1 year old playing in toilet at YMCA

[ms. pacman]

So my newly-turned 1 year old boy has a fascination with toilets, dropping things in them and trying to reach the water. So we keep the lids down, bathroom doors closed, etc. at home. This morning, as he was trying to stick his hands in the toilet while I was peeing, my 5 yr. old says that Friday while they were in the babysitting room at the Y, he went into the bathroom and was playing with the water in the low kid-sized toilet there. She says she brought him out, that the "grown-ups" just told my daughter to keep him out of the bathroom. They didn't tell me about it, or wash his hands, or anything.

I'm not the biggest germaphobe, though I do wash all their hands upon leaving the childcare room. I'm upset about it because he could have easier tipped over the side and gone in the toilet head first. And apparently they weren't watching him very closely, and didn't think to tell me about the incident.

We've only been members for about 6 weeks, and I do enjoy finally being able to work out and leave the kids in there for 45 min to an hour a couple of times a week. This latest incident was during the morning, where I have previously gone in the afternoons. Should I bring up the matter with the people at the front desk of the YMCA, or talk to childcare workers themselves? Also, I think there is a door to the bathroom area, and I'm peeved they didn't just close it. Thoughts?

[Latte Mama]

Heck yes I would bring it up! I mean sure, things happen but they should be told that the door needs to be closed, especially when there are babies in there. The handwashing thing is skeevy but the safety issue is priority.

[treegardner]

I agree, it needs to be brought up. That's a huge safety concern.

[Tigerchild]

How do you know they didn't wash his hands?

I would definitely bring it up. But honestly, I might start the conversation by saying, "I'm sorry I didn't give you guys a heads up, but DS is REALLY REALLY fascinated by toilets right now and I should have mentioned that so you could take some extra precautions."

I'm a little surprised that they have 1-5 year olds in the same room! But since that's the arrangment, I think to some degree there's not going to be iron clad control over the toilet at all times (since they need to have it easy accessible for the 3-5 year old toilet-using kids, for all that you know a kid could have left the door open for only a minute and your son ran in there. I know stuff like that happened a lot at our house, and I only had three kids very close in age to deal with).

So I wouldn't go nuclear on the people. I'd bring it up with them first. If you get a yawn reaction, then I'd take it higher to the YMCA building management. And you probably should disclose that fascination every time you drop off if there's new faces.

[Sharon, RN]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but... I left DS#1 alone with childcare at the "Y" gym once and swore I'd never do it again. I made it really clear that if he got upset (he was still a toddler) to call out for me, I'd be right there. It was only him and 1 other toddler. I worked out for about 1/2 hour. I don't know what the hell happened, but when I got back, he's SCREAMING, kids are knocking him over, etc... ALL the kids were in there, infants to school age, the poor woman working there (only 1) looked completely in over her head. When I asked why she didn't call out for me (from the door, and I did ask nicely) she told me she was too busy.

I talked to management about it, and their basic response was that it's drop-in care, they weren't concerned about (or required to follow) ratios for adults to children, and other than making sure that the person working in the childcare room didn't have a police record for abusing kids, then anyone could work in the childcare room- no previous experience or education necessary.

Oh, hell no.

Obviously, this may have been that particular Y. I don't know how they do it all over. But, that was it for me. And I see lots of threads about bad experiences with childcare at the Y gym (not necessarily camps or afterschool care).

OP: I'm so glad your ds wasn't hurt. Telling your 5 YO to watch him is unacceptable if they are accepting responsibility by offering childcare. Talk to management, and find out what their policies are. Hopefully they are better than what I learned!

[One_Girl]

I think you should talk to the person in charge of the childwatch at your Y. You can ask who that person is at the front desk. I have had great success doing this when I felt the staff was laxer than even a drop in childwatch area should be.

[Mylie]

I am going to make these suggestions very gently ...

I am in way downing your concerns but I read over your post several times and thought I would bring it up...They saw your little girl bring him out of the bathroom..Could they have been under the assumption that she took him in there with her? Maybe that is why they told her not to take him in there and why they didn't wash his hands or tell you..Could be they probably just don't know that he was playing in the toilet.?

I work the child watch at our Y a couple times a month for the free membership..We have a single bathroom that we are constantly closing the door to because the children constantly open it and leave it open...Once many years ago when I worked the daycare(which was the next room over)they had a child get in there and was playing in the toilet...They were busy and it happened fast..They did wash her hands and told mom..But they also put a post on the door that the door was to stay closed at all times after that.But the kids still leave it open and they are constantly closing it..

And PP is right...There is no stip on how many kids you can have in childwatch because it isn't licenced..It is just drop-in care..Parents are only supposed to leave their kids for up to two hours but some stay the whole four..It can get ungodly insane in there because as PP stated also it is for 6wks-12 years...We do have a gated off area for the babies but you can get tons of babies in there for one worker..It isn't right..And that is why I only work a few Saturdays a month..Not as busy..I would never work ours during the week..To wild..

I would just gently bring up the toilet situation to the childwatch teachers..Tell them that your 5 year old said he was playing in the toilet..Could be they don't have a clue..Say you understand as he is going through a stage but you wanted to discuss how working together you could make sure he can't get into the bathroom..Keeping door shut at all times ect...

Hope you get it all worked out...

[ms. pacman]

Thanks for the input! I am not really a confrontational person, and I definitely won't go charging in causing a scene. It's just scary to me that he could have tipped into the toilet without anyone knowing.

I know they didn't wash his hands because my daughter is very detailed in her descriptions, and I tend to believe her. She says she saw him go in there, that she went to him and he had his hands in the toilet water. She led him out and the lady told her not to let him in there anymore. I guess my point is that if they didn't know he was in there, they should have known. And if they did know, they should have washed his hands and told me about it. I believe that if you have a job you should have responsibility for what you are paid to do. If you a lifeguard, you should be watching the water. If you are watching kids, watch the kids. No matter what, I think they should have closed the bathroom door.

I understand they have a busy time of things, and there are kids from baby on up to 12 yrs. old. I just have been really enjoying the brief times when I can be on my own to work out, without the 3 kids

I will definitely mention the Toilet Fascination and the bathroom door next time I bring them in.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

[bodhitree]

OP, I too would be upset by the situation you describe, and it sounds like you've got a good plan for dealing with it.

I know this is totally off-topic, but I just wanted to respond because I don't want people to think that all Ys are horrible places to leave one's children. At the one we go to, there is a half-wall between the check-in area and the main part of the room where the kids play, and that keeps the little ones from getting into the bathroom without an adult. They take the older kids into another room to play so that the littles have their own space. I can watch on the video monitor from the room with the cardio machines, so I can see how my DD is doing while I work out. The workers spend a lot of time holding her and paying attention to her, and I trust them to come get me if she gets really upset. I've actually seen them come get other moms before. Anyway, I know it's off-topic, and certainly some Ys might not be as good, but I wanted to note my positive experiences just as a counterbalance to what PPs had to say. Honestly, life is so much better for us since we joined the Y. Getting to work out and getting a little break from the baby once in a while helps me be a much happier mama.

[nextcommercial]

I'm pretty sure that if they'd known he was playing in the toilet, they would have washed his hands. They probably thought she took him in there.

I would mention that he likes to play in toilets and ask if they can close the bathroom door.

Also try to pick a time of day that isn't as crowded. (like a yoga class time, might have lots of kids in the daycare) and see if that helps for the supervision part.

It's hard to keep track at ALL times. Even moms lose track of the child, and the kid gets in the bathroom.

[leighi123]

I worked at a Y, and there is no way I would EVER leave my ds at one.

I was bringing him to work with me, they had 3 rooms seperated by low walls for the babies, 2-3yr olds and then the older kids. It was just chaos in there, and the girls in the baby room had no clue what to do with babies - they put ds in a stroller and shook it around to try and make him 'go to sleep', he was crying b/c another baby just learning to walk fell over on top of him (he was 8months old - that was the first time he was ever in a stroller!).

Plus the toys were all gross, we were supposed to just squirt them with bleech at nap time, which made the whole room smell like bleach, and ds wrecked all his clothes w/bleach stains.

[nelson]

I kid you not, everyone I know who drops their kids at a Y daycare center while they work out, has had a bad experience. My Bro's baby was left to scream wrapped in a blanket in his carseat, for the entire time he worked out. Other people I know talk about how they come to pick up their child and they are crying hysterically, by themselves, and no one bothered to go and get the parents. I wouldn't let my child near one of those drop ins until they were closer to 4 yrs. IMO

[Mandynee22]

Originally Posted by nelson

I kid you not, everyone I know who drops their kids at a Y daycare center while they work out, has had a bad experience. My Bro's baby was left to scream wrapped in a blanket in his carseat, for the entire time he worked out. Other people I know talk about how they come to pick up their child and they are crying hysterically, by themselves, and no one bothered to go and get the parents. I wouldn't let my child near one of those drop ins until they were closer to 4 yrs. IMO

I really think it depends on the individual Y. The one we go to is excellent. DS (3) loves to go there and would rather go to Childwatch than go swimming while DD has her class. He totally reports on when a baby cries and I ask "did you help him/her?" and he always tells me he didn't because "the girl" picked them up. They also limit the amount of kids at a time and there are huge windows around the entire room. Childwatch is fully visible from the lobby, the hallway to the gym, the hallway to the youth room and the hallway to downstairs.
It saddens me to think of all the Y drop in stories I see here. :-( We have never had a problem in the year we've been using it. DS absolutely loves it and, honestly, I think DD likes that I can watch her classes (rock wall climbing and swimming currently) without him as a distraction.

[ms. pacman]

Well, it's good to hear other people's experiences. I figure since I leave them there so infrequently (so far I'm averaging once a week for an hour), I'm not toooo worried about the quality of care, but the situation that I described in the OP worried me, because something serious could have happened so quickly. And I'm definitely NOT a hovering type of person. Well, I haven't been back since then, but I'll bring it up to them when I go. I really don't want to give this up!