How to wean a 28-month-old sensitive child?

[joynsyde]

I just found out I'm pregnant with a second child. (Not too excited about that, but that's not the point of this post!...)

My question is how to go about weaning my 28-month-old boy. He is a great kid, but he's pretty sensitive, and he likes his routines. (which makes me a bit crazy, because I'm not a routine person.) I know he doesn't "need" the boob anymore, but that's the only way he'll go to bed for me. Well, now my boobs are swollen, and they hurt when he nurses. Plus, in a few months my stomach will be too big for him to be able to nurse. So I want to wean him now. I have no idea how to do it in a way that won't damage his emotions. Things I've read, and people I've talked with, say that eventually the kid just moves on by himself, but my boy isn't showing any signs of wanting to move on. At least not as far as I can tell.

Any advice? Thanks!

[annettemarie]

*hug* I'm going to move this to Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy. We have several weaning threads going on there right now that might help.

[pbjmama]

So is he only nursing to go to sleep? If so I would start by limiting the time he nurses, you could start with 3 minutes, then 2, then one song, to the count of 10. The first few nights of no nursing might be difficult but you can offer snuggles or something else in the place of nursing. You could also try getting your partner or family member involved with bed time and see what happens. You don't mention how far along you are but some children don't care as much about nursing when there is no/very little milk and he may naturally decrease nursing on his own.

I can't tell from your post if you want to be done with nursing "I know he doesn't "need" the boob anymore" or if you feel that pregnancy means you have to be done "in a few months my stomach will be too big for him to be able to nurse". Either way there are mamas here who will support you. If you want to be done it is okay. If you just don't know how you will nurse as your body changes we can help you with that too.

[joynsyde]

Yeah, he only nurses to go to sleep. Occasionally he wants it first thing in the morning, or sometimes when he's upset. But it's down to nap time and bedtime, as a general rule.

I think I'm ready to be done. I like how convenient it is to calm him down, but it has gotten old, and I sense that he doesn't really need it anymore. He has found other ways to cope with stress, and he has gotten to the point where he doesn't ask to nurse every time he gets hurt or upset, etc.

And my boobs hurt. I'm five days past my missed period, so I'm freshly pregnant. I just took the pregnancy test tonight, and it was a strong positive result. No question that I'm pregnant.

Thanks for the advice on how to wean. I'll try to figure out other things to do at bedtime. His language skills are not very advanced, because we're a bilingual family, so I never really know how much he actually understands of what I say. So some kind of physical activity rather than a song or book might be more at his level. (?)
Nursing sessions have been shorter lately anyway, because it's been uncomfortable for me.

I'm new at the whole parenting world, and both pregnancies were accidents, so I can't claim to have the best attitude about being a Mom. I'm coping pretty well, though, I think, overall.

[pbjmama]

Since he is nursing 2x a day I would limit time on both but just drop one at a time. You could probably be done nursing in a few weeks or less that way. You may find that the breast pain gets better too. It seems to vary alot!

I think you may underestimate his receptive language even in a bilingual home. If he can follow simple directions like bring me the ball and go sit down he can probably understand basic limits on nursing. You know what works best for your son, I'm sure you will have it figured out quickly even if it takes trying a few different methods.