Will you find out the sex in advance? - Page 2

[JessieBird]

I don't think we will. We didn't with DS and the surprise was wonderful. I never felt impatient or curious to know, it was as if it wasn't even an option though we did have a 20-week ultrasound. Our families gave us heck (there are some shopaholics on DH's side who were particularly miffed) but in the end they were excited about the surprise too. It's not as if you can't shop after the baby is born.

EVERYONE told us that DS would be a boy because of how I was carrying (straight out in front like a torpedo). Somehow I never let it sink in though and I never had a strong feeling one way or another and so I was still surprised when he arrived.

This time though I'm starting to feel that this one is a boy. If I get too fixated on that, then maybe I'll change my mind and find out. My cousin was convinced her baby was a boy and she had a hard time adjusting when she turned out to be a girl. She wasn't disappointed, just weirded out for a few days. I don't want to go through that.

[sunwillshine]

Definitely finding out. We're way to neurotic not to know. We plan to do mostly gender-neutral jewel tones for most stuff, but that's not the point for us. We have our names picked out and want to start using one or the other! Plus, DP thinks it will help her bond before the arrival. Finally, if we get a Sophie, there will likely be some giraffe stuff I want to do in the nursery, and I want that all done before the arrival.

(And, for the record, I'm pretty sure it's Sophie in there. Lol!)

[blue butterfly]

i am so on the fence with this one. dh wants to and i'm 50/50, so theirs your indecisive answer from me, lol

[jezebelle]

I agree about the gender stereotyping, but we are still finding out. I just won't tell anyone I suspect will buy me a lot of gender-extreme items (like my completely mainstream extended family). We've already picked up a few cute articles of clothing, but they are mixed, gender-wise. Some are blue and have little baseballs on them, some are yellow with cute little eye-lashed giraffes. I also got a cute green coat that is "for girls." Just nothing pink because I am not a fan of pink stuff. I want to know so that we can finalize a name choice, and so that I will know which of my friends and family were right when they guessed.

[mistymama]

Yes, I will find out. It has nothing to do with buying for a certain sex - and for me, everything to do with bonding. I want to be able to call this baby by his/her name and visualize life with him/her. Knowing the sex helps me bond.

[xtara2003x]

Originally Posted by mistymama

Yes, I will find out. It has nothing to do with buying for a certain sex - and for me, everything to do with bonding. I want to be able to call this baby by his/her name and visualize life with him/her. Knowing the sex helps me bond.

[lotusma]

yeah, as some have mentioned, it will be so much easier to stress over just one name instead of two. i know it's early still, but i'm so clueless at this point and i'm actually pretty worried about it!

[Motherto4]

We won't. We havn't with our other 4 and won't this time. It's just so much fun to see it with your own eyes in person. With our first my husband got to carry him into the Nursery and unwrap him and show everyone! It was a lot of fun!

We just pick out 2 names and take a gender neutral outfit to the Hospital and thats that!!!

[lillysmom07]

Not really sure yet, DH really wants to know but I dont we found out with our DD at 21 weeks that she was a girl. I would like to be able to say "its a boy" or "its a girl" at the birth I think that would be amazing but if we find then we find out I guess.

[hyz]

I can hardly wait until 20 weeks, I want to know NOW!!!! lol. I really don't know how people wait--I'll second the "I'm too neurotic to wait" sentiment. On a practical level, I'm obsessed with names and DH hates discussing them, so it will really minimize friction if we only have to discuss gil OR boy names. I also want to start getting the baby's room ready, and I don't want to be limited to gender neutral stuff. I was also on the "I hate pink and blue" wagon last time. When we found out we were having a girl, I told everyone not to buy pink stuff or frilly stuff--I always hated pink. And actually, after we found out she was a girl, we painted her room blue. It's so relaxing and pretty--I love it. I really wanted to stick to basically gender neutral stuff--but the thing is, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of stuff out there that is really gender neutral--plain pastel green and yellow and white just get boring after awhile, to me, anyway. And if you try to go beyond pastels, it mostly seems that what's out there is violently ugly pinks and purples for girls and annoying primary colors for boys anyway. Most things have flowers or butterflies or baseballs or dinosaurs on them--these things are made with the explicit intent of NOT being gender neutral, making the "gender neutral" pickings pretty slim. It's super annoying. I don't know--it just seems that, by knowing the sex, you can start getting the least objectionable gender specific stuff, rather than filling the drawers with all yellow and green. And you know, people didn't listen to us, and DID buy our DD pink stuff--but some of it's not too bad. Pink is actually growing on me. lol.

[CherryBomb]

Personally, I love pink I've loved having three girls! I'm not into frilly stuff, but pink rules. We don't have hardly any "gender neutral" clothing, so if this one is a boy, I have a lot of shopping to do. Which will be hard because dh and I aren't into sports and that kind of stuff. Cute boy clothes are hard to find.

[orandalady]

We're going to let it be a surprise! We both think it would be fun to wait and share the excitement at the actual birth. It might drive my mother crazy, though- she's already pestering me about it. Even more reason not to find out

[FireWithin]

for my first, we really thought we were having a girl. The tech thought it might be a boy but was non committal. A week before the birth, I thought it was a boy. Our oldest is a boy.

For our second, the tech told us a girl. We picked out a girl's name and half heartedly picked out a boy's name. The day before the birth, we had to go to the hospital to fill out forms consenting to the c-section. It was a horrible miserable experience. All I did was cry. After that we went to our mw's to get the tech to confirm breech position. The confirmation was done and we mentioned that we couldn't wait to see our Stella. I cleaned up and the tech paused and said, "did you say Stella?, well what I saw might be a swollen labia, but I'm not sure, let's check again." Not a swollen labia, infact a testicle and a very prominent penis. We went home, forced to think about our boy rather than feel sad about having a section. We thought of a new name and took 20 hours to really adjust to having a boy. The next day our Max was born.

This time, I don't want to find out. I don't believe I will trust the tech anyway. I also want to pick our my own girly clothes and not get tons of clothes other's think are cute. We are hoping for a girl, but I think three boys in my life would be a wonderful wild and crazy experience.

[sunwillshine]

Just felt the need to mention that we already got some newborn clothing hand-me-downs... most "gender neutral" but quite a few items featuring tractors, baseball bats, and other "boy" things.

I'm sure a little Sophie (if that's what we're having) won't mind one bit sporting a onesie with farm equipment on it. We sure won't. Lol.

And, if we were lucky enough to get "girl" hand-me-downs from some kind friend or family member, I don't think we'd think twice about putting our infant boy in a butterflies or pink hearts onesie, either.

... this is, of course, coming from a girl who was quite the tomboy growing up. Lol. I got more than a few "boy" hand-me-downs, even in grade school. But yeah, the "gendered" stuff (regardless of baby's sex) doesn't really bother me in the least. Our nursery is likely going to be jewel-toned and fairly "neutral..." but I'll take free when I can get it, darn it!

[hyz]

Responding to Lyndzies, I used to feel that way too, not worrying so much about putting flowers on boys or dinosaurs on girls. I mean, those items aren't inherently gendered, right? But I tend to feel awkward pretty easily in social situations, and even the gender neutral (much less "cross gender") clothes seemed to cause a lot of awkwardness. Like, in public, everyone wants to compliment your baby, which is nice, but they seem to assume that if the child is NOT dressed head to toe in pink, it must be a boy. I mean, you can't tell if an infant is a girl or boy just by looking, so people look for cues (which is probably why most infant clothes seem to be so infuriatingly and emphatically "gendered"). So they say, "oh, what a handsome little guy he is, what's his name?" or whatever, and I'm forced to say, "oh, thanks, her name is Ivy." And then they look confused, followed by embarrassed, followed frequently by what I interpret as a somewhat accusing look for "cross-dressing" my child and misleading them into this uncomfortable situation, and they say, "oh, uh, sorry, I just thought because of the... well, uh, she's a really pretty baby.... [awkward trailing off]". Once or twice, no big deal, but it seemed to happen ALL.THE.TIME. and I'd rather just avoid the discomfort. It made me want to paste a pretty bow to her nearly bald little head as a clear sign. Actually, though, I started trying to make sure she had some identifiably girly item on most of the time--like, socks with flowers (this was before she was wearing shoes, so socks were generally visible), or even a girly blankie if her outfit had no pink/butterflies/flowers/hearts. Sad, but true. I caved to avoid social discomfort.

Actually, now that she's a little older (18 months) I feel like we have more freedom with clothes because her hair is longer. So I can put her in navy pants and a grey sweatshirt or whatever, but she has a little ponytail, so no confusion (usually) ensues.

[sunwillshine]

hyz - I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from.

Maybe part of my thinking is a result of the fact that DP can be mistaken for "sir" sometimes... not often, but definitely sometimes; so ,I guess we're used to it??

Then again, as with most things, I'm keeping an open mind. I know it's impossible to tell for sure how I'll feel until the little guy/girl is here.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

Which will be hard because dh and I aren't into sports and that kind of stuff. Cute boy clothes are hard to find.

Do you like animals? I've found a lot of cute puppy, bear, frog, etc stuff for DS. Also, airplanes and trucks, which I'm not a huge fan of, but now that DS is old enough to voice his opinion... yeah. He has truck shirts.

[AmBam]

Nope, we've never found out(on purpose) and won't with this one either. I won't even have an U/S most likely anyway.

With my 2nd baby, my mw was concerned about twins, so we had an U/S at 21 weeks to rule that out. We told the tech we didn't want to know the sex, but she accidentally scanned the area. She tried to cover it up by saying it was just a cord, but we knew better. He was definately a boy! I was actually kind of annoyed!

[ILovePie]

Originally Posted by Lyndzies

hyz - I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from.

Maybe part of my thinking is a result of the fact that DP can be mistaken for "sir" sometimes... not often, but definitely sometimes; so ,I guess we're used to it??

Then again, as with most things, I'm keeping an open mind. I know it's impossible to tell for sure how I'll feel until the little guy/girl is here.

We had DS in swim trunks and a button-down plaid shirt last spring, and two older ladies asked if he was a boy or girl. We said "boy" and they said he was "too pretty to be a boy." They kept saying that, over and over. I didn't really care - he is a gorgeous little kid. But it was just so strange that they were sort of insisting he couldn't be a boy! So, you know, dress them gendered and TELL people they're one sex and they'll be weirdos anyway. :

[tanyab]

Although I don't want to, my friend had her twenty week us today and found out what she is having. Kinda made me want to find out early too.