Breaking point

[Ceinwen]

I've reached it.

I literally can't do this anymore. I've got threads (older ones) over in Special Needs Parenting about my two year old dd.

This week I'm caving - she's going in daycare full time. Right now she only goes when I work (I'm an RN, so it's shift work, no real schedule), but I can't do it anymore.

Work, kids, work, kids, work, kids. If she was an easy going toddler (like my seven year old dd was) it'd be a cake walk.

This kid screams and fights from morning till night. I find myself crying every day by 5:30 AM in frustration. It's not right, and it's not healthy for me.

Apparently she's fine at daycare, gets along with the other kids, participates, etc... so - she's going. I'll send her in the morning from 8:30 (when I drop older dd off at school) until after lunch (so around 12:30).

I just need the break, or I'm going to break. It's just too much. I'm too tired to function effectively as a mother or a nurse (or a gf) and I'm tired of crying everyday.

Officially giving up my parent of the year award. Daycare on non-working days...

[NolaRiordan]

I think this sounds like a wise decision for your family. Your DD will be well taken care of. You can get a break to get some rest and get your energy back up which is the best thing for everyone. Don't beat yourself up about this. Enjoy some time on your own.

[robinchap1]

You are NOT a bad mom. Being a good parent is figuring out what works best for your child, yourself, your family. What works for one child or one family does not necessarily work for another. If she is happy and successful in daycare and you get some time to care for yourself and regenerate, then you are doing something that is beneficial for both of you. And the time you have together will probably be more peaceful.

Please don't don't beat yourself up!

Hugs.

[waterproofmascara]

My dd is very difficult to deal with at home as well (but a perfect, rule-bound child at school), and she is 8 now. Honestly, if I could find a year round school I would enroll her. She thrives in a structured environment where everything is the same every day, and I cannot do that at home.

I had these grand visions of homeschooling, but she made it obvious from the start that she needs a break from me and my haphazard schedules, and traditional daycare/school was the way to go.

Don't feel bad. Like the pp's said, being a good parent is doing what is best for your child. That's what you are doing.

[MissLotus]

I think being a good parent is about making sure your child is happy and you are happy (so that you can continue to be an affective parent). If she is happy at the daycare, and you are overwhelmed, then what a great solution! The solution may not be your ideal, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

[buckeye_bebe]

You don't get stripped of your parent of the year reward for protecting your own emotional and physical health. Let me look for the rule book, its around here somewhere. I think there is a ruling about adding a ribbon or stripe for recognizing your own needs are just as important.

[Satori]

No guilt trip here, I send my 3 yr old to daycare/nursing care full day 2 days a week to give me a break. She's a handful and she and my older dd fight like cats and dogs all day long. Those 2 days are my sanity days, still have 1 kid to deal with but at least its not the constant fighting/screaming/bickering.

[chaoticzenmom]

Originally Posted by buckeye_bebe

You don't get stripped of your parent of the year reward for protecting your own emotional and physical health. Let me look for the rule book, its around here somewhere. I think there is a ruling about adding a ribbon or stripe for recognizing your own needs are just as important.

[Theia]

Originally Posted by buckeye_bebe

You don't get stripped of your parent of the year reward for protecting your own emotional and physical health. Let me look for the rule book, its around here somewhere. I think there is a ruling about adding a ribbon or stripe for recognizing your own needs are just as important.

I'll third that.

[Goodmom2008]

Giving you back your parent of the year award.

It takes a good parent to recognize when they have had enough and need a break. No break equals burnout. BTDT, does not make for good parenting.

[ArtsyMomma]

I think it's a great decision! If I could afford it - I would send my lil guy to daycare or nursery school! Last year, he and DD#2 went to a great child care center while I was attending school and I enrolled them on days I didn't have classes. The reality was....if they were home with me...they would be playing together while I cleaned, or studied, or they would get dragged along while I ran errands. At daycare they got to do all sorts of cool stuff! They fingerpainted with the lil guy, DD#2 got to do tons of crafts! They took the kids on nature walks and on field trips around campus. The kids had a great time, and I had time to get all the 'grown-up stuff' out of the way. If they were home with me, they would have just been bored.

[meemee]

a wise parent is one who meets BOTH needs. needs of the child and needs of the parent.

i think we all do ourselves and our children a great disservice by putting too much of ourselves into our kids.

its time to take care of yourself. your dd is happy in DC.

i hope you get to do something nice for yourself when you DO get the time.