitchen. Run around the living room tagging every piece of furniture. Then the slinky event on the stairs. She is older (6) but I'm sure there are some good younger kid approaches. Music, dancing and singing might be a good alternative to tv. Sitting and rolling a ball back and forth if you can sit on the floor ok. Make him a bowling set out of something. Make a scavenger hunt challenge.