We found ourselves pregnant with baby #4 in Novemeber of 2008. My husbands brother had suddently and unexpectedly passed away 2 months prior, and my husband's 24 year old neice was battling cancer at that time (she passed away in Januray of 2009). Being pregnant at a time of such grief was a comfort to me...knowing that the circle of life was continuing.
Baby #4 was due on August 8th, 2009. Like my other 3 pregnancies, this one was quite easy. My main complaint was the heat! I started drinking rasberry leaf tea around 28 weeks, and I drank it religiously from then on!
I was planning on having an epidrual free delivery the whole pregnancy, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. I had had epidurals with my 3 prior births, but knowing that this was my last baby, I knew that it was my last chance to experience birth without the mask of the epidural. I wanted to feel, truly feel, my body give birth to my baby.
On July 28th, I went to L&D with some contractions. I knew it wasn't time yet, but it was 105 degrees outside and I wanted to be inside where it was air conditioned! (And I'm only half kidding). At that time I was 4cm dilated, and I was having some bloody show. I got sent home, and continued to have major bloody show that night, and the next day. I was having some contractions, but nothing major. I have a heart condition that requires some extra monitoring during labor, and my doctor wanted me to come in the next day, the 30th, so he could break my water to induce labor. I didn't want to be induced, but I agreed.
The morning of the 30th I was still having tons and tons of bloody show. I was also having regular contractions, so I felt better about being 'induced' since I knew that the baby would have come that day, anway. I got to the hospital at 8am and was pleased to find that we'd be delivering in the same room that we had our 3rd baby in just 2 years prior.
My OB came in and checked me, and found that I was 5cm and contracting every 5-7 minutes. Around 11am he broke my water, and at 12pm he started me on the lowest dose of pitocin. At 12:15 the contractions were coming fast and furious, and the pitocin was turned off.
It felt like there were no warm up contractions at all - it was serious business from the word go! The pressure down below was incredible - it felt like I had to have a bm, but I was only about 7 cm at that point. I tried to labor on the toliet for awhile, but that was incredibly painful, and so I tried the ball, but again, I couldn't handle that pain in my bottom. I got back in bed where I was doing some major vocalizing through the contractions. I remember the nurse commenting on how the contracions were coming right on top of another, with not even a second in between. I felt so trapped, and helpless.
At 1:15pm I asked for the epidural, so they sat me on the side of the bed and made me sit still. That was the absolute worst part - I was 8 cm dilated, and the contractions were a constant wave. The anesthiologist tried to give me the epidural, but he couldn't get it in despite many attempts. I was sobbing hysterically, both from the pain of the contractions and the pain of the epidural shots. The doc never could get it in, and at about 1:30 the nurse asked if I had to push. I did, so I layed back down and got checked - sure enough, I was fully dilated. I was mad that I had wasted 15 minutes sitting on the side of the bed and didn't even get the epidural!
My OB came in and told me to push. By this time I was literally screaming. I couldn't stop. I told my nurse that I could not push the baby out but she assured me that I could. My OB said that the baby was turned the wrong way, and that he had to help get the baby into the right position. He had his whole hand inside of me, and I was screaming and pleading for him to get his hands out. My husband told me later that I was saying over and over "please, get our hands out of me!" At this point all I remember is choas...the baby's heart rate was dropping, I had an o2 mask on my face... it was awful.
I truly hold no ill feelings towards my OB, but it was almost like a rape at the time. I was begging for him to get out...it hurs so much worse with his hand inside. I remember pushing with all my might - not to push the baby out, but to push his hand out!
I could feel the moment the baby got in the right position. All of a sudden I felt the urge to push, really push, and it only took one time. At 1:43 Henry was born. I feel badly, because my husband was crying, and kept saying "oh, look at our baby!" but I was too exhausted to even open my eyes. There was no birth high...no elated feelings. Just pure exhaustion.
Am I glad that I did it pain med free? Yes, because I know that I would have regretted it if I hadn't. But was it the peaceful, wonderful birth I had envisioned? Absolutely not. It was the most painful experience of my life - it was violent and raw and.... not at all like I had pictured it. BUT I did it. I gave birth without the aid of pain medication. I proved a lot to myself that day. And I had a healthy, beautiful little boy. We were blessed that day, and all days.
Henry Joseph
July 30th, 2009
7lbs, 5 oz
Baby #4 was due on August 8th, 2009. Like my other 3 pregnancies, this one was quite easy. My main complaint was the heat! I started drinking rasberry leaf tea around 28 weeks, and I drank it religiously from then on!
I was planning on having an epidrual free delivery the whole pregnancy, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. I had had epidurals with my 3 prior births, but knowing that this was my last baby, I knew that it was my last chance to experience birth without the mask of the epidural. I wanted to feel, truly feel, my body give birth to my baby.
On July 28th, I went to L&D with some contractions. I knew it wasn't time yet, but it was 105 degrees outside and I wanted to be inside where it was air conditioned! (And I'm only half kidding). At that time I was 4cm dilated, and I was having some bloody show. I got sent home, and continued to have major bloody show that night, and the next day. I was having some contractions, but nothing major. I have a heart condition that requires some extra monitoring during labor, and my doctor wanted me to come in the next day, the 30th, so he could break my water to induce labor. I didn't want to be induced, but I agreed.
The morning of the 30th I was still having tons and tons of bloody show. I was also having regular contractions, so I felt better about being 'induced' since I knew that the baby would have come that day, anway. I got to the hospital at 8am and was pleased to find that we'd be delivering in the same room that we had our 3rd baby in just 2 years prior.
My OB came in and checked me, and found that I was 5cm and contracting every 5-7 minutes. Around 11am he broke my water, and at 12pm he started me on the lowest dose of pitocin. At 12:15 the contractions were coming fast and furious, and the pitocin was turned off.It felt like there were no warm up contractions at all - it was serious business from the word go! The pressure down below was incredible - it felt like I had to have a bm, but I was only about 7 cm at that point. I tried to labor on the toliet for awhile, but that was incredibly painful, and so I tried the ball, but again, I couldn't handle that pain in my bottom. I got back in bed where I was doing some major vocalizing through the contractions. I remember the nurse commenting on how the contracions were coming right on top of another, with not even a second in between. I felt so trapped, and helpless.
At 1:15pm I asked for the epidural, so they sat me on the side of the bed and made me sit still. That was the absolute worst part - I was 8 cm dilated, and the contractions were a constant wave. The anesthiologist tried to give me the epidural, but he couldn't get it in despite many attempts. I was sobbing hysterically, both from the pain of the contractions and the pain of the epidural shots. The doc never could get it in, and at about 1:30 the nurse asked if I had to push. I did, so I layed back down and got checked - sure enough, I was fully dilated. I was mad that I had wasted 15 minutes sitting on the side of the bed and didn't even get the epidural!
My OB came in and told me to push. By this time I was literally screaming. I couldn't stop. I told my nurse that I could not push the baby out but she assured me that I could. My OB said that the baby was turned the wrong way, and that he had to help get the baby into the right position. He had his whole hand inside of me, and I was screaming and pleading for him to get his hands out. My husband told me later that I was saying over and over "please, get our hands out of me!" At this point all I remember is choas...the baby's heart rate was dropping, I had an o2 mask on my face... it was awful.
I truly hold no ill feelings towards my OB, but it was almost like a rape at the time. I was begging for him to get out...it hurs so much worse with his hand inside. I remember pushing with all my might - not to push the baby out, but to push his hand out!I could feel the moment the baby got in the right position. All of a sudden I felt the urge to push, really push, and it only took one time. At 1:43 Henry was born. I feel badly, because my husband was crying, and kept saying "oh, look at our baby!" but I was too exhausted to even open my eyes. There was no birth high...no elated feelings. Just pure exhaustion.
Am I glad that I did it pain med free? Yes, because I know that I would have regretted it if I hadn't. But was it the peaceful, wonderful birth I had envisioned? Absolutely not. It was the most painful experience of my life - it was violent and raw and.... not at all like I had pictured it. BUT I did it. I gave birth without the aid of pain medication. I proved a lot to myself that day. And I had a healthy, beautiful little boy. We were blessed that day, and all days.
Henry Joseph
July 30th, 2009
7lbs, 5 oz
