....as honestly as possible.
I haven't decided on a UC, but it appears that it might be a real possibility for us. I'm hoping I can express some concerns here and get some honest feed back and information.
My last birth was a 'natural' one in a hospital with midwives. It was a water birth and was labeled a beautiful birth by the attending midwife. It was intense and empowering. However, the more time that has gone by, the more I realize how much it wasn't at all what I wanted. I was induced with prostoglandin gel because my DH at the time was in Iraq and only home for a week to see the birth. It was 20 hours of 1cm-6cm. After much pressure and threats from hospital staff I was given a second dose of the gel and then went from 6cm to holding my baby in 45 minutes. Afterward I told myself I would never birth in a hospital again. I had an IV of antibiotics. I wasn't allowed in the tub until my water broke over the toilet and I finally jumped in myself (against the wishes of my midwife) to push my baby out. The midwife did a 'stretch' of my cervix to further dilate me against my will and even as I was shouting 'no'. All in all, I don't want to do it again.
In a perfect world, I would love to have a homebirth with a hands off midwife in attendance, my DP, DD, and my mom who is a doula. I'm going through a divorce, am unemployed and am very broke right now. I've looked into birth centers in my area and they are all booked for Aug when I am due. So that option is out. I haven't started phoning midwives yet, so I can't say for certain, but I'm guessing we'll need to save up around $3,000 in 5 months. Next week I'll be calling around and trying to find a midwife who will work with us financially, but that option is looking more and more unlikely. DP and I sat down and went over finances and the absolute most we could save up is $1500. That is if we literally put away every extra penny. So naturally my mind has gone into perperation mode. Worse case scenario is that I'll end up having to chose between UC and a hospital birth.
I'm naturally being drawn to wanting to UC. I trust my body, and the birth process. I know things can go wrong, but I also think that society makes birth out to be such a high risk scary event. I think it is much more risky to get in my car than it would be for me to UC. Yet I drive everyday for reasons that are not even close to necessary.
On the other hand, there are reasons I haven't decided to just go for it. First of all, my family is not supportive of it. My mom is a doula and is extremely supportive of a home birth and has said she would love to be there for this one as well......as long is there is a midwife present. My sister is also really supportive of natural birth and is planning a homebirth herself, but holds the same view that UC is unnecessarily risky. They both feel it would be irresponsible on my part to risk my life and the life of my baby to save some money. I obviously disagree, but I have to admit they bring up some valid concerns.
The two major concerns that they have are shoulder distocia and hemorage. They say that both of these concerns would be something that would go unnoticed until it is too late. I guess I'm wondering what my actual chances of something like that happening would be. I know it's a touchy subject, so I hope it's okay to ask this here. As I understand it there are factors that play a part in things of that nature. Yes, it can happen with no warning, for no reason I suppose, but I'd assume the chances for that would be extremely low??? I guess I feel like I've already had one vaginal birth with no problems or hang up pushing, even though it was induced. I also seem to carry small babies. DD was only 6'4 and this one seems to be measuring similar to the way she did. I just don't feel that worried about it. I know a lot about birth, and it's not like I would go into this blindly or unprepared. I also don't feel like I HAVE to stick to it. I would plan on having a back up midwife or OB that I trust. Doing regular prenatal care up until delivery. I wouldn't be apposed to going in if things just didn't feel right, or if a problem presented. I think in most transfer cases, there was plenty of time to make that decision.
My issue is that if I decide to go this route, I would really want the support. I'm close to my family, and I don't know if I can argue about this with them for 5 more months. We talk a lot about pregnancy and birth, so it's not like I could easily chose to just not tell them. I don't want negative thoughts pounded into my head. I don't want to go into the birth expecting the worst case scenario. Also, I really want my mom there. She was such a big help last time. Especially if I don't have a midwife, I'm going to need someone to be willing to grab supplies as needed, water or food, or help me change positions, or help take care of DD, take pictures and video. I have no idea who else I could ask to do that. All of my friends are really mainstream and I can't see having to educate someone enough about what to expect.
I'm sorry for such a long post. I'm mostly getting it all out and looking for some feedback, or btdt advice. I'm hoping to be able to talk about the risks that UC presents and how to handle them if they pop up. For me, going to the hospital presents a whole new mess of risks. Risks that I'm not prepared to have to deal with again.
I haven't decided on a UC, but it appears that it might be a real possibility for us. I'm hoping I can express some concerns here and get some honest feed back and information.
My last birth was a 'natural' one in a hospital with midwives. It was a water birth and was labeled a beautiful birth by the attending midwife. It was intense and empowering. However, the more time that has gone by, the more I realize how much it wasn't at all what I wanted. I was induced with prostoglandin gel because my DH at the time was in Iraq and only home for a week to see the birth. It was 20 hours of 1cm-6cm. After much pressure and threats from hospital staff I was given a second dose of the gel and then went from 6cm to holding my baby in 45 minutes. Afterward I told myself I would never birth in a hospital again. I had an IV of antibiotics. I wasn't allowed in the tub until my water broke over the toilet and I finally jumped in myself (against the wishes of my midwife) to push my baby out. The midwife did a 'stretch' of my cervix to further dilate me against my will and even as I was shouting 'no'. All in all, I don't want to do it again.
In a perfect world, I would love to have a homebirth with a hands off midwife in attendance, my DP, DD, and my mom who is a doula. I'm going through a divorce, am unemployed and am very broke right now. I've looked into birth centers in my area and they are all booked for Aug when I am due. So that option is out. I haven't started phoning midwives yet, so I can't say for certain, but I'm guessing we'll need to save up around $3,000 in 5 months. Next week I'll be calling around and trying to find a midwife who will work with us financially, but that option is looking more and more unlikely. DP and I sat down and went over finances and the absolute most we could save up is $1500. That is if we literally put away every extra penny. So naturally my mind has gone into perperation mode. Worse case scenario is that I'll end up having to chose between UC and a hospital birth.
I'm naturally being drawn to wanting to UC. I trust my body, and the birth process. I know things can go wrong, but I also think that society makes birth out to be such a high risk scary event. I think it is much more risky to get in my car than it would be for me to UC. Yet I drive everyday for reasons that are not even close to necessary.
On the other hand, there are reasons I haven't decided to just go for it. First of all, my family is not supportive of it. My mom is a doula and is extremely supportive of a home birth and has said she would love to be there for this one as well......as long is there is a midwife present. My sister is also really supportive of natural birth and is planning a homebirth herself, but holds the same view that UC is unnecessarily risky. They both feel it would be irresponsible on my part to risk my life and the life of my baby to save some money. I obviously disagree, but I have to admit they bring up some valid concerns.
The two major concerns that they have are shoulder distocia and hemorage. They say that both of these concerns would be something that would go unnoticed until it is too late. I guess I'm wondering what my actual chances of something like that happening would be. I know it's a touchy subject, so I hope it's okay to ask this here. As I understand it there are factors that play a part in things of that nature. Yes, it can happen with no warning, for no reason I suppose, but I'd assume the chances for that would be extremely low??? I guess I feel like I've already had one vaginal birth with no problems or hang up pushing, even though it was induced. I also seem to carry small babies. DD was only 6'4 and this one seems to be measuring similar to the way she did. I just don't feel that worried about it. I know a lot about birth, and it's not like I would go into this blindly or unprepared. I also don't feel like I HAVE to stick to it. I would plan on having a back up midwife or OB that I trust. Doing regular prenatal care up until delivery. I wouldn't be apposed to going in if things just didn't feel right, or if a problem presented. I think in most transfer cases, there was plenty of time to make that decision.
My issue is that if I decide to go this route, I would really want the support. I'm close to my family, and I don't know if I can argue about this with them for 5 more months. We talk a lot about pregnancy and birth, so it's not like I could easily chose to just not tell them. I don't want negative thoughts pounded into my head. I don't want to go into the birth expecting the worst case scenario. Also, I really want my mom there. She was such a big help last time. Especially if I don't have a midwife, I'm going to need someone to be willing to grab supplies as needed, water or food, or help me change positions, or help take care of DD, take pictures and video. I have no idea who else I could ask to do that. All of my friends are really mainstream and I can't see having to educate someone enough about what to expect.
I'm sorry for such a long post. I'm mostly getting it all out and looking for some feedback, or btdt advice. I'm hoping to be able to talk about the risks that UC presents and how to handle them if they pop up. For me, going to the hospital presents a whole new mess of risks. Risks that I'm not prepared to have to deal with again.
and that moving around and changing positions also helps. I would definately start researching on MDC and the internet. They will send you in a good direction for other resources.The Stickies in the UC forum are a good place to start and 
