5.5 yr old DD doesn't like her name & wants to change it

[Tanibani]

Her name is Marlena. She wants to be called Grace.

Here is the funny thing. I didn't pick the name. I am not good at picking names and let my DH handle it. He did a great job with our first born son, but names is not something I like to obsess on.

He gave me a few choices and I didn't love any of them (Sophia, Katie, etc...) and I settled for Marlena because I felt pressured to choose something. (I love LENA, but I don't call her that. We used to call her Laney as a baby, but she didn't love that.)

For the first 1.5 yr, I kept saying to myself and friends that I hated her name. I really did. I finally got over it. But it is amazing she picked up on that!!!

I don't ever talk about it anymore, not since she was a baby.

I'd be willing to "officially" change her name. DH doesn't want to. Do you know anyone who has done it? I actually like Grace a lot better than Marlena.

Thanks.

[KristyDi]

My mother's name was officially changed from Elizabeth to Betsy when she was 2 or 3. I obviously wasn't around so I have no idea how it went. Family legend says it was because my grandma hated that people kept calling her Liz.

What do you DD and DH think of Lena?

[JollyGG]

I don't think I would officially changer her name just yet. After all she is only 5.5 right now and there may be many times she wants to change her name over the coming years.

However, I see no harm in letting her go by Grace. I'd start out just calling her that at home and see how it fits and how she feels about it once it's a daily used name and if after a time she still wanted to go totally by the name Grace I'd give her permission to ask others to start calling her that name.

I know tons of people who have nicknames, or go by a middle name, or whatever. I know at least two people who have officially changed their names but both waited until they were at least 18 to legally change it.

[Marimami]

Why not just call her Grace for a while without making any permanent change?

We have always called my daughter by a nickname based on her middle name. It's only a little confusing when we go to a new doctor's office.

Holli

[texmati]

I'd let her do it... but to be honest, I also kind of like Grace better than Marlena.

[philomom]

Nope. My kids are stuck with the name I gave them until they can pay their own bills. They can can use any variation of their real names.. but that's it.

There are a ton of Grace's out there. Marlena is a great name.

[betsyj]

I HATED my name when I was little. Because of that stupid Betsy-Wetsy doll.

I begged to have my name changed and I am so glad my Mom said no. I love my name now.

[new2this]

I went through many stages as a kid of hating my name. At 5.5 I don't feel they actually know how much they really like their name or understand the concept about changing it. To me its one of those things like changing their favorite toy/color ect.

To me that is one of those things till they can pay for it on their own they have no say. Call her Grace and see how she does with it.

On a side note it reminds me of the Full House episode where Stephanie wanted to change her name and at the end of it she realized she liked her name..lol

[plunky]

My brother went through a phase for several months at least where he insisted he be called Lando Calrissian. I'm with your husband, don't change her name officially. Call her what she wants to be called, though.

[Village Mama]

My youngest son went through a phase where he wasn't so sure about his name. Instead of changing it, he gave himself a special middle name... he felt that it made his name feel more complete.( we offered to call him by it too) It may not work with you if you don't have special stories around the name you chose, but it helps some kids to retell thier personal story . Thier personal myth. My son feels a lot more connected to his name when we do this, like it brings back the specialness of it!

[cloe]

Yeah my 4 year old was buz lightyear for about a year. He introduced himself as such and would adamently fight any correction. I would wait for a while to legally change anything.

[Arduinna]

LOL I wanted to change my name when I was a young kid too. I'm glad my parents didn't change it legally though :LOL

[Maluhia]

My DD spent six months introducing herself as Barbie the Island Princess.

I get that this is different from your situation, just wanted to share.

That being said - let her go by Grace but wait a few years before doing anything legal.

[pauletoy]

Another vote to just call her Grace and wait on the name change. She may change her mind after a while.

[ps4624]

My Uncle had his named legally changed from John to Ron when he was in grade school because his brother was named James and the school said it was too confusing to have brothers with names that are derivatives of each other (obviously, this was back in the day). Anyhoo, to add to the confusion, we call him Bogie, so no one really knows what the h**ll his name is.

My name is Piper, which rhymes with Diaper, so in grade school I desperately wanted to change my name to Penny which I thought was the most beautiful name in the world. Pretty happy my parents didn't go for that one!

[Sierra]

Well, I come from a history of name changing.

My mother and father both changed their names. My mother when she was a pre-teen, and my father when he was an adult. Both decided to use their middle instead of first names. My mother had it changed legally, and my father simply in terms of use. My father's parents still have trouble remembering to call him by his chosen name, and seemingly were disturbed by the whole thing.

I changed my own name, sort of. Myself and all my siblings had names that were very unique. Popularity grew for my name and one of my sister's names when we were teens and adults, but when we were little kids, no one else had those names.

Now lots of kids are named my one sister's name and my name, but my other sister and brother still have *very* unique names. So the point is that I appreciated having a unique name, and when I was between the ages of 7-9 and became friends with another little girl who happened to have the same name, I decided to hyphenate my first and middle name for a very long first name.

I finally legally changed it when I changed my last name after my wedding. Now sometimes I consider dropping the second part again, just because it always seems to be an issue for people, but part of me still resists because afterall, this is now my NAME and people really ought to use it.

Anyway, I think changing the name you are called first and then waiting to legally change it is fine. It can be a pain (I used to detest adults who refused to call me my chosen name in preference for my given name). But it works out okay in the end as a general rule.

That said, I think if she felt really strongly still after a while, a legal change would be fine but I suggest you consider whether you want her given name to be maybe a second middle name in case there are any issues in the transition.

[butterfly_mommy]

My mother had my name legally changed when I was about 7 (grade 2) Well actually she had my first name Scarlett legally added unto my existing name Melissa Laura so I have 2 middle names now.

At first I was called Melissa a lot still by my family and friends but eventually people stopped calling me Melissa and called me Scarlett more. We also moved a lot so the next school year I was in a new school and was registered and introduced as Scarlett. Truthfully it didn't really affect me much but I am a unique person so I liked having a unique name as a teenager. It is more popular now (met a baby Scarlett today) but now that I am an adult I don't really care if my name is popular or not and I think it suits me.

[Oliver'sMom]

Another vote on just calling her Grace and letting her change her name legally when she's an adult.

[intrepidmother]

[waterproofmascara]

This won't be helpful, but it will make you chuckle.

When my daughter was that age she wanted to keep her name but change the spelling. As in, my name is Lisa but you spell it P-A-M.

Try explaining how no one will understand that to a 5 year old.