constancy of friends through the years?

[flitters]

Hi.

I have been wondering lately about something parents of older children who learn outside of school would be able to answer.

I'm curious if kids who don't attend school have more constant friends through the years, or if their friends change a lot as they grow. Ds is only 5 right now, and the only real changes in friendship we have experienced were when we moved in 2007.

I know my close friends changed over the years I was in school, with 3 or so remaining constant through the social ebb and flow. I think some of this was natural from divergent interests (and a large social pool) and some was more related to social patterns that are, from what I hear, pretty specific to schooling and, from what I've observed, pretty uncommon among home/un/whatever schoolers.

Did your kids' friends change a lot through the years? If so, what brought on those changes? Are they still close with the friends that were dear to them at, say, age 5?

Really, I'm just curious about this. As I envision ds growing, of course I (very happily) envision his friends growing right along with him and remaining an integral part of our lives. But when I think about my own experience growing up, it was pretty different from that.

[Lillian J]

I really think it's like anything else - some friends are constant and some change. My son was good friends into the teens with someone who had been his best buddy from back in playgroup before preschool. But we moved, we started homeschooling, and his friend was becoming quite a social jock in high school, with all the social trends and stuff that caused them to just drift apart. He had a best buddy from age four next door, though, who attended school, and they're still good friends in their young adult years. He had another friend from the age of 8 who is also still a close friend. And he has a circle of old homeschooling friends who ebb and flow but still stay connected almost like family - they really value their friendships with one another. He's drifted apart from some friends who went to school, though - they got along well enough, but just got into different interests. It amounts to a combination of changing lifestyles, chemistry, geographical proximity, changing interests, boyfriends and girlfriends coming in and going out, school or job commitments, personal changes - just like kids who meet through school. There's really no figuring it - he's stayed close with some I never thought he'd be friends with longterm, and drifted apart from some I thought he'd be friends with forever. In fact, I just had friends here for dinner tonight who are the parents of a former close friend he hasn't seen in years - I'm sure they would get along just fine, but they just don't have much in common to draw them together any longer. Lillian

[flitters]

Thanks.