I'm the only mama in the world...

[EmilyVorpe]

That can't handle her 5 year old.
He ANNOYS me! He has to be involved in EVERY. SINGLE. CONVERSATION. regardless of who it with, what its about, when its happening. I have tried teaching him the manners of not interrupting, staying out of serious conversation, etc. But it doesn't matter. And it's not like I can go an entire day, every day without talking to anyone but him. I have dh to talk to, and the other 3 kids I have. He can be in the other room and screaming at me to be involved in conversations I'm having.
He also is trying to be cute...ALL THE TIME. He's the oldest, and we do make sure to give him a LOT of attention, per every "Wise parent" ahead of me that says he would feel left out if I don't do that. So we take him to movies, let him play special games, get him rewards, praise him for everything he does great. Sooooo when he does the same things the babies do, try to play with the baby toys, and talk baby talk....well, it gets old. and it's not cute. It's awful. He used to act like a big boy, so its not like he never has.... he just doesn't now.
Also, he's learned to read. We listen to him read several books a day. When its time for him to have bedroom time, he will read so loudly that it wakes the younger kids up...and when we have company, he will go and grab books and start reading while they are trying to talk about things. We've explained to him that everyone would love to hear him read, dance, sing, dress up, etc...but that it can't be all him, all the time. THAT makes it worse...but I just don't know what to do!!! I want to think he's adorable in every single way...but he's just so.... so.... LOOK AT ME... all the time...
It doesn't help that he has a speech issue. We're working on getting him back into speech therapy (his school says he doesn't qualify, but we know he NEEDS it). When he's interrupting CONSTANTLY, its one sentence to start...but it lasts a while to get out, and then when we don't (or someone else doesn't) understand him, he has to repeat it several times. It's so frustrating for everyone involved. He is unaware of his speech issue.
Oh....and he's CONSTANTLY standing in his doorway of his bedroom to play and be VERY LOUD so that I have to watch him play. We've tried different toys, crafts, coloring books, new books, legos, older kid toys, everything....he just can't stand it when we aren't paying attention to him all the time.
Any ideas? advice? anything? I know I sound awful....

[koalove]

you arent aweful mama. my ds, 5, can be very annoying too. we follow the positive dicipline philosophy in our house and part of that if figuring out why our kids are misbehaving, which can be one a few things. one of them is undue attention. sounds like your kiddo is doing that. my ds is also an undue attention child. you can tell they are in that mode by how you feel. are you feeling annoyed, worried, guilty, or irritated? do you react by coaxing, reminding, doing things for your child he can do for himself? does your child stop for a short time but start again later with same or different behavior? does he stop when given one on one attention? if so, thats undue attention. the belief behind the childs behavor is that he only belongs when hes being noticed or getting special service. im only important im keeping you busy with me." your child needs you to redirct him by involving him in a useful task. avoid special service. say something like "i love you and i will spend time listening to you read in 1 hour" say it only 1 time and then act. plan your special time. set up routines and take time for training. explain the consequence (when you read so loud in the doorway, it wakes up the family. you will need to leave your door closed when you are reading) and make sure it is logical. if any of this makes sense to you you might like the book called children: the challenge by rudolph druikers. personally, when ds annoys the heck out of me with his endless need for attention, i give him a job. he loves to spray and scrub the floor. he loves to wash the baby bottles. he cn fold easy things like towels and wash cloths. he also likes to mop the garage. can you make a few jobs for your ds so he feels involved with you without actually driving you nuts? on days when ds is really annoying me, i simply have time where he has the option to play outside, or in his room with the door shut for 30 minute periods. i also have quiet times, where he may only whisper really important needs to me, but otherwise, its quiet book reading, coloring, tag books, play doh, etc. we have quiet time every day. my brain NEEDS it. i realize you hae other kids too so it might seem unfair to tell him to be quiet but not the others. im not sure of their ages but hes perfectly capeable at 5, of understanding that thy arent equal. my ds knows he is able to be quiet where as his little brother is not, so we dont ask him to be. hope some of this helps. it wont last forever...i think its a 5 year old thing to tell the truth. they are really curious and it can really push buttons. hang in there!

[staceychev]

I know it's a book that's recommended a lot around here, so it's possible you've read it, but have you taken a look at Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's Raising Your Spirited Child? I just picked it up because my daughter's really intense in some other ways, and it's really helping me to adjust how I view her, along with giving me strategies to help her learn to notice and correct her own behavior and reactions.

I also hope some moms with more kids answer your question, because I wonder how much of it has to do with having four little ones so closely spaced. My sister-in-law had four kids in five and a half years, and two of her children were very demanding of attention when they were younger.

[sbgrace]

One of my (just turned six) year olds is very much like that. It gets so old and he seems starved for attention and he certainly isn't or at least shouldn't be! I don't have answers but no you aren't the only one.