I'm tired of tandem nursing

[OTMomma]

I never had a desire to tandem nurse- it seemed like "Extreme Breast-feeding" to me, even after nursing my first child for 3 years. Fastforward, I have now been tandem nursing for 6 months, and I'm ready to wean my toddler. I'm just tired. We night weaned my ds recently, because after the baby came, he was waking up more than she was- and that helped for a while, but I'm once again feeling like running away when ds asks to nurse. But I just don't know how to stop.

How do I help my toddler wean without feeling rejected when I'm going to be nursing the baby in front of him? This week I added a rule that he can only nurse in bed, to try to help him cut back, he hasn't argued about dd getting to nurse elsewhere, but I don't know what the next step will be.

[annekh23]

I've never tandem nursed as I dried up very early in pregnancy with my first then had a larger gap between babies, but I'm nursing a 9mth old right now and I really identify with the "I'm tired" bit of your post, my oldest is younger than yours and my middle one older than your middle one, but I'm guessing the demands on us from our families are fairly similar, what I'm trying to say is are you really tired of tandem nursing or are you just tired, are you crawling up the wall when you nurse your toddler, or is this really an everything problem, not a tandem nursing problem. It's possible nursing is actually helping not hindering.

[pbjmama]

I replied in the other thread about weaning a 3 yo. I weaned my ds at 3.5 after tandem for 16 months. It can be done and can be done gently. It sounds like you are putting great limits in place. I also did alot of big boys can do things like xyz but babies get mamas milk. I let my ds choose things but of course I made the choices tempting for him. Do you want to go out with dad or stay home so you can have mama milk? I also set time limits on actual nursing sessions.

[OTMomma]

Thanks for the thoughts pbjmama.

I thought last night about if nursing is helping us any right now, and honestly, its not. The only benefits to it I'm seeing, are the health benefits for ds from the milk- but its not helping us through our day. I kept nursing through pregnancy because it was the one way to get ds to take a nap, but he's now giving up napping, and when he does take a nap he wakes up SO hateful- its just not good. His latch has somehow gotten weird and nursing actually hurts me. In general, he is happy to be comforted other ways when he is hurt- though he was recently sick and asked to nurse constantly. He has a very hard time dealing with limits on nursing, he will actually physically fight with me trying to get to the breast after I've told him he's had enough or asked him to wait. I really really hate nursing both children at the same time, but ds will argue that I have 2 breasts, one for him and one for Anna- but nursing both at once gives me "want to jump out of my skin" feeling, and has from day one.

I want to help my ds through this lovingly, but I'm not sure how to do that. Weaning my first was not easy, but it was a very different experience due to her personality.

[HappyFox05]

Hang in there Laura, you're not alone! Nursing our 27 month old DD has been giving me that "crawl out of my skin" feeling for a few months. Almost every nursing session ends with a fight & crying on one or both sides. to you.

[OTMomma]

Well, my ds now has the flu, and the only thing he'll eat or drink is mama milk, so today I'm glad for the healthy benefits, because he is pitiful. I guess we will be nursing a while longer.

Thanks for the hug.