Would you keep this midwife?

[BabyA'sMom]

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Edited by BabyA'sMom - 1/29/11 at 4:00pm

[BunnySlippers]

I would look for a midwife that enjoys her job and/or actually has the time for her clients. This one seems tuned out.

[xixstar]

she sounds way too busy with other things to manage these tasks... I'd probably look for another midwife if she isn't meeting your needs.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Yah, I have to agree with the PP. She seems overloaded or uninterested, or maybe neither but regardless I'd switch midwifes.

Mine always answered her phone (I don't recall ever having to leave her a message), did what she said she was going to do, and if I had to remind her about something it was done right away. Forgetfullness is human, but neglect is bad business.

[SelenaJean]

First off, I'm so sorry to hear of your prior loss. I experienced a Molar pregnancy/miscarriage last year and so I was very worried when I became pregnant this time. My midwives were wonderful, they saw me right away and discussed different options with me on what level of testing I wanted for reassurance. They wanted me to call at any time even to just talk if I was worried and promtly ordered the testing I needed. It sounds like your midwife is dropping the ball and I'd look for someone else.

[Snapdragon]

I would say try to find another midwife. But I know it isn't always easy to find a great one.
I have very average midwives- they aren't awful but they aren't very warm or emotionally supportive and I don't feel great about them. But the only other choices weren't great either- so sometimes it is a matter of choosing the best available even if they aren't great.
But based on your story of her I would at least look for others if you can.

[ginapueblo]

I agree with the others. You need a midwife you can rely on. She may be too busy or just flakey, but that's not fair to you. The fact that she lied about the lab slip is particularly concerning.

I also find so many midwives de-prioritize the postpartum period (and I have been guilty of this myself), but I think it's perhaps one of the most critical aspects of midwifery care.

It sounds like you know the answer already. You deserve more responsiveness. Even if only a message that says she's swamped and will get to it ASAP.

Hugs.

[LovnMyBoys]

I agree with everyone else. You need to know your needs are being met, and that the person providing your care is acting in your best interest.
After my last m/c the midwife called numerous times to check in, asked about my needs all the time, and spent awhile on the phone with me discussing how I felt about conceiving again. She has been nothing but great with this pregnancy so far. She has validated my concerns having had three prior m/c, and has done her best to alleviate them.
I hope you find a great midwife, and get to experience that nice feeling of support.

[thefreckledmama]

Short answer: I would look for a different midwife.

Long answer: Depending on what your options are for midwives in your area, I would still seek out a different midwife. If your options are limited (to the point where she's kind of it), then I would try to discuss your concerns, and see what she has to say regarding them. When it comes down to it, choosing a midwife is more or less like any other consumer/buyer decision you may make. If the service she's providing is not meeting your needs or expectations, and she is unable to fulfill your (reasonable) expectations, then I think it's generally in your best interest to look elsewhere. I also think since the situations you have issues with have all been regarding her reliability in getting back to you, and they weren't isolated to a short time period-like some personal situation that interfered with her ability to get back to you-I personally don't think that's likely to change in the future, but that's just my $.02 on the subject.

Either way, I hope you're able to work things out to have the care you want and deserve for your pregnancy and birth.

[jdg]

I would find another midwife. If your options are limited in your area, make sure you have another one lined up before letting go of this one. If possible, talk to other women who have used midwifery services in your area and see who they liked and why, so you can get a head start on finding someone who matches up well with what you want.

[VT mountaingirl]

Definitely look for another midwife. I have recently switched midwives because my midwife was way too busy to meet my needs. We found a great midwife, and I feel soooo much better about things. You do not need the stress of a midwife that doesn't seem to care right now. Good luck in your search!

[McMandy]

Definitely find a new midwife. A good midwife who finds herself overloaded will refer you to another midwife. I called a midwife on one side of town who felt it would be best if I found someone closer to me since there seem to be quite a few midwives (although it can be difficult to find good ones among the lot!).

I'm really glad she did because I LOVE my midwife and am so glad this other midwife recommended her to me.

Often, you can call a good recommended midwife in a surrounding city and ask if they can recommend a midwife in your area. This can be very helpful.

Also, there are many people here- so you might be able to post your general area and get some good recommendations.

[BabyA'sMom]

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Edited by BabyA'sMom - 1/29/11 at 4:00pm

[~Kristina~]

I didn't read your entire post, but enough to say yes, definitely find a new midwive.