anyone else with a short-tempered 4yo?

[SweetPotato]

My intense little dd just has such a temper lately- particulary with her same-age friends. If one of them says something that she doesn't like she immediately goes bananas (she used to be one of the more aggressive toddlers, now is getting that under control, but responds very strongly verbally-- then cries and tells me -loudly- that they hirt her feelings and she hates them, etc.) I'm a bit wary of hanging around with friends right now because of it- though she does great with older or much younger kids. I've also noticed that, in the two classes she takes, she really enjoys interacting with the teachers, but doesn't seem to have made any "friends" or interacted much with the other 3-4yos at all. I know some of this is temperament, but am curious if anyone else has dealt with it- when/did it get better, etc. It's got to be stressful getting so hurt/angry so easily-- I wish I could help her learn how to lighten up a little and realize that a small difference of opinions isn't the end of the world (nor is it a huge, personal attack on her!)

[red17]

I have 1 4.5 yr old DD. She is being forced to learn how to handle herself when others are mean to her. So that she could learn how to lose to others, I make her win games... I don't lose to her on purpose. Now I have to give her some "wins" in other ways, but in games that she is likely to play with others she needs to learn to lose gracefully. That is not always an easy thing for a very competitive adult to learn, so I did cut her some slack. But, we've been "learning" this skill for over 6 months so there are not many times that I "Let" her win now. Over this time, she has had to learn how to handle her anger, frustration, and sad emotions.

Have you tried to play with her in ways that will build up her abilities to handle feeling hurt? Feeling sad is a kind of hurt that children have challenges with all the time in school. They were not picked first... they were picked last... or the most hurtful phrase kids say to one another -- "I'm not playing with you" -- are all challenging for many children to learn how to handle. Has she had a lot of particularly painful schoolyard experiences of late?