Will my baby starve himself? What can i do?

[Alisse]

Ds is 5months old and will not drink EBM or formula. I was supposed to go back to work a couple of weeks ago but have delayed. I'm at my wit's end. I've tried every bottle/nipple, sippy cups, spoons, cups. Grandma, aunties, husband have all tried. I have been leaving him with his grandma everyday now for a week for 5hours; he'll eat some pear and banana puree but only once and will cry until i pick him up. I've delayed going back to work because it'll entail being away from him for 9-10hours, 4-5 days a week...he's going to starve?!!! I'm so stressed out and don't know what to do.

My mother has suggested stop breastfeeding entirely and force him to accept formula. Mamas, tell me there's a better solution?!!!!!! I just can't afford to continue not working much longer!!!

[beebalmmama]

Bumping

Sorry I don't have any ideas as I never had to pump for my babes. I hope someone else has a solution for you. I wouldn't consider your mother's suggestion. You mentioned he won't accept formula either anyway.

Good luck.

[PlayaMama]

formula is obviously not the answer since he won't take a bottle and the bottle is the problem, not what's in it. that must be so hard mama!

i pumped for my dd but she took to a bottle right away, i did end up quitting because i couldn't find trustworthy child care.

you must be so stressed

[teachma]

btdt X3! So I know how stressed you must feel. I have gone back to work full time after each of my three babies, and none ever accepted so much as an ounce of anything from a bottle. My first was 14 weeks when I returned to my 9 hour days at work, my second was 5 months, and my third was 8.5 months. The first two completely reverse-cycled, taking in 100 percent of their nourishment from 4:00 pm until 7 am, when I left for work. The third has taken to a sippy cup and drinks about 6 oz while I am away. The othr two were just fine as soon as they learned to shift their schedules and do all of their eating in the late afternoon, nighttime and early morning. It's tiring for a mom but totally doable for the babe.

[CeciMami]

My DS was the same way...he ate when I was around (constantly) and didn't take a bottle for a while although he did eventually, I guess when he got hungry enough! You must feel very stressed about this but if you need to go back to work, you need to go back and your little one will adjust.

[claddaghmom]

Yeah, babies want to survive. It's a primal drive they can't consciously ignore. He will eat when hungry.

You could ask his grandma to try feeding him with a dropper or with a regular cup. DD was able to drink water out of regular cups at that age and rather enjoyed it.

If he won't take a bottle, then I don't get why formula would help. I would hazard to guess that most babies who had milk first abhor formula, so that would only make the situation worse.

[texmati]

just a few ideas--

have you tried a medicine dropper?

have you checked your milk for lipase?

how fresh is the ebm when you give it to him? excess lipase can make your milk taste a little off, and your baby may not take it.

And I'm sure you already do this, but I'd feed your baby at grandma's before and after leaving him if possible.

[hotharmony]

I just want to say again

WEANING IS NOT THE ANSWER!!! It will make the problem worse

I don't know if you have ever had the pleasure of tasting formula but it's gross and most babies who are not introduced to it early will reject it all together. Your baby won't starve, babies of that age only need about 25oz per day so he/she can easily get that by reverse cycling at night. I would suggest co sleeping and your LO will get used to taking a bottle eventually or a cup.

[tzs]

not true about the formula comments.

i tried for 3 months with every bottle out there to get my babe to drink ebm from a bottle. the only thing that worked is formula. and her first taste was at 4 months. i think it's b/c the bottle is not the boob, so she gets mad when ebm is in there. but formula is so different that she'll take it.

to the OP....sorry no good advice, but hugs.
the eyedropper thing sounds like a good idea. i mean, they'll take meds that way so why not food???

[Alisse]

My mother's logic was to not only start the formula, but to also get a Rx to stop lactating so that my ds would have no choice, (ie. her thinking was that if there was choice, he'll hold out for the boob).

I've tried the dropper and flexible cup.

I do have a lipase issue but cooking it doesn't change anything. As well, i've pumped and given it to grandma to give it to him right away.

And the thing that really stresses me out is that he's got to start daycare when i go full time. How can i expect them to deal with him not eating and fussing when he's hungry? My mother won't be able to take care of him because she's got to go back to work. We've contemplated getting a live in nanny instead so that at least the caregiver would be dealing with the one child only when i was at work.

Today grandma is going to try a formula we haven't tried yet. I'm sure it won't work.

[tzs]

would the daycare be open to you bringing him in and letting them try the bottle?
when i was trying to get my babe to take the bottle i tried other people (a mother of 9, her teenage son, my parents....) none of them could do it but i had a feeling that if i had taken her to my pal who runs the babyroom of the preschool i worked at she may have been able to do it. just a thought. i feel like they have experience in stuff like this. (i know they've had several babies who've refused)

if you have to go that route and if it helps...the formula my babe took was a kosher formula called materna. you have to order it online or get in in a kosher store in a big city. i used it b/c it was our only option as we keep strictly kosher but i've found that mixed up it kind of looks like actual milk as opposed to the yellowish other stuff i've seen in other people's bottles.

[texmati]

s Alisse

I can just hear how stressed you are. My son is the same age as yours, and I just started working last month. I'm sure other working moms will understand, at this age, it's terrible to think that your baby will go hungry while you are at work.

i want to just add my vote, that I really do not think formula is the answer. If I still wasn't nursing my son, I would be going out of my mind right now. Since I'm still nursing, don't have to worry about bottles at night, and I can sleep through night feedings.

What if your son still refuses after your supply has dwindled?

When you say refusing, what exactly is he doing? Chokeing/gagging, or just plane refusing to open his mouth? will he take a paci?
If you are still open to other ideas--

Have you considered finger feeding? What about the breastflow bottle?

100% bottles and formula is easier for other caregivers, but in many ways, harder for mom. I would keep trying a bit longer. Offer an alternate every day, but when he's not that hungry.

[texmati]

Finally, Lots of babies go long periods of time sleeping through the night without food. it is possible, and he won't starve.

Also, if you want to try out your mom's suggestion-- do what she says-- just pump and offer formula only for a day. Taking a shot to dry up your supply, will not change your mind about bottles being better than boobies.

[azohri]

Since you know you have a lipase issue, it seems like you should be focusing on that. I don't have any experience with it personally, although a friend of mine had a lipase issue and scalding the milk *immediately* after pumping worked for her. She didn't discover why her son wouldn't take EBM until he was a year old (luckily she was home)! Maybe try talking to some LLL leaders to see if they have other solutions if scalding didn't work for you?

[maptome]

Originally Posted by texmati

Finally, Lots of babies go long periods of time sleeping through the night without food. it is possible, and he won't starve.

Agreed. My baby goes only nurses about 3 times from 8 AM till 10 PM, but eats about 5-6 times throughout the night. They figure out how to get what they need even if it is reverse cycling.

[mkksmom]

Have you tried a straw?

[claras_mom]

He won't starve. He's likely instead to reverse cycle. Other thing you could try is mixing the EBF with rice cereal--into a really thin slurry--then feeding it with a spoon.

When dd2 went into daycare at 5.5 months, she wouldn't take the bottle. She would eat the cereal if it was mixed with the milk. Eventually, dcp figured out that if Eliza was allowed to hold the bottle herself, she'd get most of it down. At the same time, she started nursing a lot during the night, so it didn't really matter that she was only taking 7-8 ounces during the day; she was more than making up for it overnight.

In my experience, starting at daycare was a gradual process - not full days all at once, but working up to it over the course of about a week.

[Alisse]

As soon as he gets a taste of milk -- whether it be EBM or formula -- he'll push the bottle away with a disgusted look on his face then refuse to open his mouth. If we manage to get some into his mouth by squeezing the bottle, he'll let it pool then spit it out. Yet he has apparently been taking some water out of a certain bottle, but won't take any juice. He also won't eat any cereal (we've tried the kind you add water and the kind used with breastmilk). So far the only thing he'll eat is pureed fruit, and only once.

Azohri: I meant to say that the scalding worked, but he still won't take the milk.

Texmati: Haven't tried finger feeding or the breastflow bottle...but it's looking like he wants the milk stuff from the boob specifically. Little bugger!

Actually, it's our fault; me and dh are EXTREMELY picky eaters .

I dunno, i'll just keep trying something.

Is it even possible for babies to drink both formula and breastmilk? (i.e. formula during the day, and breatmilk during the night?).

And to make matters worse, i got my period for the first time today. WTH?! I was hoping for some freedom from it a little longer than 5 months!

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by Alisse

Is it even possible for babies to drink both formula and breastmilk? (i.e. formula during the day, and breatmilk during the night?).

Yes. When my niece turned 6 mo, my sister went to formula during the day and nursed at night. I've had other acquaintances talk about doing that, so it's not unheard of. The obvious difficulty is getting your little guy to "agree" to it.

[sapphire_chan]

Does he eat a ton when you come back? If so, he'll be okay as far as nutrition.

One thing I'd try doing since he isn't liking bottles, but will eat complementary foods, is see if he'll take EBM in a sippy.