Help me with a situation please

[not perfect]

Ok so a very close relative of mine is pregnant with her first baby. Newly pregnant, they won't find out for a few months if they decide to whether it's a boy or a girl. She doesn't want to circ but he does. She has given him some stuff to look at and I guess they are supposed to revisit the topic later.
So all this came out in a conversation I was having with her during which I might have pushed my opinion a little too hard. I asked what will happen if he doesn't change his mind and she kind of shut down. Basically told me to mind my own business. Which I did. But now I'm worried. We aren't just close, we are like sisters close. And I know that I've read here before not to let circ ruin a relationship but the way I feel it could.
So what should I do...do I push a little more or let it go?

[KaylaBeanie]

Really, it depends on her personality. From the information provided, I would guess that she would just shut down more if you kept pushing information. Has she looked at a variety of good sources, or is she relying on her own google searches? Thankfully, she and her DH still have a lot of time left to discuss it.

[Night_Nurse]

Personally, I wouldn't push it right now, especially if you think it might drive a wedge in your friendship. Sometimes it's a lot to think about - the idea of not circing a boy. It may take her (and him) a while to process her feelings on it or how she'll handle her husband. But I'm sure she will be thinking about it, even if she doesn't want to discuss it with you.
I wouldn't say or do much now. After they find out the gender, you might want to gently recommend a website or give her some printed info. But all of this might be a moot point if they have a girl.
You've already planted seeds and you should be proud of that. If she finds out it's a boy, come back and let us know and we'll see what we can find to possibly send to your friend.

[PuppyFluffer]

It's early in the game. You have time to let the info you shared distill and simmer in her mind. Give it a while.

[ElliesMomma]

yes, ignore the situation for now. you say newly pregnant. most people wait until 12 weeks to tell the boss at work... sometimes pregnancies don't stick. if she already doesn't want to circumcise, then instead of trying to give her all sorts of info to convince her SO, i would just make sure that she knows that it's *her* decision if she has the baby in a hospital. the *mother* has to sign the consent to do a circumcision. if she doesn't want to circumcise, all she has to do is tell the hospital/doctor/midwife that she does not want to. the delivering mother is the patient, and the doctors have to do what she says regarding circumcision. the dad could have a child circumcised later, but not in those first two hospital days. HTH!

[buttercups.nest]

If it were me I would apologize for overstepping boundaries and say that its something you are passionate about....you know how passionate people get

Then maybe offer an ear for her to talk about her feelings etc without you being judgemental....but like a PP said it is her decision in the end.

Good luck!

[not perfect]

Thank you all for your responses. I think the right thing to do is wait too. I did find a cute article that I forwarded to her and she said she was going to have her DH read it.
I guess the thing I'm most worried about is this baby, I have 3 kids all uncut and a DH who is cut. I tend to dwell on things and overthink them, but circ was an issue that I didn't know about with my first either. When my MW told me we didn't have to it seemed like a no-brainer. But I still read a lot about it and tried to make the most educated decision possible. She seems to want my opinion on everything else from midwives to diapers. But not this?
I guess maybe what I'm trying to do is come to terms with what MIGHT happen and I should probably just wait to find out. And pray for a girl.

[Night_Nurse]

Well, if she is asking for your info on things like diapering and midwives, why not refer her to this website??? You could just mention MDC has tons of info about pregnancy & birth, feeding, diapering, even midwives and she might really like this site. Plus, we have some good info on circ too (I wouldn't mention the circ stuff, just let her find it on her own)!

[eli's mama]

I am in a similar situation. and am at a complete loss, and feeling very sad. subbing.

[eepster]

Since the issue is with her DH, you could print this out for her to read.

http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/v...ty_of_men.html

It might help hr understand what her DH is going through and help her see how his judgement on this matter is clouded. My one caviot would be to suggest she not leave it lying around where her DH might find it.

[Greg B]

You could send her a Doctors Opposing Circumcision's statement. Since it is form doctors, well researched, and includes references, it is a good authoritative reference.

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...yStatement.pdf

You could couch in temrs of you realizing that you were a bit forceful and may not have stated everything as well as you could have, but came across this and it seems to do a good job, so she can read it for herself.

Regards