40 weeks... still here.. still nothing going on.. now anemic...

[judybean]

*sigh*

I had a not-so-super day today and wanted to bawl my eyes out (probably should have just to get it out of the way! but instead I tried to hold it in while seeing the midwife)...

First, the good parts... baby has, indeed, descended on down (two weeks ago, he/she was not low at all)... I've only gained *gasp, don't hate me* two pounds this entire pregnancy (I did drop about 10 at the beginning though, so I gained it back and then two more.. but still.. only two pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight)... I've had no swelling whatsoever and can still take off/on my wedding rings even. .. No protein or leukocytes in my urine (I've sometimes had that issue.. but no more!)... ... AND, my midwife (and her two understudies) love looking at the goodies I sew... and the midwife even commissioned me to make two dresses for her granddaughters ...

But... Then, I did EXACTLY what I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE and had a vag check. The midwife really could care less if I did or not, but said some like to know or at least have the option. I wasn't going to. I really wasn't. And then... ugh.. then I caved.

But of course, nothing was going on... and I'm pretty sure I KNEW there was no dilation. She said about 25% effaced... so that's *maybe* something.. but.. not really *sigh* I wanted to slap myself after that. Because I know that it really means NOTHING! I still COULD go into labor tonight just because things are funny like that! But.. there's that crazy mindgame stuff and I just feel like I've gone through some prodromal labor and whatnot and all for naught. Just when I think my body is doing what it's supposed to... I feel like it's failing me. (Or rather, that I failed it three times before since I had hospital inductions).

I'm 40 weeks today.

Oh.. and my hemoglobin levels were 11. So.. I'm anemic on top of everything. ... The midwife was actually happy that thus far nothing is really going on cervix-wise though because then I will hopefully have time to bring those levels up (I got Floradix, a different prenatal that my midwife recommended and said has easily absorbable iron in it...).

My mom, bless her wonderful heart, just cooked up liver and onions for me to try. I. about. barfed. No offense to those who like it (I'm sure it could be great)... but I'm not much of a meat-eater at all anyway (I was a vegetarian for seven years... but eat *some* meat on occasion now... just not much because I really don't like it). For dinner tonight I made egg salad sandwiches with some chopped spinach in there as well. And had mandarin oranges with it (for the Vit C to help with iron absorbtion!).

Sooooo..... For whatever reason, everything all together made me want to bawl. I just want to go into labor on my own for once. One. Freaking. Time. Do you hear that, universe?! Work with me here!!

/end rant.

(thanks for listening)

[organicmom3]

Oh, you poor thing! I don't know what to say.....,
But I WILL say a PRAYER for you and the baby!
Best Wishes!

[mum5]

Now liver and onions for someone who is not a big meat eater, and pg to top it all off, well, wow, you were brave!!
Yuck, is all I can say!

I hear ya on the cervix check. I am hesitant to have one done, just coz I find them uncomfortable, and I think they are unnessesary, but it is always kind of fun to find out if something is actually happening down there!

Oh, and I have already bawled at the m/w appt, not even someone whom I have an long long term established relationship with. She was actually new at my 1st ever appt, but I totally have this rapport and vibe w/ her now. She is way cool. I totally recommend crying, it takes a load off!!

I am glad that everything else is healthy, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you to go into spontaneous labour by yourself.
Big Hugs

[Deir]

liver..............YUCK!!!!!!

Don't get discouraged yet!!

[wendy1163]

do you have a cast iron skillet? I am not a meat eater, but we cook just about everything in an iron skillet, and that really helps boost your iron levels. mine have actually gone UP during pregnancy. tomatoes and other acidic stuff is best at drawing out that extra iron.

hang in there, sister! keep reminding yourself of all those positive things that happened today. and you can always gloat about only gaining two pounds

[Juvysen]

I prefer my liver as pate *way, WAY* tastier than straight up. Try molassas cookies, too... it's always nice to have an excuse to eat cookies

Sorry you had a rough visit.

25% effaced is better than nothing! Keep up the EPO!! You're getting there! (probably safe to say you could even use a bit more...)

I had an "ruh-roh" moment at my home visit when they (well, the student midwife was) were checking the baby's position and weren't sure where the baby's head was... turns out it's just at a weird angle and my belly's so big it was hard for them to get to, but I'm not much up for baby's head being off-kilter when I'm trying to push it out! She was considering doing a vaginal exam so she could figure it out, though... i was on the fence, b/c I kinda wanna know what she thinks about how dilated I am, and I kinda don't... so I know exactly how you feel.

Anyway, sending you labor vibes!

[Plummeting]

I'm so sorry, mama! I hope your week gets better. I know I've mentioned it about 100 times in different threads, but just in case you didn't see or remember, I delivered DD less than 24 hours after my midwife told me I wasn't at all dilated or at all effaced and DD hadn't dropped. She even told me she wasn't going to cancel her mini-vaca for me, since she was quite sure I wasn't going into labor any time soon. So it could still happen at any minute for you!

[Bethla]

Just keep repeating to yourself, "I will not be pregnant forever!"

I've been eating a lot of spinach salads lately...don't know how you can handle liver!

[judybean]

And now I'm not so sure the loose bowels are anything more than illness. It's been four? five? days now and I'm starting to not feel so great. blergh.

But, so thankful that nothing else major is going on. I do need to count my blessings still.. so I'm working on that (sometimes those 'blessings' are just hard to see.. lol)

[kanga1622]

Today is my "due" date and after not having a single BH contrax, I started with contrax on Friday night. They work for a little bit and then just stop. It's driving me nuts this weekend because I don't have anything to keep my mind off of them.

My house is clean, laundry is done, and I've spent way too much time on the Internet trying to keep my mind busy so my body can just relax and let the baby work.

My one saving grace is that I haven't had a cervix check yet so at least that's not weighing on my mind - I think I'd go nuts if I knew that I wasn't changing at all.

[moonshoes]

awww, so sorry mama. Praying things start moving along for you!

[josie423]

I know your history, but honestly wouldn't place to much stock in the cervical check. Mine did nothing before I went into labor with my son and daughter. Your baby has descended, which is great!

Now with this one, lots of prodromal labor at 36 weeks and 1-2 cms! This time I'll probably end up go to 41 or 42 weeks.

I don't really know what to say to make you feel better, the last weeks are so incredibly hard! But here's a . Go have a good cry, take a warm bath or something calming and hash this all out in your mind. You don't want any mental blocks.

[mama kk]

That is great news that the baby has descended!
Those last month/labor mind games are enough to drive someone crazy. Maybe you could try to draw/write a visualization of your fantasy labor and include tons of positive statements about what you do want to happen and when? That seemed to work for me both times, but who knows, it could be all just genetics...

Either way I am praying for you and that baby to get begin your labor on your own! (and soon!)

[Right of Passage]

The baby is getting lower that is progress! everything will be ok, hang in there

[judybean]

Thank you so much, mamas. Your kind words and support and encouragement have meant more to me in the time since I posted this than you could ever know.

I know I'll make it. I know that soon I'll forget these last few days that seemed to drag on for ages because soon there WILL be a beautiful baby in my arms... and I KNOW this.. but it doesn't make TODAY any easier

I'm very blessed to at least have my body be so physically strong. I still feel quite amazing (aches? pains? sure.. but I still wore heels to church today... because I could ... and honestly, I DO feel pretty great overall!)... it's just the mental side that's not feeling quite as strong today.

So.. I think I'm going to sew. I'm going to finish up a baby quilt top I put together what seems like ages ago. It's totally girly.. so probably the moment I finish it I'll have a boy ..lol .. but I'm okay with that too

In case you want to see other baby ventures I've worked on lately (like some girly clothes I made a few days ago), they're on my blog... http://justkeepsewing.blogspot.com .. the quilt top is somewhere in there too!

[mamacatsbaby]

Just sending you some love. Definitely have a good cry if you can. Be easy on yourself okay?

[MiaMama]

Originally Posted by judybean

I'm very blessed to at least have my body be so physically strong. I still feel quite amazing (aches? pains? sure.. but I still wore heels to church today... because I could ... and honestly, I DO feel pretty great overall!)... it's just the mental side that's not feeling quite as strong today.

O..M...G...

That is awesome. I think I'd fall flat on my face.

[anjanetteopal]

Hopefully two words of encouragement:

My doula just shared with me that she was still "high and tight" two days *after* her due date with her *second* pregnancy and had the baby girl after 5 hours of labor the next day.

And I've been anemic too, in the 10.5 range and started taking Floradix. Was up to 11 within a week. My doc is actually fine with 11 - that's higher than where I was last time - as long as I don't tear too badly or have a cesarean. He says women do fine at 11. Get your platelets checked if you are concerned - if they are normal you'll replenish your supply quickly - and consider taking liquid chlorophyll (a blood builder) as well.

Both Floradix and Chlorophyll are great to have on hand after labor in general for getting back on your feet. A friend took both right after her miscarriage and felt an immediate release from fatigue.

[elmh23]

If it makes you feel better, on Saturday when I saw my midwife I was 1cm, not effaced at all and baby was at -2. My water broke about 11 hours later and ds was born Sunday just 26 hours after that appointment.

And I'm always anemic. Floradix is good stuff if you can stomach it. This time I couldn't because of the heartburn, so I ended up on iron pills that I take with a Vit C pill. Make sure you aren't eating dairy when you take the iron. Calcium blocks the iron absorption.

[bc1995]

I understand your frustration. I have been there with each one of mine. I did have my cervix checked when I had my Group B swab and my cervix was so high she couldn't even reach it. I have declined checks since then because I know how my body is, and there is likely nothing going on. It felt like the whole world was ready to give up on me going in to labor with dd1. Finally at 41wk 6days, I did and she was born 1 1/2 hours after I knew I was for sure in labor. Trust in your body. Sounds like you are like me and just have to cook them longer, so your body is not in any hurry to start dialating yet. That is awesome about your weight gain and wearing heals to church. Totally jealous!!