May '09 Mamas - Feeling Lucky in March! - Page 11

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by Peppermint Poppies

Kelly - good luck with the nightweaning. I'm planning on doing Jay Gordon when Darcy turns 1, so I'll be interested in hearing how things go for you. I'm not pregnant, so I really don't have any excuse, but I just can't handle the sleep deprivation for much longer. And I feel like I owe it to my nearly-3 yr old to have some energy for him during the day.

Blessed Mom, he should show up if you Google him. He's a ped who's "into" the family bed and APing, basically.
THANK YOU for telling me that he has a night weaning protocol. I'm going to try it with DS2, I think. I am SO tired between waking up for DS3 AND waking up for DS2. I seriously feel insane from lack of sleep some days.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Auraji

Kelly- I love the pictures of the park and OMG I love her outfit! SO CUTE! How is your pregnancy going BTW? Im excited for you, but at the same time I remember how TIRED I was in the early months and how crazy and active Sophia is now and well I just feel like hugging you.

I'm 15 weeks today and a lot of that icky first-trimester stuff is going away, so I'm starting to feel better... bring on that second tri and springtime!

We were all so hungry and since they were paying I felt weird about ordering stuff, she was talking to the waitress right next to me ordering a million and one appetizers and they all had meat. I was asking if she could order something without meat for DP, DD and I (she knows we dont eat meat) she completely ignored me and ordered like 15 meat appetizers and then when they all came and I asked is there anything without meat, she just said no. She didnt say no, but you can order something.

Oh man, sounds like you have a real winner there.

Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom

What (or who?) is Jay Gordon? Details please

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html




Last night was amazingly good. Like too good to be true. She woke up twice, each time we nursed for a minute, then broke off and I rubbed her back a little and put her belly-to-belly on top of me, and she went right back to sleep with little to no fussing. I feel like this has to be a fluke.

[Novus]

Kelly--glad it's going so well!

So I went out to a friend's house last night and got back at about 11:30. Luke is usually asleep by 8:30, so of course, I expected him to be in bed. Instead, I walked in the door to find him sitting with DH...watching Terminator

Apparently, his cold was keeping him up, so we finally got him to sleep at about 1 in the morning, and then he was up nursing every hour...luckily, I slept through most of it. Here's hoping he's feeling better tonight.

[cheryllynn]

OceanEve - hope your finger is doing better - that sounds like it hurts.

It's going to be a great week here weather-wise and I'm stuck at work. DH has today and tomorrow off. It's sunny and 60 / 70 degrees out which is extremely nice for Minnesota. Although we could still get a snowstorm for the next few weeKs. I think the latest snow storm we've had is April 15th or so.

I went through Olivia's clothes and pulled out all the ones that were too small. It's so sad to see these cute outfits being packed away. However, I pulled out the tub of 12 - 18 month clothes and she has a stack of adorable outfits. A few pairs of 9 month pants were mis-placed with the 12-18 month clothes and that's too bad. We needed pants two months ago. Now I think they're too small.

Olivia crawling is just the cutest thing! If we want to show off her crawling all we have to do is pull out a cell phone. She is on all fours and making a beeline right for that phone. Nothing else gets her to move that fast. She is spending more time standing without holding on to anything. Yesterday she stood and clapped. It was sooo cute! We posted that video on fb. I might put it on YouTube so my non fb friends can see it. I wish I knew how to edit those videos so I can cut off the first part and/or the last part.

Olivia is officially weaned too. She doesn't seem to miss the breast at all. I'm still torn, missing b/f but excited to get healthier again. I need to start taking herbs and cleansing protocols that I could not while b/f. We also have been extra-blessed with donor milk, so I know she'll be on the good stuff until she is one. YEAH!

and we're dealing with colds, cough, runny noses too. It's heard for Olivia to sleep sometimes. We put her in the car seat for naps. She is able to sleep there for about two hours.

[ReadingRenee]

Just jumping in, its hard to keep up with this thread!

Samara is almost 10.5 mos old now and she is taking steps between furniture and yesterday she took one step to me without falling but the next step she was back down on her bottom. SHe has been standing unassisted more and more and like you said Cheryl, will stand and clap. SOooo cute!

The big thing is that the baby weight for me is finally starting to drop! I spent like 30 minutes in my closet today just trying on my old jeans and running back and forth to the mirror to confirm that they did in fact fit. They are still a little tighter than I would normally wear them but Its not too far off for them fitting. The thing is I finally got AF and it seems like when I did all of a sudden my appetite went back to pre nursing and pre pregnancy. Its crazy! Samara is still nursing quite a bit and still at night so I was surprised to get AF back but if my weight going back down is a side effect Im all for it! Has this happened to anyone else? I thought I just held onto weight til I was done nursing because of dd1 but I realized with her that AF came back about 6 mos before she weaned, so maybe what I thought was weight loss because of weaning was weight loss because of AF. I don't know, its crazy but Im happy to feel back to my normal self.

I used Dr. Jaygordon to nightwean dd1 and it worked out great. A few rough nights, but she was ready. I think she was closer to a year and a half though... but I can't remember anymore.

[lil_miss_understood]

OceansEve Sorry for the finger. Hope it heals quickly. Please feel free to join us over in The Thyroid Thread. I know we have some people with hyperthyroidism over there. Have you been tested for antibodies? Are you supplementing iodine?
Marius has been taking 2-3 steps now intermittently. He's so cute. He likes to "beat up on" his big brothers- he grabs them by the hair and then tries to bite them. That's not so cute (well, everything he does is cute, but we discourage that because it won't be cute for long ). He also likes books. I'm so in love with him.

eta: I've lost about 15 lbs in the last 3 months, despite my thyroid levels being messed up. I've been doing The Bottoms Up workout twice a week.
And still no AF here.

[lil_miss_understood]

Help!
Someone stole my baby and replaced him with a toddler!!

Okay, not quite... but close!!

[j_p_i]

Jacqueline! I've been feeling that way too! It's exciting and scary at the same time, like where did the time go?! But it's so much fun too

Something not so fun - Olivia has both eye teeth coming in... One might be through and the other right behind it. She has been super clingy and fussy the past few days, poor girl.

[Auraji]

I know what you mean Jacqueline. Has your baby started throwing tantrums? Sophia gets mad and throws herself back and goes "a buuuu buu buuu buu" when she's mad because she wants something, like go get grown up books or eat dvds. I usually try to distract her with being silly, a song, a dance, let's jump and play, swing, spin.

These past days have been rough! I think I've told you before that I had a toothache where I had a root canal done, but I was ok, it hurts, but Im gonna wait until Im done nursing or whatever. Well on Sat night it started REALLY hurting, it's the last molar on my bottom right and it's now lose and it hurts so much. I got an appt on Thursday, it's the closest they could squeeze me in, but on top of that both Sophia and I have a cold and she's so congested. Yesterday she couldnt nurse and it even made me cry, because she would try but couldnt. I made another thread about that. And everytime I sneeze I hurt my tooth and then last night I got the worse cramps and then got my period and Im like "nooooo, what is with this pain cocktail?". It wouldnt be so bad if DD wasnt sick too, but that makes everything so much more difficult.

Also I feel kinda resentful towards DP. He had a meeting with dss's mom last night she was saying she needs more financial help with dss. It's not that I dont want him to help, but I just think what he agreed to, to avoid conflict is not fair. Her alone makes more money than DP, her husband works and they live at her husband's dad house and pay no rent. He now has agreed to pay 150$, that's what daycare would be if he'd go everyday, but I usually watch him 2-3 days a week and will continue to do so. She will still claim him on her taxes every year. I know she does spend a lot of money on dss (because she buys him a million and one things, he probably owns more things than DP, DD and I combined) and I think DP should definitely provide financial help like he has always done and continue to be very involved with dss but not the point that we'll have no money for anything, but he doesnt make that much money every month
. We were already always struggling to get by and Im not sure about what we're gonna do now. I guess Ill have to start looking for a job real soon. And maybe if we do move and start saving money on rent and bills. I dont know, I've been like scrambling for money to get DD clothes for the past weeks, to buy her used clothes on ebay. I dont know, I've been on the other side too. My dad always paid for our everything, but my dad is rich and I know what he gave us didnt affect his lifestyle at all, on the contrary it was probably very little and he had nothing to do with us. There was no going there every weekend or every other weekend. Maybe on a holiday he'll invite us or something, but that was it. DP is now practically giving a third of his paycheck every month. Maybe that is what people spend on child support? But since it's not a legal arragement I dont think we can even claim that as an expense every month to get more help from the goverment or can we?

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Auraji

Also I feel kinda resentful towards DP. He had a meeting with dss's mom last night she was saying she needs more financial help with dss. It's not that I dont want him to help, but I just think what he agreed to, to avoid conflict is not fair. Her alone makes more money than DP, her husband works and they live at her husband's dad house and pay no rent. He now has agreed to pay 150$, that's what daycare would be if he'd go everyday, but I usually watch him 2-3 days a week and will continue to do so. She will still claim him on her taxes every year. I know she does spend a lot of money on dss (because she buys him a million and one things, he probably owns more things than DP, DD and I combined) and I think DP should definitely provide financial help like he has always done and continue to be very involved with dss but not the point that we'll have no money for anything, but he doesnt make that much money every month
. We were already always struggling to get by and Im not sure about what we're gonna do now. I guess Ill have to start looking for a job real soon. And maybe if we do move and start saving money on rent and bills. I dont know, I've been like scrambling for money to get DD clothes for the past weeks, to buy her used clothes on ebay. I dont know, I've been on the other side too. My dad always paid for our everything, but my dad is rich and I know what he gave us didnt affect his lifestyle at all, on the contrary it was probably very little and he had nothing to do with us. There was no going there every weekend or every other weekend. Maybe on a holiday he'll invite us or something, but that was it. DP is now practically giving a third of his paycheck every month. Maybe that is what people spend on child support? But since it's not a legal arragement I dont think we can even claim that as an expense every month to get more help from the goverment or can we?

I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.

That's exactly what I think. Well dss' mom claims she's losing her job, but she just started her maternity leave, so I dont know what that's about.
And we do receive WIC and Medicaid Insurance.

Im gonna make a thread there and see what they tell me.

[lil_miss_understood]

I agree with Kelly. It needs to be a legal arrangement. And yes, she could go for back-pay if it's not legally arranged and recorded.

[j_p_i]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.

I was going to say the same thing here. I would definitely make it legal, and then perhaps a more fair arrangement could be made. It seems like you and DP have an amicable relationship with DSS's mom, but you just never know. My DH has kids from a prior marriage. They lived with him for several years. At one point his ex got angry and filed for back child support. He couldn't prove that the kids didn't live with him, and it took him YEARS to pay off the thousands of dollars... we actually just finished paying it a few months ago.

Not that this is something that would happen to anyone else, just a bit of experience (maybe you could share with your DP if he doesn't think it's necessary) to please be careful.

Good luck with everything, sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now Auraji!

[major_mama11]

If I remember right, I think we used a modified Jay Gordon plan when I night-weaned DD when she was 2. We would give her a sippy of water, and DH would walk with her. Lots of screaming for a few nights, but DH pretty much took over night-time parenting for her at that point, which was great. It was nice getting full-nights of sleep for a while, before DS came along!

Crazy how our babies seem to be turning into toddlers overnight!

DS has been saying a few more words, although not nearly as verbal as DD was at this age. He says "ah-doo" for Thank You, and calls his sister Jubilee "oo-wee". He has been practicing his walking skills, but he still only walks about 5 or 6 steps before he falls down on his little bum.

DS is super cranky, but I think it's more due to me being gone a lot lately for some cross-training at work than to teething or anything. I'm really looking forward to going back to very PT at work like I was before. Unless of course DH's work keeps going downhill, in which case I may have no choice other than to look for FT work. I'm really hoping his work will pick up again this summer.

Auraji, have you posted on Frugality and Finances about the child support thing? I have found a lot of good advice on various issues over there...

[cheryllynn]

We're also dealing with child support issues. I think the laws depend on the state.
In Minnesota, child support for one child is 25% of an adjusted figure - so you can take out 401k and some other expenses, then support is 25% of that number.
It does not depend on how many days spent where.
If step parent is remarried the new spouse's income is NOT included in anything. It is just the bio mom & dad's income.
Arguing over who gets to claim child on taxes isn't pretty. Technically it is the parent who provides > 50% of cost, but determining costs can be highly subjective, especially if one parent lives in a very expensive house.

No tantrums here yet. At least not from DD.

No teeth either ... I am still in love with her toothless grin. I must take more pictures before teeth start appearing. (no toothless big smile smiley).

Jacqueline - great job on the weight loss!

DD is doing more standing & cruising. No independent steps yet. She still has a cold and stuffy nose. We use essential oils and chinese medicine and changed it up yesterday. Here's hoping the new oils and tincture will clear out this cold.

[Novus]

Luke still has his cold too. The only symptom he has is a runny nose.

And he can throw quite the tantrum...so not looking forward to the toddler years! I mean, how do they even know to let their body hang like a limp noodle when they're throwing a fit???

Auraji--sorry you guys are dealing with all this. I have no advice, just hugs.

[OceansEve]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

Now I must go pack more, every day we get closer to staying with DH's mom for a few months before the apartment in Maine is done, I feel a little bit worse about the decision to stay with her...Giving up so much independence and plus she drives me crazy...Ah MIL's I know I'm not the only one who feels that way!

At least she is a supportive MIL. I have my isues with my MIL but she really is a thoughtful person who wants to be involved. So it could be worse, you could have a bump on the log MIL, my sister's MIL went to my niece's recital and congratulated the wrong kid at the end thinking it was my niece

Originally Posted by j_p_i

Anyone else have a "shoveler"? As in, she just shovels food bits into her mouth, sometimes chews them, sometimes just sucks on them and spits them out, and sometimes (this is where I feel concerned), she tries to swallow, kind of gags and then spits up a bunch!

Yep, Anna is a shoveler. It's fun to watch, but since I'm on my third now the gagging doesn't scare me as much. Somewhere I heard/read that as long as they are making a noise when they gag it up, don't worry, they'll learn how to do it properly. If there is no noise and they are gagging, that's when you need to step in and help.

Kelly1101 - the pics are awesome! I wish I was secure enough to back carry more

Originally Posted by Auraji

"I never went anywhere with any of my kids until they were 5, it's too hard, they get all whacked out".

I hate when people say that. I personally find it easier, then again I'm not phased by the people who have a problem with the meltdowns

Originally Posted by Novus

So I went out to a friend's house last night and got back at about 11:30. Luke is usually asleep by 8:30, so of course, I expected him to be in bed. Instead, I walked in the door to find him sitting with DH...watching Terminator

that is so my DH!

cheryllynn - send me some of your clothes organizing energy! I need to go through my girls' DESPERATELY!

ReadingRenee - for weight loss!

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

Help!
Someone stole my baby and replaced him with a toddler!!

Okay, not quite... but close!!

thanks for the thyroid info! Iodine is tasty, Selenium is worse than I remembered

Auraji - no advice just

tantrums - yes, Anna can and will throw a tantrum at any time, most of the day I have no idea where she gets this stong willed opinionated personality from

[Auraji]

Thanks everyone for your advices and your support. I got very overwhelmed, still am, but been thinking a lot of ways to make this new situation work. I was going to tell DP that giving Dss mom 30$ more every week didnt sound bad at all, because that's how she put it "since daycare is 120$ (when he goes 4 days which RARELY happens), you can give me 150$ every week", but that I didnt think it was fair if I watched him must of the week to still give her 150$, specially since Im the one watching dss, like I dont watch him just because of money. I prefer him coming here than going to his daycare which I dont like at all, but at the same time it's kinda frustrating to know that he's here and the money we could be saving wont be for me to be able to buy better food or get my daughter some pajamas, etc.

Either way next month I was planning on getting a job either way. My MIL is supposed to take to get my driver's permit and all that. Im looking at cheaper apts to live in, in this same area. Our plans to move to Mt. Airy will have to wait since we'll only have one car available for now. Once I start working their arragement will no longer work, so I dont know if she'll expect DP to give her even more money. Im sure she'll be like "It wont be a problem now that Aura's working", but I'd hate to be working and STILL be struggling to get by every month, YKWIM? Dss also turns 5 in October, so I dont know if he starts school this fall or next one?
I'll go to the frugality and finances. I do need to be better at our economics. I need to make a new budget and manage our money better.

And OceansEve I'd never understand people who dont want to be out with their kids. It's like how are they gonna learn about the world if you dont take them anywhere?

Sophia was really sick, but she's doing much better. Tomorrow I have an appoinment at the dentist. Im a bit scared, I always get nervous.

Dss's mom had her baby yesterday and dss has been here ever since. Today he went to see him and he was telling me all about how Sophia was tiny like him, but now she's growing up like he is, but not quite lol, both her and the baby are doing well. He's going again to see them tomorrow. I think he's gonna be here for 1-2 weeks because she had a c-section.
She ha

[Auraji]

Oh and shoveler too hahahahaha, never heard the term before lol

[~Katie~]

Haven't posted in a bit but I'm reading I had a big long post done yesterday and somehow closed out of it.

MIL's - I have a reformed monster-in-law, she really had no choice. We had a smack down, drag out fight a few years ago and she realized she either needed to shape up or not have a relationship with us. The first few years with DH were absolute hell because she was constantly sabotaging our relationship. Every once in a while we still have issues but it's much easier to get it out in the open now. It has helped the entire family to be more honest about everything, as they're the type to shove things under the rug. My IL's are like my adoptive parents now since I don't have a relationship with my own.

Teeth - 4 teeth now and working on some more, it seems after the first the rest are a little easier.

Tantrums - Laine is very predictable with meltdowns. In the late afternoon she's very particular about what she wants to do, she either likes sitting in her high chair or being held but refuses to be on the floor playing. She doesn't like clothing or diaper changes for sure.

I finally got Laine's SS# in the mail today. It took so long because I was waiting on paperwork to prove that she's actually my baby and she came out of my vagina and not someone else's Good to finally have it and just in time to get taxes done.

Also went today and got good blackout curtains for both kid's rooms, hopefully that will get me a little more sleep. I ordered a white noise machine for Liam's room and if I like it I'm going to get one for Laine as well to replace her giraffe. Every night is such a struggle with Liam because he's in and out of bed for hours even though he's half asleep. It doesn't help that my back is in extreme pain lately from carrying Laine after her growth spurt.

Andrew will be leaving for home very soon, we'll either see him in about a week or a little less than two, all depends on what his travel schedule is like. I really won't know anything until he's on his way. Super excited, I really can't wait to have somewhat of a normal family again