Just wondering. Quick back story, my ex and I have three kids together, and have been apart for 6 years now. He has chosen tatooing as a profession, living in a small town has had a very unsteady income. He has always paid cs WHEN he was making money, and has lived with other people(friends, his mom) for all but maybe a year of the time we've been apart. Last year he opened a tattoo shop, which closed after about 6 months due to poor management. I filed for cs when he opened the shop, figuring that if he was going to be doing as good as he thought, it wouldn't be a problem, and it was no longer gonna be optional. Since then, he has paid a small percentage of what he owes. Oh and he has always taken the kids for about 2 1/2 days a week so that I can work.
Since he moved out, he has lived in 5 different houses with roomates, mostly. A few months ago, while he was living with a friend couple and there small son, he told me that he was moving once again, and that he was going to be moving in with J. J is a 'friend' of his who has shown himself to be irresponsible and chaotic in the past. I put my foot down and told him that until he had his own house or apt. the kids would stay with me full time. He can see them when he wants, but he doesnt have a car and he works and lives on the opposite side of town. So far, and it's been about a month, he has seen them once a week and always with his girlfriend. So today I asked him if he would take them thursday, since I do not yet have a sitter and him taking them would take care of that. He agreed, but then said he would not have his girlfriend with him and would be taking the bus. He then asked if he could watch them at my house. He doesn't want to have to keep them out all day, which I understand. On the other hand there was a stretch of time when I let him watch them here and it was so weird. I just felt too weird about him being in my space. So I said no. Part of why I decided to keep the kids full time, aside to keep the weirdos out of their lives, was to provide motivation for him to get his act together. If I let him watch them here it just makes it too easy for him. He can take them downtown for the day and spend some real time with them. They are off Friday, so we can all rest up then. Anyways, I feel like now that his time with them is more limited than ever, it is even more important that when he is with them HE takes responsibility for them as well as himself, and handles it, rather than once again relying on someone else to fill in where he falls short.
I'm not really asking for advice, I suppose. I feel comfortable with this. I guess I am just curious about others' opinions and experience about and with this topic. Thanks
Since he moved out, he has lived in 5 different houses with roomates, mostly. A few months ago, while he was living with a friend couple and there small son, he told me that he was moving once again, and that he was going to be moving in with J. J is a 'friend' of his who has shown himself to be irresponsible and chaotic in the past. I put my foot down and told him that until he had his own house or apt. the kids would stay with me full time. He can see them when he wants, but he doesnt have a car and he works and lives on the opposite side of town. So far, and it's been about a month, he has seen them once a week and always with his girlfriend. So today I asked him if he would take them thursday, since I do not yet have a sitter and him taking them would take care of that. He agreed, but then said he would not have his girlfriend with him and would be taking the bus. He then asked if he could watch them at my house. He doesn't want to have to keep them out all day, which I understand. On the other hand there was a stretch of time when I let him watch them here and it was so weird. I just felt too weird about him being in my space. So I said no. Part of why I decided to keep the kids full time, aside to keep the weirdos out of their lives, was to provide motivation for him to get his act together. If I let him watch them here it just makes it too easy for him. He can take them downtown for the day and spend some real time with them. They are off Friday, so we can all rest up then. Anyways, I feel like now that his time with them is more limited than ever, it is even more important that when he is with them HE takes responsibility for them as well as himself, and handles it, rather than once again relying on someone else to fill in where he falls short.
I'm not really asking for advice, I suppose. I feel comfortable with this. I guess I am just curious about others' opinions and experience about and with this topic. Thanks
