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March 2010 Infertility One Thread

post #1 of 136
Thread Starter 
A monthly thread to talk about all of our various journeys through the difficult, trying, and often heartbreaking world of infertility. This thread is a place to chat, vent, get support, cheer each other on, and hopefully occasionally laugh!


Trying to Conceive #1

anne1140~26, TTC #1 since Nov. '07. Me: septate uterus, Him: poor sperm morphology and motility, possibly caused by varicocele (repaired now!). Follow up SA showed little change. Next SA in April. Trying in the meantime.

AutumnLaughing~32, TTC #1 since June of 2008, PCOS + possible endo, clear HSG, using progesterone cream, DH ambivilent due to unemployment.

Blueyezz4~Unexplained Infertility; TTC “#1” which is really #3 after losing #1 & #2 (twin boys at 22.5wks on 6-20-09 conceived after trying for 3yrs). We are back to ART gonal F and trigger shot/IUI. Fingers crossed!!

indianagrl~35, DH also 35. TTC #1 since 10/08 with hypothyroidism, possible other hormone imbalance.

Kimberly23~23, TTC #1 with PCOS, about to start first cycle of Clomid and Provera.


laura-belle~TTC #1 since 5/2007. I'm 28, DH is 42. 7 failed IUI's, now moving on to IVF after a bit more testing.

miriam_bat_avraham~Julie, 27, TTC #1 with DH, 34. Trying off and on starting in Jan 2009 and actively since November 2009. DH is occasionally anejaculatory and I don't ovulate regularly. We saw an RE on 1/11 and will be proceeding with them, but we're going to try another cycle or two on our own first to avoid some of the testing.

MrsD08~Samantha 24, DH 31, TTC Baby D. #1 since September 2009 with male factor infertility. Saw a new Urologist 2/23. He is hopeful that we can figure out what is going on w/ DH. He has ordered a SA and if we can't get a sample then he will do a procedure to see if there is a blockage of some sort. Next appointment: March 30th.

Pugmomma~stage 4 endo; lap 8/2007, TTC #1, DF has low count, 1/11/09 hsg, 1/15/09 SA

stretch358~TTC since Aug. 08 with hashimoto's thyroiditis. Other than that the RE says Unexplained Infertility.

Tear78~TTC #1 since 5/2008, recovering from laparoscopy/hysteroscopy to remove 4-5cm endometroid cyst. Yuck! TTC on full hold until early March for full recovery.

wallabisfarm~Sara, 29, actively TTCed for 2 years with endo, now, after a 4 year break (without prevention) we are trying again on a gluten free diet to heal from my gluten intolerance or celiac disease.

ladylaura~Laura, 25, TTC#1 since May 2007, using donor sperm b/c of husband's genetic defect.

Grapesbunch~26, TTC#1 since August 2008. DH had a low SA and is taking Clomid to assist with correcting a pos. pituitary problem.

shesaidboom~Nikki, 26, TTC #1 since '07. Have lost three. Taking Metformin for PCOS. Finished one cycle of Provera. Waiting to follow up with Endocrinologist.


Trying To Conceive #2


amberc727~TTC #2 since Oct '08. Starting Femara this cycle.


brichole1214~Brandy 26 (w/ PCOS),DH 30, TTC #2 (#1 together) since September 2007 with no success. Did 4 rounds of Clomid with OB no results! Started see RE in Nov '09 and have done 2 rounds with 2 other oral medications, and now on 2nd round with Menopur up to 225 IU's a day.

Eastbayk~natural, TTC #2 for 3 years

lotusblossom9~28, TTC #2, trying Femara this cycle after Clomid didn't work.

kristenok18~37, DH 39, TTC#2 since 2004 w/ PCOS and Multiple MIF issues. Did a failed cycle of Femera and IUI and planning a medicated IUI cycle for February.

Minkajane~ Mandy (pcos) & DH(low SA and poor morphology) TTC#2 since June '08. 4 months failed Femera/Ovedril cycles 2 were w/ IUI!


Trying To Conceive #3




quetinha
~38, TTC #3, back to Clomid after 4 Femara cycles


Vermillion~ 26, 17 week loss with baby #2 (no known cause) in 12/07. TTC #3 off and on since 3/09. Getting ready to see a RE in Feb. for irregular cycles, elevated prolactin levels and suspected pituitary growth or PCOS. TTA until we have some more answers.

Lesliesara63~Leslie (35), TTC#3 since March 09. Had an IUI and waiting to see if this took, if not will be going back to my old RE. Pos. have a bicornuate uterus, with unexplained IF.

Trying To Conceive #4

Kel32brown~Kelli. TTC #4 for 36 months, m/c 10/08, 1st Clomid/IUI (April 2009) led to missed miscarriage (July 2009). January IUI #3, Waiting to Test on February 8...



Graduates
(May everyone who passes through this thread find her way to this section!)

alexaskj, trumpcard, poetgirl, ann_of_loxley, eternalsunshine, tami1981, Jelinifer, Furrow, crazyrunningmama, claireb, Aly22681, BellyBean, booja's mom, Moondiapers, by-the-lake, Kiki99, Catubodua, mamasgirls, mischievium, Jelly Bean, Corikodjo, blueRhino, Voltige, songbird45, FayeO, LibbyLou, MeadowMom, gumby74, nummies, Julia'sMom, Perdita_in_Ontario, Pookietooth, Laci, Oregonduck, nyteacher, AmyKT



Losses


Victorian Patch, lovebug


Missing in Action
(A section for people who haven't posted to this thread in at least two months)
Becky8824, brandyshea, brittloup, DaisyMae08, KellyTTC#1, lalalola, MOMTOALEXIS, NorthSky, wgt4miracle, blackapple, Crystal-mommy, KrysTTC, Needle In the Hay, Shadow22, lovbeingamommy, Kuntry_Gurl78, mommyndoula, mmpmelmack



PLEASE let the thread keeper know if there is anything you would like to add/ delete/ change from your synopsis above. Bolding requests is appreciated!


Weekend Wrap-Up
Name:
Age:
TTC #:
CD:
DPO (if applicable):
Testing:
Trying Since:
Plan for this Cycle:
Link to Chart (if applicable):
Thoughts:
post #2 of 136
Thread Starter 
We had a great response in february and I hope to see familiar and new faces this month!!! Let March be a very Fertal month for us all.....

I'm going to go ahead and do my weekend wrap up here since march first starts in a few hours

Weekend Wrap-Up

Name: Brandy
Age: 26
TTC #: 2
CD: 10
DPO (if applicable): n/a
Testing: ?
Trying Since: September 07
Plan for this Cycle: Don't go back to the RE until March 12th still waiting on some of the folicles from last cycle to go away!!
Link to Chart (if applicable): n/a
Thoughts: Really frustrated that i'm having to wait until halfway through this cycle before i go back to the RE. I think March is completely out of the plan and we will have to wait until april or the very end of march before we are able to do anything. I am trying to be okay with eveything...but it's really hard. I just can't help but think the doctor should of waiting on taking me up to 3 vials of the menopur...but i guess he knows best or that he thinks he knows best!!! ANYWAYS...Really praying to have a great u/s and b/w appointment on the 12th!!!!
post #3 of 136
Taking the discussion about infertility from the last thread over here....
I feel bad even coming in here very often because we haven't been trying long. But, the doctor has made it official that DH is infertile, just no name to it yet. Any other ladies in this thread with Male Factor Infertility?

I do hang out in the TTC boards more often. I stay away from the obsessing threads and the have I O'd yet questions, except to give simple advice.

I just feel lost...like I don't belong somewhere....

I'll do my update in another post.....
post #4 of 136
Weekend Wrap-Up

Name: Samantha
Age: 24
TTC #: 1
CD: 6 (or 5, I lost count and I don't feel like looking right now, ha!)
DPO (if applicable): n/a
Testing: Not this cycle....
Trying Since: September '09
Plan for this Cycle: Trying to get a semen sample from DH, whilst still trying to get pregnant naturally. Seeing the doctor again on the 30th. Wondering if I should venture the question of possibility of having a child naturally...like, if he's seen this before in other men or what.
Link to Chart (if applicable): http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/babyd1
Thoughts: I feel lost. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to find a support group for infertility somewhere close, but I don't know how to search for it. I vent at work (a bunch of women who understand) and one of the other teachers tells me her story of getting ready to start a cycle with meds, etc. for IUI and come to find out--she's pregnant. Yay, thanks for telling me your story....ugh.

Brandy, I know what you mean about people thinking it's weird that we're so young and seeing specialists...but whatever. If I sat around and did nothing, I wouldn't find anything out. I expressed this in my previous post....I feel even worse because we haven't been trying that long. But, if DH doesn't ejaculate, do you really expect me to wait a year before going to see a specialist?! Just frustrated...
post #5 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD08 View Post
Taking the discussion about infertility from the last thread over here....
I feel bad even coming in here very often because we haven't been trying long. But, the doctor has made it official that DH is infertile, just no name to it yet. Any other ladies in this thread with Male Factor Infertility?

I do hang out in the TTC boards more often. I stay away from the obsessing threads and the have I O'd yet questions, except to give simple advice.

I just feel lost...like I don't belong somewhere....

I'll do my update in another post.....
MrsDO8- It's odd when you feel like you don't quite belong, isn't it? I felt that way in the pg boards before I m/c, then felt that way in the pregnancy loss boards (especially ttc after loss threads), and still feel that way sometimes when someone is dealing with primary IF because even though infertility sucks no matter who it is, I at least have ds. But if you've got known IF issues, then this is the place to be, regardless of how long you've been trying.

Both dh and I have issues: I have pcos, he has several things going on (varicocele, retrograde ejaculation, low motility, low morphology, low volume, low viscosity).
post #6 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD08 View Post
Any other ladies in this thread with Male Factor Infertility?
I am also dealing with Male Factor. DH had a severely low sperm count on two SA's taken about two weeks apart. Since all tests came back normal, the doctor thinks it's a pituitary issue. His blood test did show that his FHS was on the higher end of normal, but still normal as the doctor put it. He has been taking Clomid since the end of November and will finish up this week. I am calling today to schedule another SA and keeping my : that the count is up! He also has a small variococele but the doctor said that is probably not the reason for such a low count (it was just under 200,000!). If his count is up but not enough, they will schedule to have the variococele removed. If it is normal, they will do nothing. If it is low, they will tell us to have some sperm frozen. Poor DH is only 25.

As for the rest of you ranting about people complaining about not being pregnant after a short time, I'm with you. UGH! My sister, who has two beautiful kids ages 3 and 2, was complaining about not getting pregnant "right away" like she did with the first two. Her advice to me is to relax and it will happen. Not until testing for started for dh did they finally begin to empathize with me a little. I have 7 (well, the 7th will be born tomorrow) beautiful nieces and nephews on my side of the family that are all 3 and under so it's been hard the last couple of years seeing so many babies and knowing it might never happen with me. I know my husband and I are very young, but one doctor has already told us we will never have kids of our own. I'm for a miracle!
post #7 of 136
...As for my chart, I remembered that I had a couple of days of watery cm after my O date (the one that FF gave me at least). When I added them in, it automatically changed my O date to the day I thought it was.
post #8 of 136
I forgot to add this:

Weekend Wrap up
Name: GrapesBunch
Age: 27
TTC #: 1
Trying Since: August 08
CD: 32
DPO (if applicable): 6
Plan for this Cycle: Nothing...just trying to chill til the next SA
Thoughts: So DH has another SA next Monday. He will finish up his medication Sunday, so it's perfect timing. Now I just have to hope and pray we get good results next week! I have a feeling this is going to be the longest week of my life!
post #9 of 136
Thread Starter 
MrsD08~ You totally belong here. I was wondering when I first started posting if people would think i was crazy or just "too young to be going through problems" but in turn i found a big group of women, several my age, who are going through the same things. You guys are going on your 6 month mark of TTC and finally getting a confirmed answer from the doctor proves that you should be on this thread. I don't suffer from male infertility...but there has to be something wrong when it comes to our eggs and sperm because i Oed all of those eggies last cycle and we DTD like 2 days before O the day of O and just in case the day after....and we still didn't catch ANY of the like 5 or 6 follicles that the doctor said I released!!!! I am just worried there's something more there and that we will have to do something more expensive.

ANYWAYS, like i was saying, we love having you here...and I just want you to know that you do belong here with us!!!! I think maybe my last post in the february thread came across that women who only try for a couple of cycles and start freaking out get to me...but you have a known fact that your DH has ejaculatory problems...and that makes me know you have picked the right thread with being here!!!! I probably would have gone crazy if you and the other women hadn't been on this thread...especially on the days that I have a really bad day. DH is great for being there for me and we talk about everything...but it's totally different when you finally get a woman's prospecitve on everything.

I have been so stressed out lately...and I know it's not doing anything good for my body...but the thought that i might O on my own with a VERY tiny follicle before we go to the doctor is really freaking me out!!!! With the U/S and b/w that has been done over the past 2 or 3 cycles that i've been at the RE I have a 14-17 LP and so I will O a few days before I go to the doctor according to my past couple of months!!! He says that I have irregular periods...but having one EVERY 43-45 days is pretty regular isn't it? I mean they come the same time each time that i have one....i just don't get it. I understand they are long cycles...but this is the most normal my cycles have ever been....even when I was on B/C pills I never had a period that was this consistant!!! I am just so confused...and I'm scared that I'll never be able to give my DH a child. He's 30 and i'm his first wife and he has NEVER had children or gotten anyone pregnant. But the doctor still says that his SA came back good...though I've never seen the numbers. I think i'm going to request another SA the next time we go in just to make sure the numbers are still where they are supposed to be.

Ok, now that i've rambled...i hope that eveyone has a great week. My birthday and the day after my birthday pretty much sucked for me. I got yelled at at work and they told me that they are either giving me a day off without pay or going to fire me....which really sucks. On the up side i do have an interview at another emergency dispatching place that's only 20 minutes from my house...if that....today at 330!!! I put in my application like 4 or 5 months ago and they are just now getting back to me. I really hope i can get it but there's only one spot open and there are several people going in for interviews this week. Well, i am ready for March 12th to get here so I'll just sit around and up date everyone else's stuff as the next couple of weeks go by and maybe i'll be able to have some good news by the time i head back to the RE!!!
post #10 of 136
s

Jumping back in for March!

Weekend Wrap up

Name: Vermillion
Age: 26
TTC #: 3
Trying Since:"Unprotected" since March 09, but not actively trying that whole time.
CD: 48
DPO (if applicable): ???
Plan for this Cycle: Pretty much just waiting for to make an appearance (she’s a bit more than fashionably late these days!) so I can start charting again. Another RE appointment on the 15th to see what my blood tests show (besides high prolactin which is all I know so far) and see where to go from there! I just started taking a mega dose of b6 to see if I can maybe get my prolactin levels down a bit on my own so I can maybe avoid meds.
Thoughts: Just waaaaaaaiting. *grump*
post #11 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD08 View Post
Taking the discussion about infertility from the last thread over here....
I feel bad even coming in here very often because we haven't been trying long. But, the doctor has made it official that DH is infertile, just no name to it yet. Any other ladies in this thread with Male Factor Infertility?
Yup! In fact, our MFI is so severe that we can't even use my husband's sperm at all, thus the donor sperm...

Lots of interesting emotions coming out here in the past few days. It seems like we all crave a lot more real-life support and resources. There is so much soul-searching that goes along with going through this, because it often takes so much time. I mean, I never would've thought that I'd be closing in on my 3rd year anniversary of TTC. I have a friend who got pregnant just two months before we started trying, and all through her pregnancy we talked about how if I got pregnant in X month we'd be pregnant together for X months. Now her baby is 2.5 years old! Even if I am pregnant now, our kids will be 3 years apart - not the 4 or 5 months we'd originally hoped for...

Another factor for us has been the age thing - people really don't expect me to be going through this, and even when medical professionals find out, they're really quick to comment on my age. I've had ultrasound techs, nurses, counselors, and doctors all mention my age - which I think is incredibly unprofessional. Yeah, I'm 25, and I've been trying to get pregnant since I'd just turned 23, but that doesn't make this any less severe for me. It was supposed to be easy since I'm "so young". Who knew that my husband's genes would turn out to be a complete mess?

If anyone ever said the "don't worry, just relax" line to me, they would definitely get an earful from me, because relaxing doesn't make my husband's DNA reorganize itself!

Weekend Wrap Up
Name: Laura
Age: 25
TTC #: 1
Trying Since: May 2007
CD: 22
DPO (if applicable): 4dpiui

Plan for this Cycle: Trying not to go insane waiting for next week when I can reasonably take an HPT! Also continuing acupuncture and taking royal jelly.

Thoughts: This'd better work. I know there's really only a 25% chance with each IUI, but this being our second, I'd like to think that our chances are upped even though there's no reason for that to be the case. I'd really like to see pregnancy achieved within 3-4 cycles, because we only have 12 vials of sperm from our donor and I'd like to not have to feel the pressure of only having a few vials when we go to try for #2. What would be even better is if we have enough vials left for #3! I don't like thinking about having to look for another donor, or potentially having kids coming from different donors. Ugh. This donor thing messes with my head sometimes.
post #12 of 136
Name: CharlottesWeb
Age: 29
TTC #: 2
CD: 18
DPO (if applicable): 1 maybe??
Testing: March 14th
Trying Since: March of 09
Plan for this Cycle: Clomid 100 Mg days 3-7, Ovidrel afternoon CD 15, DTD on evening of CD 15
Link to Chart (if applicable):
Thoughts:

Just looking to see if anyone is going through the same meds and plan? Any success?


__________________
post #13 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD08 View Post
Taking the discussion about infertility from the last thread over here....
I feel bad even coming in here very often because we haven't been trying long. But, the doctor has made it official that DH is infertile, just no name to it yet. Any other ladies in this thread with Male Factor Infertility?

I do hang out in the TTC boards more often. I stay away from the obsessing threads and the have I O'd yet questions, except to give simple advice.

I just feel lost...like I don't belong somewhere....

I'll do my update in another post.....
You belong here. IF is IF whether you get diagnosed after years of trying or just a few months. I really hope its something you can work with. I often feel like I don't belong on IF boards because I already have two children. But I've worked hard to have them, and I don't want IF to dictate my family any more than it already has.

It makes me sad to see so many of you in your 20's dealing with this. My sister was married at 18 (way too young!!) and started TTC in her early 20's. She was told lots & lots that they were young and it would happen. A lot of people didn't understand how she could be ready to STOP TTC when she was 28-29 and then wait until age 30 to adopt from China. But really after 8 yrs it was enough for her.

I'm still in my 2WW. I did an HPT yesterday to see if my trigger was gone, but there was still a light line. I'll check again in a few days. How long does the trigger shot take to go away for everyone here?
post #14 of 136
I am finally starting to accept this word infertility. I am going to jump back in here with you ladies over the next two months. I will be taking Clomid for the first time this month. I hear a lot of "you're young" comments constantly, like the fact that we've been trying for 2 and a half years doesn't count because I'm only 22.

So today is cd1. I am going to take 50mg of Clomid cd5-9. I am pretty nervous about it really. But still really, really hopeful.
post #15 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyRochelle View Post
I am finally starting to accept this word infertility. I am going to jump back in here with you ladies over the next two months. I will be taking Clomid for the first time this month. I hear a lot of "you're young" comments constantly, like the fact that we've been trying for 2 and a half years doesn't count because I'm only 22.

So today is cd1. I am going to take 50mg of Clomid cd5-9. I am pretty nervous about it really. But still really, really hopeful.
Welcome back! I never knew there were so many women on here who are young! This really makes me feel so much better.

Good luck with the Clomid - I haven't had any side effects from it at all, though lots of people seem to, but my experience has only been positive.
post #16 of 136
Thread Starter 
I love the response to the thread already this month and it's only the first day Let's keep it up ladies HEHE!!!


I'd like to welcome all of the new ladies and welcome back those who are back to take the ride with us again here on the IF Thread!!! Charlottesweb, and SimplyRochelle, i'm the thread keeper again this month and would like to know what yall would like added as your blurbs so I can put you up in the correct spot If you just wanna reply and I'll copy and past that would be great or just throw out your information to me and i'll put it together for ya!!! It's great to already have a wonderful turn out...i hope that this month is a GREAT month for everyone...
post #17 of 136
I hate it when people refer to age too...I will be 28 in May, but DH will only be 26 in June and when the first doctor saw his SA...he said he could be going into testicular failure which normally happens to much older men, but is not impossible or unheard of. Thankfully he does not have any other symptom of that! We go in next Monday afternoon for the SA to tell us if the count is up! Please everyone be praying with us! Every time I think about it, I feel like I need to vomit...I mean, this time next week we will either be elated that we may actually have a chance at getting pregnant or dealing with the news that we will never conceive on our own. On top of it all my SIL who I love dearly is delivering her 3rd in 2 1/2 years today...I'm praying for grace to rejoice over a new blessing but trying so hard no to be sucked into my own pity party.
post #18 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladylaura View Post
Yup! In fact, our MFI is so severe that we can't even use my husband's sperm at all, thus the donor sperm...

Lots of interesting emotions coming out here in the past few days. It seems like we all crave a lot more real-life support and resources. There is so much soul-searching that goes along with going through this, because it often takes so much time.
First off, I don't want you to think me cutting off your quoted comment above is because I don't care about all of what you said. I do care, I just wanted to comment on those things specifically and I didn't want my comment to be a novel. KWIM? I'm sorry if it offends you!

We don't even know if we'll be able to have biological children, if we'll ever conceive naturally, etc. It's all just a waiting game right now. The new doctor ordered a SA if we can get one. The big question is IF we can get one! It stinks that there's no rhyme or reason to it and we never know when it'll happen. The last time DH ejaculated was Christmas Eve of '09 and I can't even remember the time before that. The past 2 nights I really wanted to make love to just make love, not to BD, just to be close to DH. Well, Sunday night he didn't want to because we weren't sure what his schedule would be like to come home during the day to try to get the semen sample. So we didn't Sunday. I wanted to last night, but we didn't because he thinks he'll be able to come home tomorrow during the day and we're supposed to wait 48 hours or more for the sample, grrrrr. I know it sounds horrible, but in my head I was thinking "You won't ejaculate anyway, so what does it matter??". I feel horrible that I was thinking that....

Every time I want to talk about our options, DH tells me not to worry about it because we're not sure what will happen, what we'll be able to do, etc. I've been thinking about donor sperm, KD VS anonymous and I'd like to discuss it w/ DH, but like I said....ugh.

I feel like there is no one IRL that I can discuss it with! I know no one that has come forward and said they had MFI, even if I have mentioned it. And anyone that had fertility problems either have children or are going a completely different route. My best friend even doesn't understand, which is beyond ironical to me. She herself is infertile, but she doesn't get what DH and I are going through. Her body doesn't produce eggs and she has a heart problem that wouldn't allow her to carry children, so even being pregnant isn't an option for her. They went straight to adoption.

I want to be able to talk to the women in my woman's fellowship group at church, but it's a new church to me and I don't know what some of their beliefs are about ART. (Is it bad that when someone said something on TV about Art, like the class, my first thoughts were ART according to TTC?! This was weeks ago, but I just thought of it...) Plus most of the women in that group are beyond child bearing age and have already raised their families. The pastor's wife has 2 children and is pregnant w/ their 3rd, so I don't think she'd be receptive to my problems.

Like I said earlier, I feel lost.

Oh, and to top it all off...
My best friend from here who was TTC just got her BFP yesterday. I said congrats briefly, but I haven't approached her on FB about it at all. I feel like I should, but I totally am not in the mood to talk about it. Do I belong in that silly Bitter Sushi group?! I'm usually so positive and upbeat....what's happening to me? Oh, I forgot for a moment, Infertility is happening to me..........

So...anyway............
ladylaura~Are you using a KD? How did you and DH decide? What has his emotions and feelings been like for the process?
post #19 of 136
I need to vent/ask a question....(again)...in other forums we call it top posting, whatever it is here, I'm sorry I'm doing it.

ANYWAY...

The doctor officially circled infertility for our consultation appointment. Does that mean it will go to the insurance filed under IF? What if insurance doesn't want to cover it? I only work part time and I just started a work at home business. There is no other way that we can get insurance, expcept through my husband. What are we going to do if insurance won't pay????? AHHHHHHH....I'm freaking out inside....
post #20 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD08 View Post
ladylaura~Are you using a KD? How did you and DH decide? What has his emotions and feelings been like for the process?
Ugh, sounds like you're really being put through hell... and your poor husband, not knowing if he'll be able to even get an SA when the time comes!

Our decision process went as such:

June 2008: sperm count = 200,000. Urologist couldn't figure out why. We knew we'd need IVF with ICSI. (Donor sperm was mentioned but we dismissed it)
December 2008: Met with an RE who ran a blood karyotype, which revealed a chromosomal translocation (his 13 and 14 chromosomes are fused together, making cell division a nightmare if the wrong number of 13s or 14s get transferred). We'd need IVF with ICSI and PGD.
April 2009: Finally got to try IVF. The cycle was cancelled because all embryos fertilized were abnormal.

That's when we decided to give up on using his sperm. Why? Well, the IVF with PGD route was to be able to pick out the normal embryos for transfer, but with my husband's translocation, there's a 50/50 chance that the baby could end up with the same genetic condition, thus meaning that baby would be infertile, too. We knew this going into the procedure, but then after going through IVF (which was hell on my body), we decided we didn't want to put our kid through that hell and that we'd always feel guilty if we knowingly produced someone who'd have to be infertile, too. It was a risk we were no longer willing to take. It took about a week to really be able to think seriously about donor sperm. We poked around on cryobank sites and looked for blogs by people using donor sperm. We thought a lot about what makes a father, and a LOT about how my husband would feel emotionally. He was against the idea when it was brought up back in summer 2008 but changed his mind once he realized we could be putting our own child through this.

My thoughts on a known donor? There was a very, very short list of people who we're close enough to/have the right kind of genes to even be remotely considered. And of the two on the list, one would definitely not be able to emotionally disconnect from the situation in the way he'd need to. I always thought I'd want a known donor, but we decided to go with donor sperm from an open donor, so that the kids can contact the donor if they want to when they're 18.

If I were you... I'd try to get to the point of an SA, and let the doctor bring it up. If that doesn't happen, you'll have to bring it up yourself. It won't be easy to get him to consider it, but guys feel like they're losing their manhood when they find they can't get their partner pregnant. My husband would be more than happy to email with your husband if it would help at all. Guys handle all of this completely differently than we do, and they rarely talk to each other, so maybe it would help.

Definitely feel free to PM me for more info if you need to, or respond here, whatever!!
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