5.5 yr old DD doesn't like her name & wants to change it - Page 2

[limette]

Funny, on the weekend I was having a name discussion with a friend and she told me about a friend who changed her kid's name at 5 years old. The daughter hated her name but chose something very similar to replace it.

If she's hated it for a long time then I'd probably willing to change it although I agree that the better option would be to just call her the name she likes and do the paperwork when she's older.

[annettemarie]

Moving to Childhood Years since this about a specific age/stage.

[StrawberryFields]

My fear about changing it would be that later she would change her mind and then not really understand why you couldn't have it changed again. And again and again and again.

[Peony]

Ok, so during DD1's pg, DH and I had issues with naming. After she was born, he finally agreed to a version of the name I wanted but I never felt it was quite right. She never knew this. When DD1 was 4, she decided that she did not want to be the name we named her but actually the name I actually had wanted, all on her own. She is 7 now and her name is legally changed, we were changing last names (adding mine) and we just did the first name at the same time. It took DH over a year, probably closer to 1.5 years to really accept her new name and stop using the old one. DD1 wouldn't allow anyone else to call her by her old name except for DH and then he gradually just switched. I think that sometimes they just know that their names are not right for them.

[Tanibani]

Thanks for all the replies. Thats a cool story Peony.

We pronounce her name "Mar LAY Nah" (not Mar LEE Nah) so Lena (as much as I love it) doesn't quite match as a derivative. I know it's a pretty name, but it's just so-so to me. I prefer Grace.

I'm feeling better about the whole thing... just calling her Grace now and seeing how that goes will work for us.

[Heavenly]

I would not change her name. Kids always want to change their name at one point or another. It's normal. I honestly don't know one child who didn't want to change their name! A 5.5 year old is not old enough to make such a huge decision. I think your energy would be better spent coming up with ways for her to love her name or coming up with nicknames from her name than basically telling her that you agree that her name is no good by agreeing to call her another name. There are many cute nicknames from Marlena - how about Marley or Mena or Lena?

[Cascadian]

I have no issue whatsoever about her wanting to change her name. There are tons of people around that go by their middle names, nicknames, or names that are totally unrelated to what's on their birth certificates. What, really, is the harm in letting her try it on for a while? Maybe it will stick, maybe she'll shed it and reclaim her 'real' name...who knows. Call her Grace, watch her smile. What's the harm?

[kittygrrl523]

I think Grace is a beautiful name...and it's kind of spiritual...maybe your little girl is drawn to it for that reason too...it could be more than just not liking Marlena...

I agree that calling her Grace is a good idea for a while...you can always change it in the future if she still wants to do that...or if you wanted to keep her name that your DH chose you could maybe make Grace her legal middle name and she can go by that...although that might be more confusing...

Anyways this name change thread caught my eye b/c just this evening my DS (age 4.5) said "can you take me to the 'port house' (read court house) so I can change my name to Batman." LOL (he should meet up w/ Buzz Lightyear and Island Princess Barbie)

[EricaE]

My DD's name is Grace, so obviously I understand why your DD likes the name so much.

But I don't think I'd legally change her name just yet - maybe in a few years if she still really wants it?

[Viola]

My older daughter hates her name and wants to change it. She's 10 now, still hates it and wants to change it, but I kind of feel like that's typical for the age. When she was younger she told me she wanted to change her name to one she picked, so I told her OK. She asked if I would let everyone know to call her that, and I said I would. We went to visit a friend and my friend called her by that name by her request. I think the name was Delorah. She lasted about an hour before deciding she didn't like that one either.

I remember being about 6 and being in love with a certain name, I thought it was the best name on earth, I was going to name my child that. But now I can't recapture that feeling, I have no affinity for the name.

Anyway, my daughter can legally change her name when she's older if she still wants to, or she can go by a nickname before that if she wants, but she's just critical without having anything she actually loves. If she really had a name she loved, I'd probably call her that.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by Tanibani

Thanks for all the replies. Thats a cool story Peony.

We pronounce her name "Mar LAY Nah" (not Mar LEE Nah) so Lena (as much as I love it) doesn't quite match as a derivative. I know it's a pretty name, but it's just so-so to me. I prefer Grace.
I'm feeling better about the whole thing... just calling her Grace now and seeing how that goes will work for us.

I think that she is most likely picking up on that and it is feeding her desire to change her name. You have stated that you don't really like her name - do you really think she has not picked up on that? Kids are smarter than you think.

[thefreckledmama]

Must be the age. My 5 y/o (who normally loves her name), has been saying recently that she doesn't like it. I told her to decide what she wanted to be called, and we'd call her that. It's been a few weeks and she still hasn't come up with anything else, yet.

I think 5 is too young to be allowed to determine such a significant change that would be permanent, but I see no problem with letting them choose a different name to go by, and if they stick with it for a number of years, consider making it permanent.