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once UC always UC?

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Hi Ladies. I was wondering if anyone has had an UC and then decided to have a midwife for a subsequent birth? Once you have an UC is there any going back?

I find myself unexpectedly pg with #4 and still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we are going to have another baby. All three of my babies were born at home with #3 being unassisted. For #1 the midwife arrived 30 min before the birth and for #2 the midwife arrived as he was crowning and for #3 we did prenatal care with a midwife but I decided for many reasons that I didn't want the midwife there for the actual birth, so I had him unassisted and then called her to come over after.

oh and we had a different midwife for each birth. So for this baby, I still can't believe we are having another baby! I'm seriously thinking of hiring the midwife we had for my second baby. She has 7 children of her own, she is very supportive of UC as she herself had several of her children unassisted. And I feel strongly that she would be very hands off. I'm rambling now...
post #2 of 23
Thread Starter 
maybe I should add why I'm considering hiring a midwife this time....

I think it would be nice to have someone else besides just my DH here. (This probably sounds stupid.)

I think it would be more relaxing to have a midwife here, because even though everything went very well with my UC birth I have to admit that I was nervous and scared when he was being born. Just hoping everything would be fine and hoping that we didn't have any complications. We didn't but I think that maybe if a midwife was here I wouldn't feel that kind of stress?

And also, I did tear with my UC birth (and need stitches) and I'm thinking that if we have a midwife she would be able to help prevent that this time.
post #3 of 23
not necessarily. i know it seems like a natural progression to go from hospital, to midwife attended homebirth, to UC (at least for me it was) but i think it's more about what your needs happen to be during that particular time in your life. i loved, loved, loved my uc--was on a birth high much longer than my others (etc, etc) but i'm thinking this time around i might consider hiring a fellow doula/assistant friend of mine who's almost ready to test for her cpm. i just really missed that woman support. but that's not to say i didn't completely love our birth experience as something just shared between dh and i. i absolutely did, but i'm open to considering that my needs may be different this time around.
post #4 of 23
I think you should do whatever feels right for you, and the current pregnancy. We had ds1 in the hospital (never again unless lives are in danger). Dd was UC, but midwife visits during the pg. Ds1 was UP/UC. Initially after his birth-like later that night we decided we'd have a mw attended hb next time, but by the next morning I felt better and we're back to planning UP/UC in the future. But I'm definitely open to mw attended if that's the way I feel I'm being led or dh is being led.
post #5 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisette View Post
maybe I should add why I'm considering hiring a midwife this time....

I think it would be nice to have someone else besides just my DH here. (This probably sounds stupid.)

I think it would be more relaxing to have a midwife here, because even though everything went very well with my UC birth I have to admit that I was nervous and scared when he was being born. Just hoping everything would be fine and hoping that we didn't have any complications. We didn't but I think that maybe if a midwife was here I wouldn't feel that kind of stress?

And also, I did tear with my UC birth (and need stitches) and I'm thinking that if we have a midwife she would be able to help prevent that this time.
i didn't see this subsequent post--got too busy responding to the first.

i think that's a perfect reason to have an assisted birth. past experiences are what we go by to evaluate how to meet our current/future needs.
post #6 of 23
You really just need to do what feels right for you, but I wanted to chime in because I found myself unexpectedly pg with #4 as well. In the first few months I had a strong urge to hire a midwife despite being a "hardcore" UCer after 2 UP/UC. My desire to hire a midwife stemmed mostly from the unexpected nature of my pg. Once I worked through my surprise and the feelings of loss over the future I had planned for our family of 5 the need I felt for a midwife dissipated. I went on to have an amazing solo birth.

That may not be your issue at all, but I wanted to share my experience. Sometimes our intuition is telling us we have a real NEED for something. Other times it is a clue that we have some unresolved issues we need to work through. The important thing is for you to examine where your feelings are coming from so you can make the best choice for your particular circumstance.

Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS
post #7 of 23

..........


Edited by 1babysmom - 3/17/13 at 6:57pm
post #8 of 23
it's really up to you.

in all of this stuff--by that i mean the whole birthing advocacy culture whatever--the bottom line is the freedom to choose for yourself based on information and what you consider best.

this means that even though you may UC one, you may not UC others. What is important is that you have a happy, healthy birth experience with happy, healthy outcomes. that can be created in many ways--even in hospital settings with c-sections.

so, just because you birth one way the first time, doesn't mean that there is any obligation to do it that way over and over and over, you know? just because you had this for that one, and that for this one, doesn't mean that you have to do either of those for the next.

you just have to decide what you think is right, what you want to do. and then you do that.

and, if you would feel more comfortable, confident, or whatever with a midwife there, then have the midwife there.
post #9 of 23
You're not alone. We had a wonderful UC birth with our third child. It really was an awesome experience and I wasn't really fearful at all. It went wonderfully and I have no complaints....

Which is why my husband was totally thrown off when I told him I wanted to use a midwife with this pregnancy. (Apparently I did a great job of convincing him of UC because it was hard to convince him a midwife would be beneficial!)

In order to understand why I chose to have a midwife after having a wonderful UC, you probably should know a few things.

The area we lived in (Louisiana) had no homebirthing midwives. There were midwives about an hour away from us that did births in their free-standing birth center, but that was it. We used them for some of our prenatal care, but as we neared 30 weeks, we discontinued their care.

I desperately wanted a homebirth. I had two hospital births, and while I did have fairly natural births- with the exception of my first child getting stuck in the pelvis (oh the joys of laboring flat on your back for 10 hours!) and having to be pulled out with forceps- I knew that my births would have been much better and quicker if I had not felt so awkward and uncomfortable. (All those strangers? Being exposed to people you don't know... it's not a good feeling!)

So, I eventually decided that I would have my homebirth without a midwife, since there was absolutely no possibility of that. (I did entertain the idea of having a doula there, though, but decided against it in the end.)

We now live in an area that has MANY homebirthing midwives- and some excellent ones at that.

In Louisiana, my husband was always nearby. He was always in town, and he ran his own businesses, so he could be home at the drop of a hat.

Now he is no longer self-employed, and is sometimes anywhere from 3 to 12 hours away from me (or at least on the other side of Houston... which could take him up to two hours to get home in traffic).

I do not want to have a UC alone. I want someone- preferably my husband- to be there with me. But, something may happen so that he is not able to arrive in time (at least for the major laboring, when I need someone to just sit by me or hold my hand- or hold me up in a standing position).

Also, we have had a real struggle to get our child's birth certificate (ARG, Louisiana) and it would pretty much be done for us by our midwife, which would be a nice big sigh of relief after all the hassle we've been through.

Mostly, it would just be nice to have someone there to help clean up the mess and deal with some of the smaller things while my husband and I enjoy our newborn.

I picked a midwife that is very hands off. I told her I wanted everything I had in our UC- my husband to be extremely involved, for him to be able to "catch" the baby (He even helped the head out so I wouldn't tear), etc. And, because she's absolutely wonderful, she's okay with all of that. She's the sort that will be as involved as you desire her to be.

I think it's also important to note that we had 4 miscarriages before conceiving this baby (I'm now 13 weeks along, and I dont think I'll ever feel "in the clear")... and so I really want more prenatal care and someone watching over me than I did with the last because I am so paranoid about losing this precious baby.

It's hard to explain why someone who had such a wonderful UC would not continue on the UC path with the next birth (and we do desire more children, even after this one arrives).... but we are doing what feels right for the time. I think I need someone to reassure me that everything is okay and is going fine due to all the issues and complications we've had getting a "sticky pregnancy".

Who knows, with our next, we may be back on with UCing.

Whatever the case, I do desire a natural, intervention free birth, and so, whomever is involved in the birth must fit in with that.
post #10 of 23
Btw-there is something powerful about UCs that make you feel in control- and stretches over into future pregnancies and births, even if you choose to have a doctor and a midwife.

You KNOW you can do it yourself. You know your body was made to do it. You have that confidence. It's no longer an issue... so you don't mind telling someone what you want and making sure you get your way.
post #11 of 23
My first was a wonderful, planned UP/UC. No complications, super easy "textbook" birth. I loved it, and was high from it for weeks. I still consider it the coolest thing I have ever done.

However, now that I am pregnant with number two, I am considering hiring a midwife for the birth and some basic prenatal care. I am still very much on the fence, and I have no idea at this moment what I will choose, but I wanted to chime in and say you are not alone in considering a midwife after a UC.

I have no fears regarding this birth, but part of me thinks it would be nice to have someone there who would take on a little bit of the responsibility. Part of it is my DP is not the father of my son, and he isn't very comfortable with the concept of UC. I know I could bring him around if I wanted to, but sometimes I think it would be easier to just hire the midwife. Also, when I was pregnant with my son, I didn't know any midwives that I felt comfortable with (illegal in my state, hard to find) and this time around I have been introduced to a wonderful one who I think might enhance the beauty of this birth, rather than hinder it.

We'll see... but no, I don't think you have to UC again even though you have - you have nothing to prove, kwim?
post #12 of 23
Rixa Freeze did that. She even did a blog post "explaining" why she did it (http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2009/04...o-midwife.html). Her first was a UC and her second was a midwife-attended homebirth because that's how she felt that birth should go.
post #13 of 23
Man, that is an awesome blogpost. So insightful. Thanks for the link.
post #14 of 23
I will definitely UC next time unless there is a medical reason why I need higher care. I can't imagine ever having a hospital birth again. My last birthing experience was absolutely wonderful. I'll do another UP too.
post #15 of 23
I considered do a MW HB this time around. What appealed to me was the additional set of hands. DH really worked hard during my labor and cleanup.

I also found out while in labor that I liked the idea of having a social birth. During pregnancy, I really thought I wanted a private birth w/ just me and DH.

Now, when I do my "birth imaging" or daydreaming, I see me, and DH, and DD in the birth pool, happy and chatting as I'm birthing....but I also see family members in the room.

I know...it's so weird....

Anyways, DH and I talked about our philosophies and our desires for birth and we both wholeheartedly agree that an UC birth is most in line with what we want. At the same time, I'm going to talk to some family members about being at the birth and helping out and see how it goes from there.
post #16 of 23
totally in the ball park of doing what feels right. We are having a mw-assisted homebirth (maybe?) this time....
post #17 of 23
All of your responses are really encouraging, even though I'm not the OP and you aren't speaking directly to me.

My first birth was in the hospital, though we were only there for 45 minutes of the 18 hour labor. My husband and I did most of the work alone at home.

Then my second birth was a planned homebirth, but I had all these thoughts/fears of people messing with me. I bought a tub so that I could have a barrier between myself and my midwife. I didn't hire a doula because I felt there wouldn't be time (and I AM a doula. You'd think I'd be gung-ho.). But baby arrived before the midwife - again with my husband and I doing it alone. (Ok, truly, I did it. He had the presence of mind to pull my underwear off after the baby's head was out. That's about it.) I think I knew that things would go so quickly, or maybe my body made it happen so quickly to avoid the interference I was worried about. Either way, I had a sense of how it would go.

Now this time, we have a planned homebirth. Full-term tomorrow! I like this midwife much more, have seen her work and love how in-the-background she operates. I have a close doula-friend who will be there. I rented the tub. I've even spoken with the midwives at my closest hospital (where I had my first baby), to see what happens in case I have to transfer. I just have this feeling that this birth will be a little less straight-forward than my other two. So, I've arranged things accordingly. I'm also excited about the "party" birth that will happen when my doula, the midwife and her assistant all get in the same room - especially because we all know eachother professionally. It's been wonderful to have two labors just my partner and I, but I'm excited to see what it's like to be surrounded by female support.

The point being - I think we have a sense of how our birth will be before we're anywhere near it. If you think a midwife is appropriate for you this time, it's absolutely what you should do. Every birth is unique. You can be an experienced doula and childbirth educator with two unmedicated labors under your belt (ahem. me.), and you are still as clueless about how your birth will go as an uneducated, main-stream first-timer. Birth is a great humbler. Sometimes that intuition is all we have to guide us.
post #18 of 23
My first was a hospital birth, my 2nd and 3rd were births with the midwife I eventually apprenticed with, my 4th was a UC in an area with no midwives (the home school families took care of each other), #5 was back with my midwife (we've moved a lot) and #6 was another UC because my midwife retired and moved out of state, and then out of the country and I wasn't interested in the new midwife in the area and saw no point in having her when I was a midwife myself and my hubby was trained in emergency care for births. Other than the hospital birth, each was exactly the way I wanted them to be. Two of my midwife attended ones I wanted my mom there and there is no way she could have been if I didn't have a midwife (she's in the medical community and would have freaked); both of my UC's I didn't want my mom and was completely fine with no midwife. If we had any further kids, I would take it case by case though I'm quite sure I would want to UC.
post #19 of 23
if midwives could do VBACs here i would have a midwife. if that changes while i'm still having babies then i plan on having one. i think each birth deserves it's own thinking. hosptial/home/birth ceneter / OB / UC /Midwife

do whatever feels right to you the midwife can always be in another room if it turns out you dont really need her for the birth she can just make you breakfast / dinner instead!
post #20 of 23
I had an extremely strong urge to have a midwife for my last pregnancy (#5). We'd had a mostly UP/UC for our fourth and so neither my husband nor I could fathom why I had such a strong feeling about it.

Turns out it was twins, not found until we had a scan at 20 weeks. Further, my first baby was a footling breech and was in need of some help upon birth. I started to need to push my second baby out just 2 minutes after his sisters birth so wouldn't have been much good helping my first. It was the correct choice for us and it still amazes me how strongly my intuition led me towards hiring more help. My midwife, by the way, was amazing and I'm glad to now call her my friend.
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