Running the O'Dingo Way -- Dingos Run Into March like Lionesses! - Page 42

[JenLove]

Popping in to report 30 minutes of kundalini yoga.

[Nemesis]

RM, my Dh has acted similarly about me WOH. I hope things get ironed out.

I am a cleaning machine today! I am going through clothes, the bane of my existence. I am limiting myself to no more than 5 of each type of clothing, so 5 pants, 5 skirts, etc... Which is good, and some things I don't even have 5 of. It is really liberating!
Also, I am currently in a size 14 and I did allow myself 2 pairs of pants in a 12 and 2 pairs in a 10. It's been quite some time since I"ve been below a 10, so I just let those old clothes go. If I get to that size again, I think I will be more than happy to go shopping for some new stuff.

No real workout today. A walk. Some hip stretches. Maybe some weights this afternoon, if I am feeling really motivated.

Jen- thanks for noticing! I am really kicking ass and taking names today, I hope I can keep the motivation up all week!

[Runningmommy]

Nemesis~did he support you going to work outside the home?

[Nemesis]

RM, he says he does but if I am gone for work he kind of freaks out. Well.. not really freaks out. It's hard to explain.

I think in our case, he is wanting more security (financial) by me working regular hours. But he gets a lot of security (emotional) by me being the one he can count on. So while we do want more income, DH gets anxiety when things change quickly. I know he is capable of making meals and putting the kids to bed, deciding what they eat and where they go.. but he gets a lot of feelings of securty and stability by me being "home" and taking care of those things.
I know it sounds awfully old-fashioned (and we are not!) but I recognize that my DH feels that way and I don't have a real desire to WOH right now. FTR, when we first married DH was a SAHD and I was a production welder. I don't think we are stuck in gender roles socially or in our marriage, and there are no issues of control or anything going on.
I am focusing on bringing in more income with my business because I haven't found a way to work part time that leaves me available to support my DH emotionally (in the way he needs).

ETA: I am feeling rambly and I hope that made sense...

[kate~mom]

Originally Posted by loftmama

researching diva vs keeper... any show of hands would be appreciated.

have used both. prefer diva.

[Nickarolaberry]

I am so done with dh right now. If I didn't have kids with him I'd be gone. Out. The. Door.

[1jooj]

Nick

RM, I am late posting, but I can say similar things as Nemesis. While my dh definitely wants the financial benefits of my working, he wants (probably more) the comforts of my being home. And I don't think it's a control or gender role issue, really, it really is the steady, comforting presence...the way I keep house, the predictability. When I work and, for example, he gets off work early, he calls to let me know, so that if I want to stay late at the office, I can.

But he is limited in what he can provide at home. He is driven and works hard but it truly, truly awful at keeping house. He can make a meal here and there, keep himself and kids fed, even throw in a load (of darks ) and vacuum, but the house just does not stay together under his watch. So it's a fine balance for me not to work "too much," so I still have the time and energy to manage home. (FTR, he does a lot of outside farm work while I manage house.)

kerc, everything crossed for you.

TOTN last I heard was planning a segment on bullies. Anyone know if it happened yet?

FM: 5 miles outside, right from the house in perfect weather. Capri tights, LS shirt, new head-hanky. Sub 9:45 miles. Bad calf cramp on left side, thinking banked roads could be my new issue? Anyway, glad to have run after plowing into cookies at my sister's house this afternoon.

And now I have a work project I am supposed to finish tonight. So not feeling it.

But I am feeling that my second goat could go any time.

[zubeldia]

Jaygee, dang, tendinitis... I would ice, ice, ice... Is it feeling any better this evening?

RM - umm. I have the opposite issue in that my DH would like me to work more and more . But, having said that, *I* like it when DH works less so that he can help in the house more (and that's probably because I am the main breadwinner and it helps to know that there are helping hands available at home). I think I am like Nemesis' and Jo's husbands How is it making you feel?

Oh, Nic What's happened? I did see from FB that you had your car fixed

Thanks, mommajb, for thinking about me. The self-care stuff is SO SO hard at the moment. ds is sleeping horribly and work is crazy but right now I am hiding in the office whilst DH lies with DS and i'm pretending to work as I check in here. I MUST get some decent sleep tonight, though. Also, on my long runs lately I replay Raf's birth and then also his attempts at crawling (he is quite below average ) and finally his infectious giggle.

I really laughed out loud when I read you'd given up cooking for lent

Callie, my DH moans about the same thing.. too much mess when I cook. I have threatened not to cook if he continues to whinge about it. His favourtie comment is 'was there a party in the kitchen'. I always explain that it takes me FAR longer to prepare the mean than it does him to clean up after me.

Jo, I read your day and I feel slightly lazy.

Eaglevoice, that's a wonderful time. WTG!

Jenlove, glad you got some yoga in, Chica.

Kerc... ugh. Phone interviews are the pits. I have everything crossed for you. When will you find out?

NO FM today. I saw my chiropractor today who is really fixing my body. Amazing. He does lots of soft tissue work and deep stretching. I'm amazed at how it's making a different (he does ART, too).

Mercy, 5 days until the half. I have no idea why I am so nervous !

Work is crazy, sleep is not really happening, and no time to myself. IN spite of all this I feel somewhat perky even though, at times, I could easily start to cry.

[Penelope]

Nic, I hope he redeems himself.

Kerc, fingers, etc. crossed. Phone interviews suck, but at least each candidate is at an equal disadvantage, yk?

No FM, but some yoga. Hoping for better tomorrow.

[Nemesis]

zub, I was thinking of you today as I was hooping. I took it up at the suggestion of my chiro to help with hip and ab/lower back issues. Maybe when you are taking time off to work on your hip you might be interested? I made a heavy adult-sized hoop and it is more of a workout than I had thought it would be! But it is fun to do and my hips do feel tons better.

loft- I have a divacup and love it! I haven't tried the Keeper, but I chose the diva because of concerns about latex allergies.

And jo said what I meant, but better.

Nic

[Nemesis]

Good luck, kerc! My DH interviewed for his current position that way, also. He was working in the office as a graduate assistant while he applied for a permanent job when he was graduating. It was tricky, but ended up good in the long run.

[bec]

Nic and RM. I hope your husbands both pull their heads out of...where their heads might be.

I didn't run today, but got a great 5 mile walk in with RP and our dogs. I'm sore from it. I think walking is harder than running!

[tjsmama]

callie~I think it's a-ok to not fix dinner for a few days. Sometimes that's the only way they'll learn!

plady~Yay! I'm so glad you enjoyed your treats. I did make the granola. It's so easy, and so much cheaper (and tastier!) than buying it. Plus DS likes to help me dump and stir. BTW, he helped decorate the cookies, too, although I tried to put the "prettier" ones in your box (my mom and sister got care packages, too).

mommajb~I LOVE that you gave up cooking dinner for Lent. That rocks!

jaygee~Ice. Ice ice ice.

eaglevoice~Congratulations! I think that's a pretty darn good time for your first 10k!

rm and nic~


I survived hospital orientation. And it wasn't that bad.

It was definitely boring in parts, but not terribly. Some of it was actual useful information! Who knew?! We got whatever we wanted to eat and drink from the "bistro" (aka cafeteria, but much nicer, and has Starbucks!) for free all day. I left very impressed with the atmosphere and the culture that they're trying to develop. It's definitely a bit farther away than I would prefer, but I can actually see myself wanting to work there if/when I become an RN.

And now we are experiencing the wonderful bipolarness that is Colorado weather in the spring. Sunny and warm all last week, several inches of snow on Friday, sunny and warm again Sunday and yesterday, and now it's blizzarding. I'm guessing I'll be headed to the Y for a run in the morning.

[1jooj]

Oh, and RM, what I meant to add and forgot is that, while it really isn't about control, it can come out that way when communication is not great. In our house, at least.

We do regularly revisit and review expectations. I have recently been giving more hugs, and I find it helps.

Gaye, glad you made it through orientation. Check it off the list, right?

Got enough of my work done for the night, and now I need to catch some sleep so I can try for the Y in the morning. I don't like afternoon workouts nearly as much as mornings. And I am beat.

[loftmama]

I read in an interview with a female CEO and also in an article about stay-home parents (moms or dads) that wha seemed essential was that someone takes the role of "anchor." "Anchoring" the home seemed an essential task and was completely genderless, according to what I read. I hadn't heard that word used in that context before and I've been mulling over it a lot. Consistent anchoring of a household seemed to be the ideal. I think about it a lot bc I'm a terrible housekeeper, cleaner, etc just terrible. Maybe the emotional supporrt a dp needs has to do with anchoring???

Nick,

ds1's baseball practice was sweet, beautiful, bucolic and everything that ds2's first practice wasn't. It's all good. I may have even volunteered to be the team mom. I just love things like that. I get all teacher-y. 13 9-11 year old farm boys it's just like in the movies only better. There is def no style here. It's all Wranglers, cut -off shirts and dirty boys who know knives and hunting and love to play ball. I cannot believe life has led me here. I cannot believe I feel this way but I love it. The coach and I hung out later and talked about the deliciousness of acorn-fed wild pigs. We think he's the electric co-op dude whose got our electricity back on a dozen times or so.

[kerc]

gahhhhhh. big fight with dh over this freaking job, that I don't really want, but have to try to get and take because we can't afford for me to not do it. He should not be telling me that he has been considering what we would do if I don't get the job in question, our home is foreclosed upon and we end up on the street. Seriously. Can I kick him out now? Foreclosure is not on my radar, nor should it be on his. We have enough in our small retirement accounts to live on for a year, at least. I would anticipate *something* happens before then - move to a new town, waitressing job, *something*.

[1jooj]

Not cool at all, kerc.

Yes, something. You are smart and resourceful and hardworking.

[Mel38]

Right, it's not cool of him to be hanging something like that over your head, kerc. And you are so right, things like that don't happen overnight - there are a lot of steps between here and there, and there would be so many things that you could/would do differently.

Nic I hope things are looking better today.

Loft, you paint such a vivid picture of that bunch of kids, I love it. It sounds like a great bunch of people.

RM, does he maybe feel a little threatened by all that you do, so he feels he has to criticize? I hope he can chill out about the job and let you do what you need to do, and not gripe about what you can't do.

FM, just did a slow and easy 3 miles this morning. No running tomorrow, and I'm going on a field trip with ds's preschool to see the sheep and lambs at a farm! Yay!

[Penelope]

Aw, kerc.

Dunno if this helps, but my dh put us through a bad, bad 6+ months (un)employment-wise, and it turned out that it left him open for a great opportunity. And I started to be much more attuned to how we spend money (duh) and frankly, this is an economy where if you take a waitressing job, everybody will get it and just admire your hard work.

You will not end up on the street. I hate acadamia with all the damn anxiety about jobs, and how you're trained for something so cool and specialized but you also might need a waitressing job. It sucks. But you're skilled, you're smart, you've learned a whole sophisticated field, you can do what you need to do to stay afloat. It will be OK, even if in this moment you don't know what OK looks like.

I'm sorry your dh's anxiety is interfering with his ability to be positive and supportive.

[Nickarolaberry]

Kerc,

Please see yahoogroup. I am in dh hell.