Lately, my 17 month old has been reaching and grabbing for things. She doesn't want to take it, she just wants to see what it is. She also does this a lot in public (like if I'm wearing her and she wants to see what's on a shelf). This usually ends up in a struggle to either prevent her from making a huge mess, or giving the item back.
Example. Last night I was reading a book and came up behind the book and grabbed at it to look at the inside, then grabbed at the page and tried to turn it (paper pages! Yikes!). She'll also grab at pens while I'm writing, or lean WAY over my desk to reach the mouse while I'm typing (she likes to sit on my lap and cuddle or watch tv while I'm trying to work at my computer). This morning, she was trying to grab my coffee spoon, then my mug. She wanted to see what was inside. She understands "hot" so this isn't much of a problem with my coffee, but then it will lead to several minutes of frantically asking "please", and me explaining that coffee is hot and not for her.
Like I said, she's not always wanting to TAKE the item. She's just being curious. When she actually wants something I have, she might grab at it, but then she'll quickly stop and ask "please" in sign language.
This is not the problem. The problem I'm having is using the words to ask her to not do that. We don't like to say "don't" in this house, nor do we like using the word "no".
I sometimes say things like "no thank you", "please don't grab", no touching please", etc. I distract and redirect at any time when I can (like when I'm not carrying her), but I'm having a hard time finding the words to tell her to not be grabby. What doesn't help at all is in order to stop her from taking what she's curious about (which is usually something I don't want her to have due to safety or destruction -ie. hot coffee or my expensive paperback book), I have to quickly grab it away from her. Of course this will lead to more grabbing... So what words are there to relay the message, and how do you think I should be reacting so I don't instinctively grab back?
She's REALLY FAST. lol
Suggestions?
NB. I do try to keep these things out of reach, but I'm just using them as examples because they're the most recent in my head. If you remember my thread about the Strong Smart school, this is what our ENTIRE visit was like. See toy, take toy, make mess, continue to next shelf/play area.
Edited to add: I've also tried just holding the item (or her) and waiting (asking nicely) for her to release it, but this will ALWAYS involve a mini tantrum, and I don't like the idea of waiting for her to submit. I don't like "winning" like that.
Example. Last night I was reading a book and came up behind the book and grabbed at it to look at the inside, then grabbed at the page and tried to turn it (paper pages! Yikes!). She'll also grab at pens while I'm writing, or lean WAY over my desk to reach the mouse while I'm typing (she likes to sit on my lap and cuddle or watch tv while I'm trying to work at my computer). This morning, she was trying to grab my coffee spoon, then my mug. She wanted to see what was inside. She understands "hot" so this isn't much of a problem with my coffee, but then it will lead to several minutes of frantically asking "please", and me explaining that coffee is hot and not for her.
Like I said, she's not always wanting to TAKE the item. She's just being curious. When she actually wants something I have, she might grab at it, but then she'll quickly stop and ask "please" in sign language.
This is not the problem. The problem I'm having is using the words to ask her to not do that. We don't like to say "don't" in this house, nor do we like using the word "no".
I sometimes say things like "no thank you", "please don't grab", no touching please", etc. I distract and redirect at any time when I can (like when I'm not carrying her), but I'm having a hard time finding the words to tell her to not be grabby. What doesn't help at all is in order to stop her from taking what she's curious about (which is usually something I don't want her to have due to safety or destruction -ie. hot coffee or my expensive paperback book), I have to quickly grab it away from her. Of course this will lead to more grabbing... So what words are there to relay the message, and how do you think I should be reacting so I don't instinctively grab back?
She's REALLY FAST. lol
Suggestions?
NB. I do try to keep these things out of reach, but I'm just using them as examples because they're the most recent in my head. If you remember my thread about the Strong Smart school, this is what our ENTIRE visit was like. See toy, take toy, make mess, continue to next shelf/play area.
Edited to add: I've also tried just holding the item (or her) and waiting (asking nicely) for her to release it, but this will ALWAYS involve a mini tantrum, and I don't like the idea of waiting for her to submit. I don't like "winning" like that.
