Howdy howdy howdy. Y'all are jumping.
As for the question of the day, I am older than DP, have 2 kids already, I'm settled and grown up, have a good job, a house and supportive family. I decided to have a baby on my own, meeting DP (Sara) was just bad timing. She is 22 and on a routine medication she can't take while pregnant. So, I'm having a baby, and she is in the strange position of being along for the ride. She very much wants a baby, knows she can't get pregnant at this stage of her life and plans to get pregnant in 2 years or so. She also plans to stick around forever, in which case, this would be her kid, too. I did mention that I already had forever and it didn't work out and I'm unwilling to share custody of a child before she's weaned, should that event ever come up again. That sounds cold doesn't it? *sigh* It may be cold, but the relationship is still so new (14 months) that it seems insane to plan a future on what it will turn into. In all fairness, my kids' mom and I were together 13 months before I decided to get knocked up the first time, but I was young and irrational then!
saracecile, Chicks rock! My girls are 2 weeks old and can already fly out of the brooder box. They are barred rock bantams, super cute! If you figure out how to keep bedding out of their water, let me know. (oh, and how many Saras are TTC now? I'm another!)
AmandaMom, The DP non-genetic thing is hard. To start, my kids have blue eyes and their other mom has brown. She has gotten some pretty confused people when they used to ask, "oh, he's beautiful, is he yours? (yes) Oh, his eyes are lovely, do you have contact lenses in them? (infant)" So anything can tip people off, it's crazy. I don't think she gets much of that now that we're seperated, tho. Not that that's any help to your DP! But kids following you around calling you mom always prevents people from asking. On the positive side, at 7 and 4, the kids know that a donor gave us a gift to help make a baby, and they know that gift was sperm - so my coworkers are nervous inviting them to their kids' birthday parties. DS's donor is frozen and he hasn't the slightest interest. Every now and then we joke that maybe his ID number was 626 (stitch from Lilo and stitch is refered to as experiment 626). They use the word donor, tho. DD (4), will occasionally even say, "______ is my donor who helped make me and he has blue eyes and Baba has blue eyes and that's why I have blue eyes." A while ago DS said "Mama isn't my real mom, she didn't give birth to me." I know she was upset about that. (We were looking into adoption around the same time and I ask him what it meant to be a mom, and if a child came to live with us and I took care of her every day and read her stories and kissed her boo-boos, wouldn't I be her mom just like I was his? He agreed that I would be her mom in addition to her birth mom [he just couldn't give up that biological connection, doesn't feel that way about dads, tho.] and I asked him how he felt about his situation and remind him who taught him to read and who loves him with all her heart, and he recognized that indeed, she was his real mom. At that same time I gave him the word "biological" to explain the difference) At the same time, they can't really remember who gave birth to DD, and they ask frequently. I think that's because he is the spitting image of me and hears that all the time. We were really worried about "society" not recognizing her as their mom, so they got her last name and it has been no end of confusion, partially because there is a single letter difference between the 2 names. My dad still sends them cards with my last name. My health insurance company and doctors office can't figure it out, either. I don't think there is any way to really feel prepaired to be the non-bio mom. But I think once she is getting puked on and pooped on, well, it becomes undeinable.