DH keeps telling me I dont educate DS enough

[olien]

DS is almost 19mo & according to our Ped very advanced in language & doing great.

Lately DH tells me that I dont spend enough time educating our DS. He wants me to spend a solid hr a day just working on his education. (DS cant sit & do anything for a soild Hr)

He thinks DS should be able to say the alphabet, read & at least count to 10. He tells me that DS needs to be advanced & ahead of other kids his age
The idea of him reading comes from the commercials for 'your baby can read'. DH thinks if other, younger babies can do it so can our DS.

OK, so this is what I do. Read 5 - 15 books a day, puzzles, work with numbers - DSs interested in them. Color, playdough, he helps dusting, sweeping, wiping things with a sponge. Sing, watch a few real animal shows on TV (he loves animals), etc... I think the usual stuff for this age.

Maybe I am missing something I should be doing, I don't know.
I am a little lazy lately since I am almost 33wks pg, so outside time is limited & we watch more TV than I would prefer. Also, I need to google arts & crafts to do with him. I think he is ready for something new.

What do you do with your DC?
Just Venting.....

(Moderator - Move to Home/Unschooling if that would be a better place. I was debating where to put this since that is where we are headed.)

[flower01]

Uh, i think you need to find some resources to show your DH normal childhood milestones.

I think he has the completely wrong idea here and if he continues to pressure you or your child, it could cause more problems. Your baby is just a baby...he has so many things to learn right now. Play is really important. I don't think your husband has realistic goals/expectations.

[Katie T]

Well, my DD just turned 20 months and she can't read, count, know her colors or shapes. We read books, sing songs, limit tv, all that good stuff. IMO he is to young to be worrying about teaching him that stuff right now. He will pick it up from the books you guys read and the songs you sing.

Every now and then when we are reading a counting book DD will count to 3 but honestly I think it is coincidence and she can sing some of her ABCs but that's from the alphabet song lol

I would google what a 19m should be doing and show it to him, maybe he will calm down. I have a very smart 9yo and she didn't show any advanced signs at that age so it really shows nothing IMO.

My DD would never sit while I tried to "teach" her things like that, there learning is suppose to be playing right now.

[carmel23]

a great book for art is susan striker's young at art (sorry )

[ASusan]

If your DH expects your younger-than-two-year-old to spend an hour a day on academics, then he should be willing to read the AAP's report on the importance of play for healthy development.

[lach]

I'd buy him a copy of Einstein Never Used Flashcards, and then ignore any other parenting advice he may have on the subject.

This is far more about your DH and his insecurities than it is about your child.

[ecoteat]

Your dh needs to CHILLLLL. You need to educate HIM, not ds. He needs to learn what is developmentally appropriate during the early childhood years.

I firmly believe that young children learn everything they NEED to know on their own as its required for the next stage of development. I don't know what kind of direct instruction your dh is envisioning for a toddler, but he's not going to learn to read, or anything else, until he is ready. And he is NOT ready.

[LVale]

I think at 19 mths. they should only be playing, and exploring their world. And believe it or not while they are playing they are learning, taking in every sight and sound. I think being a brand new little human being that is a lot of work in its self! Just think about it, everyday they see things a little different, a new sound, song, voice, picture, and having to absorb it all! I am exhausted just thinking about it!

[sapphire_chan]

Wow, wish we did half of what you do while you're "lazy". What do you do when you have energy?

Here's the thing, lots of people who won't make money from it say that at least through preschool (some say beyond) kids learn best through play. They back this up with peer-reviewed studies.

On the other side you've got companies who are trying to sell products saying that flashcards are oh-so-important and they back it up with anecdotes.

Look at the Baby Einstein company that had to withdraw their claims about brain development from using their products.

Sure, eventually there might be research showing that these products are the bestest developmental tool since the stacking ring, but the fact that the companies are making these claims without doing the research to back themselves up? Speaks volumes.

And tell your dh from me that a "flashcard" mind won't get you through college. Got me almost through college, but I didn't have the creativity or problem solving skills to complete a senior design project. It's all very well to be great at checking off little boxes, but it gets you no where in real life. I'll back a kid who builds fancy towers with blocks over one who can sit still and take tests any day.

[philomom]

Jeez, at 19 months? I read my baby stories and showed them all the fruit at the grocery store. Maybe the lobsters in the tank. Nothing formal at all.

[claddaghmom]

Well if he wants it, shouldn't he be sitting for an hour w/ a toddler everyday?

I mean, put me in an electric chair! Toddlers sitting still for an hour and focusing on traditional academic activities....are they tied down and drugged?

You're 33 wks w/ a toddler...how come DH isn't volunteering if 1)he's sure a toddler can handle all that learning and 2) it's important to him.

Going on a limb here to say there is more under the surface...

[PikkuMyy]

Your husband needs to learn about child development and appropriate expectations for a child your son's age. His are not accurate or realistic.

[ssh]

Tell your DH that normal play prepares people for later academics. For example playing with balls and blocks both help the development of spacial skills and problem solving. Spacial skills, being able to visualize, and solve physical problems are prerequisites for being able to do calculus and physics. Play is really very important for cognitive development. Letting your LO take things apart and examine everything (safe) he sees are also good for developing the kind of thinking used in higher maths and science. Also the countries that don't push paper pencil learning until 7 or later usually have better readers by junior high age. Forcing symbolic learning early has no lasting advantage academically and can make kids bored with the idea of learning.

[lach]

Originally Posted by PikkuMyy

Your husband needs to learn about child development and appropriate expectations for a child your son's age. His are not accurate or realistic.

Can we have an award right here for best answer?

[bluejaunte]

I'm sorry, that would make me livid. Sounds like you're doing the exact right thing.

[mamazee]

You don't have to do much if anything with a toddler for them to learn. They're little sponges! Just have stuff out for him to play with and read to him from time to time. I never really played much with my older dd and don't with my toddler dd either. The older one started reading at 3. And honestly it doesn't matter when they start reading anyway. If they aren't learning to read, they're learning something else. But they're always learning something. I just use that to show that they do learn even if you aren't sitting there teaching them.

Also, it isn't a competition.

Finally, I don't think anyone homeschools a 2-year-old. Or maybe I should say that everyone homeschools their 2-year-olds. It isn't something that's differentiated from just normal development anyway because you wouldn't be sending them off to public school at that age otherwise.

I would be angry if my dh had those expectations. Let a kid be a kid! Toddlerhood should be fun.

[mamadelbosque]

LOLOL My DS couldn't do those things at 19 months either. At nearly 36 months he's starting to be able to count, sort of (he tends to go 1,3, 5,6, 7, 8, 9...), and he knows his letters (though not the 'abcdefg' thing). But at 19 months?? He wasn't even hardly talking yet!! Your DH needs to relax. Seriously!!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by PikkuMyy

Your husband needs to learn about child development and appropriate expectations for a child your son's age. His are not accurate or realistic.

Come on now, be nice to the guy, he's just going through a developmentally appropriate phase for a parent who is bombarded by advertising.

[betsyj]

Well crap. Clearly my son is in trouble what with his lazy mama. All he did yesterday was walk around the grocery store while I handed him our items for him to drop in the cart.

Although I did name everything. And soemtimes even commented on what color it was.

If my son sat still for an hour I would assume he was sleeping or seriously ill.

And I agree with claddaghmom that it sure seems like something else is going on.

[KristyDi]

Your DH is apparently clueless about developmentally appropriate skills for a 19 month old.

Counting? Knowing the whole alphabet? My dd will be 2 next week and can name some letters and numbers. (she calls most numbers 9 and most letters E)

Sitting still and "learning" for an hour???

Toddlers are learning at an amazing rate. They are exploring and discovering all about the world. They don't need flashcards or an overbearing parent trying to shoehorn things into their heads. They just need to be exposed to different experiences and to interact with people around them.

Tell him to do some actual research, that does not include commercials on TV, then get back to you.