Queer & Pregnant: March, April & May 2010 - Page 5

[erthe_mama]

wishin'&hopin Yeah... I think I just might lurk in both October and November. I'm doing most of my posting here.

mkpgoddess Ooooh, nice baby bump!!

megincl What a cute kid!!

FtMPapa Baby-growing sure is sleepy work, hey? Sorry you had to stop with only three more hours to go...

Lyndzies Awww! That last photo is particularly adorable.

quasar That sucks about the morning sickness plus lid-meets-head bit.

jjnoho Congrats!!

Heinleinesque Welcome! Sonja and I planning to counter-question the "Is it a boy or girl?" question with either "Yes!" or "Are you asking me about my baby's genitalia?!" or something to that effect.


AFM: We're planning to name our baby the same thing for either sex (Alarik), so that detail is unimportant to us. We have also mostly unisex clothing, but also pink and blue stuff (my fave is a bright pink onesie that has a cartoon cupcake on it and says "cupcake"), and we plan to dress the baby in all of the clothes regardless of sex as well.
Sonja is just home from work and already napping. It's really unfortunate that I suck at cooking so badly... So much so that she wants me to wake her up soon to make dinner rather than me cook for the family.
Also, I'm really glad that I learned about a special belly massage to get rid of gas/constipation when I was in massage therapy school; it's coming in handy for my pregnant womyn!

[Heinleinesque]

Originally Posted by erthe_mama

wishin'&hopin
Heinleinesque Welcome! Sonja and I planning to counter-question the "Is it a boy or girl?" question with either "Yes!" or "Are you asking me about my baby's genitalia?!" or something to that effect.

Oh, that's great! All I've been willing to say thus far is "I hope just one or the other, because life can be rough when you are both or neither."

Thank you all for the welcomes

[Monarchgrrl]

Originally Posted by Heinleinesque

Oh, that's great! All I've been willing to say thus far is "I hope just one or the other, because life can be rough when you are both or neither."

Thank you all for the welcomes

OOOH I like that!

[erthe_mama]

Me too!! That's actually much better...

[FtMPapa]

I heard the heartbeat today!

It was very exciting. I had my second midwife appointment today.

I'm still on the home/hospital fence, but so far, I like the midwives.

We listened to the heartbeat on the doppler, and I felt like a boring pregnant person because I don't really have any big concerns or questions or worries. She listened to my heart and lungs, boring. I'm beating, I'm breathing.

They tested my urine, and I guess it was fine because nobody said it wasn't.

I have about three days left of the first trimester, and I suppose I should be grateful that pregnancy has been so boring so far.

I mean, there were a couple little spotting/cramping scares, but overall, it's boring.

Getting pregnant was a whole lot more difficult and stressful than being pregnant.

I'm excited that today is the first day that I haven't gone back to bed the second I could, and I woke up feeling really good this morning, at a reasonable hour, and I didn't wake up to eat in the middle of the night. Total win.



How is everyone else doing?

I can't believe we made it through all of February and now most of March with no births! I'm awaiting our next graduates with bated breath.

[Heinleinesque]

Congratulations, Papa, that's great!

[jjnoho]

congrats papa on your very boring (good thing) pregnancy. it is an adjustment from ttc. but a welcome one no doubt

don't you just love hearing the heartbeat?? it brings me to tears every time.

i'm glad you are liking the midwives. i think they are great if you are still with the same bunch at the hospital!?

we are considering joining the centering group they offer - is anyone else invovled in that and what are your thoughts?

i have officially entered the 3rd trimester - where did all that time go? i am so not ready for a little one in my arms in 3 months! we have a lot to do and not a single piece of furniture yet. i am also feeling really huge all of a sudden. not really achy but have a big belly right out front of me. my feet are getting further and further away. i'm almost at the point of needing help getting my shoes on! FUN!!

[Monarchgrrl]

Papa, congrats on hearing the heartbeat! That's awesome!!

[ocelotmom]

Originally Posted by erthe_mama

Monarchgrrl: We've been calling it her smurfvix. Hehe.


Hey you all; I think I'm the only queer on the November board... I'm not liking this very much. I'm lonely over there. I think I may quit my ddc.

Don't know if I "count", since my partner is male, but I'm there!

(Due date is 11/1. I suspect, based on my past history, that it will show up in October, but I'm feeling more ties to the November group.)

[quasar]

How cool on hearing the heartbeat, papa! Glad you like your midwives. I hope whatever you decide for the birth makes for an amazing experience.

We had our first OB appointment today. Man, what is it with none of these appointments with this baby going according to plan? We were waiting for a good 20 minutes at least before we were taken in for the 'interview' with the nurse. As we were walking in, the nurse stopped smartycat and was like, "Oh, you can just stay out in the waiting room. We're just going to be asking her a few questions." I mumbled, "Um, she probably knows the dates and things better than I do." and smartycat said, "Yeah, thanks I'd like to be back there for everything..." Or something to that effect. So we're in there for quite some time answering dumb family history questions and then I mention that I'm still bfing DS. The nurse got all offended(? I know that's not the right word, but not sure how else to put it) and said, "Well, you know you're going to have to stop doing that. He's probably getting old enough to wean anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. It won't hurt the baby if he doesn't wean, but your calcium will be sucked up and your bones will be majorly depleted." As if I'm an idiot and don't know that I need to increase my vitamin intake... She also mentioned co-sleeping and how it should never be done, etc. Whatever.... finally that was over with and I peed in a cup for them. Then they just had us stand in the hall for about 10 minutes while we waited for a nurse to take us in. We felt really awkward, so after the 10 minutes we just went back in the waiting room. IT was yet another 10 minutes before they took us back to a room. Then they got my vitals and we waited yet again for the doctor. She was cool. Told me I could continue breastfeeding and didn't say anything stupid, like the nurse did. She poked me a little bit, and that was it. I got my rx for some lab work, but haven't had a chance to get that done yet. The whole appointment today took almost 2 freaking hours, and for absolutely nothing really. I was a little annoyed and really hungry by the time it was all done. Last time, this office was great. Not sure what the deal was this time around, but they better shape up.

[mkpgoddess]

Quasar - oh yuck...I hate doctor's appt's like that!! Good for the two of you holding your ground and getting smartycat to stay. She has every right to! As for the whole nonsense about bf'ing while preg, I've seen a few other threads about nurses saying that Again, I'm so sorry for other people's inherent stupidity.

[FtMPapa]

Quasar -

I'm a complainer, I'd be mentioning it to the doctor, in your shoes.

The nurse shouldn't be devaluing your family like that, and shouldn't be giving out bad medical advice.

Incidentally, I noted that my insurance got billed $30 for a urine pregnancy test! How CRAZY is that? I mean, $10, maybe, for a $1 test, a five cent dixie cup, and the nurse's time to note it in my chart. That seems reasonable, but $30????

[carmen358]

Just popping in to say Congrats for an uneventful first trimester, papa!

[megan sacha]

OT: Very Hard Week for Me

Our nearly 17 yr old cat has been deteriorating since the day of my 8 week prenatal when she went blind. Yesterday we made the choice to have her put to sleep. It was so, so hard. We'd done it before 1.5 yrs ago but that cat had developed pretty severe dementia and it was somehow easier since she was already mentally gone. This kitty though was my absolute favorite and in our lives for so long. I can't really imagine life without her.

We took her to the vet yesterday afternoon for the procedure and took almost 3 yr old DS. He got super squirrelly, making it really hard to focus on what was going on. I think it was his way of reacting to the stress. Then we went out to dinner because we didn't want to come home yet to our kitty-less house and on the way into the restaurant he was so squirrelly while I was holding his hand walking that he pulled me down. I guess the pregnancy contributed to loosing my balance, and we both landed face down on the sidewalk. I ended up the worst with a badly bruised right knee and a scraped up/torn pants left knee and burning hands. I just lay there on the ground sobbing. I felt so pathetic. And man did the waterworks kick in. DS was uncharacteristically a nightmare at dinner, right when we needed him to be "good", you know?

And, today I'm solo parenting and it's not going well. DS is driving me crazy and I keep crying.

Just needed some support.

[indigoscot]

hugs to you megan. i'm so sorry about your kitty. that's never an easy thing to do even without pregnancy hormones. i hope finn behaved ok for you for the rest of the day.

g

[FtMPapa]

Meghan Sacha -

I can't even imagine. I have two 12 year old cats and a 8.5 year old Great Dane, everybody is getting old and I just don't know how I'll cope when their times come.

Can you maybe get some space alone where you can cry? And cry, and cry, and cry? Crying is one of the ways our bodies get rid of stress hormones and chemicals that are making us feel bad. That's why we so often feel better after a good cry.

Hang in there.

[megan sacha]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

Meghan Sacha -

I can't even imagine. I have two 12 year old cats and a 8.5 year old Great Dane, everybody is getting old and I just don't know how I'll cope when their times come.

Can you maybe get some space alone where you can cry? And cry, and cry, and cry? Crying is one of the ways our bodies get rid of stress hormones and chemicals that are making us feel bad. That's why we so often feel better after a good cry.

Hang in there.

Yeah, the lack of space for crying is severely missing. I was told by DS yesterday to "stop crying mama!" Arrgh. I'm solo parenting again today and then tomorrow morning I work and then my dad comes to babysit Finn while we go with my mom to our big anatomy scan. I really could have just used a day to grieve alone, but alas that didn't and probably won't happen soon.

I'm just feeling a sense of doom now going into the ultrasound which so doesn't feel good. My wife's long term patient died yesterday too so it seems death is just everywhere. And, I haven't felt the baby move in days when it seemed to be starting to be regularly every day. Everything is probably fine, I just have a lot of extra negative feelings right now. And for some reason, since our kitty started really heading down hill, I felt that because she was sick, the pregnancy was jeopardized. I know it doesn't make sense, but the feeling was still there. And now that she's dead, well...

For what it's worth, I feel a bit l less sad/depressed this morning after lots of crying yesterday and lots of sleep. Hope it continues that way.

[mkpgoddess]

Megan - It is one of the worst things to have to put a kitty down, and to do so pregnant feels like an absolute violation. We went through that when pregnant with DD. I hope you can find a few moments of peace and a way out of the miasma of negativity. Your scan will be great and your babe is fine, but it doesn't change anything of what you are feeling now. My thoughts are with you.

[sunwillshine]

Oh, megan, I am so so sorry. . My kitties are members of the family, too, and I can't even imagine. Thinking of you and hoping you can find some peace (and some space to grieve however you need). xoxo

Papa - My insurance was billed similarly for the initial pee test. Ridiculous, I say!!! And, yay for hearing the HB! We heard it at the 12 week scan, but haven't heard it w/ the doppler yet. Can't wait! (And I secretly want to buy one of those personal doppler thingies, but DP is way more practical and has put her foot down, saying it's a "waste" of money.

Oh, and I'm super psyched for you that you're having a relatively "boring" pregnancy. Me, too.

quasar - I would have been LIVID at the nurse. Part of the reason I went straight to the midwife after my first couple of interactions with the OB practice was because I felt I was being treated poorly... I agree w/ papa, I'd definitely complain to the doc. So sorry you had to deal with that crap.

jjnoho - congrats on entering the 3rd tri!!! Yay!!

erthe_mama - Alarik is a very beautiful and unique name. May I ask how you decided on it?

Sorry for anyone I missed! I have been reading, just not really posting much in the last week or so.

AFM - I think my belly shrunk...It's been two weeks (minus a day) since the last time I snapped a pic, and I think I've stalled in outside growth. The belly feels more defined and firmer, so maybe I just lost a little more bloat. It is almost as though it got smaller on top of the belly, and rounder on the bottom. Perhaps because bloat went away, and the uterus is pushing out more on the bottom? I know the upper belly was/is probably just organs and such anyhow... Oh hell, what do I know, I'm a first timer... lol. I know it's nothing to worry about because I'm just starting the second trimester, and this is when growth usually starts, not in the first tri like it did w/ me.

9w5d
11w5d
13w4d

I other news, I'm to be in the second trimester!!!! I can finally say I'm "in" my 4th month, and that feels FABULOUS! Papa, I wonder which one of us will "graduate" first? We're so close in EDD.

Other than that, not much to report. I am feeling pretty good, except I have started to have minor back and hip pain... I'm still pretty tired, but I think that's because I've been overworking myself lately. Best of all right now is that my mom is coming to visit this weekend; she lives 7 hours northwest, in Buffalo, and we haven't seen each other since before I was pregnant. We have a very close relationship, and I miss her so much, especially now. It's going to be wonderful to spend a couple of days together!!!

[KnittingTigers]

Just popping in to send to Megan.

I hope you're doing okay, and that seeing your little bean has turned some of the sadness around.