Queer & Pregnant: March, April & May 2010 - Page 3

[jjnoho]

Originally Posted by Lyndzies

Re: darkening nips... I'm wondering if I'm going to "get out" of that lovely bodily change? I'm about 12 weeks, and no darkening yet. I'm very fair-skinned, though. Wonder if that has something to do w/ it??

oh yeah, good luck with that. i am fair skinned and have *really* dark nipples and *really* big too!

[wishin'&hopin']

Hugs to all of those "enjoying" the vagaries and uncertainties of the first trimester. Analyzing if I felt "sick enough" to still be pregnant was one of my least favorite components of those 13 weeks!

The shower was wonderful--we have amazing friends and family and not a sposie in sight! Plus, Sophie the giraffe (who smells strangely good) was gifted to our little one.

But the best part was being with so many of our best bests (all the folk I would want in my commune like manifestation of the kingdom of God ) who ranged from age 5 to age 75!

I have my big 35 week appointment this week with the o' so lovely GBS swab action and an ultrasound to check size and positioning. I trust the US for the position, but not the size--having had a friend who ended up with a section b/c the US guess was over 9lbs and they said that there was no way she'd be able to birth her big boy vaginally. He was a bit over 7lbs...so much for that! However, it will be fun to have a guess...

Third trimester exhaustion is no fun...and it's going to take me a bit to regroup from the DAYS of house guests. I feel like I could nap for another week...or 'till the baby's born! Just two weeks until he'd be considered full term!

[megan sacha]

Originally Posted by Lyndzies

Just chiming in that although DP and I have a civil union in New Jersey and technically we CAN put her on the birth cert as the other parent, our lawyer has advised us not to, since it may cause unnecessary confusion/hoop jumping when we go to do the 2nd parent adoption and have KD sever his parental rights. Just food for thought. We've been advised to just leave it blank, and we'll have an amended one reissued when the adoption is complete.

I think the key is to talk to a lawyer who is local as it really is different in each state. With DS we were advised NOT to leave it blank or fill in with donor's name or other moms name but to write "not named". In fact, I don't even know if you CAN leave it blank in our state, nor would I want to since someone could write something in that spot for you. Not likely but scary. This time we were told we can write her name in the spot and that it won't have any impact on the adoption.

[indigoscot]

yeah, what megan said. in our state we can't write anything on the birth cert - it would compromise the second parent adoption. speaking of which, ours for ds2 is coming up soon in april!! w00t!

g

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by Lyndzies

Papa - yay for 10 weeks! I've got my 12 week scan this Thursday... when's yours??

Next Tuesday, but I had a little scan to make sure everything is Ok today - I had some cause for concern, but it turned out to be not much of anything major, though they did find something like a subchorionic hematoma, a little pool of blood between the placenta and the uterus, though I think mine isn't actually anywhere near the placenta, so I'm confused but refusing to worry about it. (And instead constructing run-on sentences! Yay!)

I have three pics to share, Ember is measuring 11w0d, which is right on target.

First - alien baby playing peek-a-boo. I find this one somewhat hard to decipher, but it's the baby's head, seen from above, with hir hands in front of hir face.

Second - legs. This is the legs and feet and butt seen from below. I see something that makes me think male, but it's too early to really tell.

Third - feets. This one is my favourite pic ever.

The heartbeat was 157 bpm and the kiddo measures 4 cm - crazy to think that at the last u/s about five weeks ago the kiddo measured 4 mm, so ze has increased tenfold in length, and will repeat this feat between now and birth.

Lyndzies - I totally hear you on the first/second tri limbo!

I can't believe how quickly the first tri has zipped by....for a second, and then I remember that I got four "free" weeks, though for me, those weeks were caught up in my IVF cycle, so not as "free" as they could have been. My prediction for me is that the second tri is going to drag on and on forever....and the third is going to be even slower than that.

Meanwhile, I'm having my most nauseated week of this entire pregnancy so far. It's not been BAD this week - I still have yet to even come close to puking - but it's been worse than it has been for me. I am absolutely famished but have no appetite all at the same time. I have eaten an extraordinary amount of take-out and restaurant food - I think today is the first day I haven't eaten any take-out or gone out, but I think that's because I slept all day today. Like, I didn't get out of bed 'til 11 and I was back in by six. And then I napped most of the evening, and I'm fixing to go back to sleep by midnight.

I'm going to be away from the Internetzes for a few days, going to see my grams in Ottawa, and hopefully tell her about the baby while I'm there.

I wish I wasn't so tired, a seven hour drive when I haven't been awake seven consecutive hours in a while seems kind of daunting.

This week is proving that even an easy pregnancy (knock on wood! It has been easy so far!) is hard work.

[sunwillshine]

Originally Posted by megan sacha

I think the key is to talk to a lawyer who is local as it really is different in each state. With DS we were advised NOT to leave it blank or fill in with donor's name or other moms name but to write "not named". In fact, I don't even know if you CAN leave it blank in our state, nor would I want to since someone could write something in that spot for you. Not likely but scary. This time we were told we can write her name in the spot and that it won't have any impact on the adoption.

Originally Posted by indigoscot

yeah, what megan said. in our state we can't write anything on the birth cert - it would compromise the second parent adoption. speaking of which, ours for ds2 is coming up soon in april!! w00t!

g

Oops, what I meant by "blank" is that we were advised not to write anyone's name (DP's or donor's) on the line, as it would compromise the adoption (under the advice of our lawyer, in our state).

I agree w/ Megan; the key is definitely to have a lawyer who understands local family law to provide advice.

Also, I would be INCREDIBLY uncomfortable writing in KD's name. No way, no how. Nope. :P

Papa - I'm sorry you're having a rough day nausea-wise, but so happy to see the pics of little Ember! Love it! ('specially the feets!).

[sunwillshine]

P.S. Just thought I'd share in the picture love. It's been two weeks, and I think I've gotten a bit bigger. My bbs definitely did. Lol.

9w5d

11w5d

I still can't believe how quickly it happened. Yet I've not gained a pound. Weird how things just move around! DP and I really have to get on taking some better pics. My macbook cam is just annoying.

[erthe_mama]

Lyndzies: DP is very fair -skinned too (even though she's Métis), and though her nipples aren't dark compared to mine really, they're dark for her nipples.

FtMPapa: Cute pics!! Hope your nausea doesn't get any worse!

AFM: DP's fatigue is getting even worse... didn't know that was even possible. She had to stay home from work yesterday to sleep! Everything else is going pretty well. Oh, and here is that cervix pic.

[FtMPapa]

Wow, her cervix really is BLUE! And it looks very high, too, but obviously I'm not intimately acquainted with your DP's cervix, so maybe that's normal for her. But no kidding on the blue.

Man, the internet is so weird. I love it.

I'm having a tough day, I postponed my roadtrip to Canadia by a day, and spent the day doing getting-ready-to-leave things, with the plan of leaving in the morning. that I don't wake up feeling as bad as I did this morning.

I think I've decided that lox is the most perfect food in the world, I wish I could just sit here and eat lox all day.

[erthe_mama]

It totally is so blue. And actually although it's high, it's actually "low" for her. Pre-pregnancy it was practically unreachable most of the time.

Also, I agree! Lox is fantastic!!!

[pleasantlyfurious]

Papa - that feet picture IS the cutest thing ever!

[megan sacha]

Papa, love the pics, especially the cute little feet!

[Monarchgrrl]

Papa- those are great pics. Love the feeties!! Have a good time in Canada! I've never eaten lox. Is that weird?

Lyndzies- What a cute belly you've got goin' on!

erthe mama- Wow! That is blue!

[erthe_mama]

Monarchgrrl: We've been calling it her smurfvix. Hehe.


Hey you all; I think I'm the only queer on the November board... I'm not liking this very much. I'm lonely over there. I think I may quit my ddc.

[Monarchgrrl]

Awww erthe, I'm sorry. I was actually thinking of joining the Nov DDC and kinda being in both the Oct and Nov one since I'm technically due 10/28 but then after the first ultrasound the doc said 11/2 but I'm not really changing it in my head. And in all likelihood I'll be pregnant a bit into November, anyway. But when I lurked a bit all I saw were...um...yeah...not queers. Your DP is only 1 week behind me. Come on over to the Oct DDC with me, Lyndzies and Papa. Just say ya'll are due on 10/31. Not a huge difference, IMO, just for the DDC, right?

And for me, since it's my first pregnancy it helps me more to see most of the DDC ahead of me in weeks so I know what to expect. Wheras in the Nov one I'd be ahead of almost everyone and I didn't like that.

[sunwillshine]

erthe_mama - feel free to come on over to October! We've got a spot for early November; no one will mind.

Although, now that the TTC part is over, I gotta say... I'm just happy to have the support of other soon-to-be mamas who are going through the same exact stuff I am, queer or not. But I do hear you.

That said, I'm sure I'll be relying even more on the queer parenting forum after the little one is here, since I'm sure I'll encounter things that non-queer parent peer just "wouldn't get."

[erthe_mama]

Awww... Thanks you two!! I just may try that.

Monarchgrrl, your post made me when you said "But when I lurked a bit all I saw were...um...yeah...not queers." So, so true.

[Monarchgrrl]

Originally Posted by erthe_mama

Awww... Thanks you two!! I just may try that.

Monarchgrrl, your post made me when you said "But when I lurked a bit all I saw were...um...yeah...not queers." So, so true.

Hehe. Well, not that there is anything wrong with non-queers, but after seeing a little random sampling of a few threads, I decided I fit in better in Oct. So, come on over!!!

[wishin'&hopin']

Hmmm, that's a thought, October's DDC But, that might be a bit odd for the folks contemplating keeping the babies in just as I'm beginning to contemplate getting him OUT!

There aren't (as far as I've noticed) and other queer folk in April's DDC. So, I lurk but don't get involved--it's just not a good fit for me. It's nice to have this as an alternative even tho' we are all over the calendar.

I had my 35 week check today--cervix posterior and closed up tight, baby head down and facing my back. Everything looked good and HE totally flashed us (the only really discernible body part--it's hard to get a picture of the big, crowded, head in pelvis, facing back, little ones--was his testes )

Soooo, getting close, and I'm rocking the third trimester exhaustion

[mkpgoddess]

I'm loving the DDC convo...it's one of the reasons why I'm not as thrilled with the September DDC, although I seem to lurk in all of the DDC's before me too. I've never gotten the impression that anyone CARES that we're queer, but yeah....it's nice having this thread!!

I did have a coworker tell me today that she just thought it was really cool that DW and I could get pregnant "like this" and that she was beyond thrilled for us. Sometimes it's really nice being in a job (opera/theatre) that is so accepting. Kind of makes the not-so-accepting moments not that big of a deal.

So my sugars are starting to get hard to control. Please, please keep me in your thoughts that I can wrestle them down and keep them there. While I'm starting to resign myself to a hospital birth , I'd like to do with WITHOUT going on insulin...