4 years old and refuses to PL. Suggestions please!

[Getz]

My son is 4 and will have nothing to do with the potty. He is pretty typical/developmentally appropriate in every other way. He's been waking up dry for 2 years.

He screams when I suggest pull-ups or underpants. Says "no thank you" (at least he is polite) when I suggest stickers/treats as an award. He notices that his little sister has a potty-chart full of stickers but it doesn't phase him.

The few times I got him to sit on the potty recently, he told me he was scared and that his pee wouldn't come out. We talked about trying to relax and just wait for it to come out.

When I can get him to run around naked, he will hold his pee in all day.

I don't want to make it a negative experience, but is there anything I can do to get him to want to try the potty? I want to do this as gentle as possible. I won't force him to sit on the potty/wear underware when it clearly distresses him. But, if there is something else I can try, I would love it hear it!

[Bokonon]

Would he be receptive to peeing standing up? That's how my son first did it. And run the faucet to make it easier for him to go?

To get him to sit and poop, I blew bubbles for him. That was just the incentive that he needed to finally sit on the potty! We had tried everything...but bubbles did the trick.

[tonimk19]

oh- I like the bubble idea for pooping. DD is almost potty trained except for poop. Sometimes we catch it, sometimes not but she's not very regular.

We did the 3 day potty training method with DD. It worked for us (though I admit going nowhere for 3 days while on a 3 day Holiday weekend from work sucked but it was worth it)- maybe it will help your son since your DD is also PT.

[JBaxter]

What if you simply dont buy any more diapers/ pull ups? You could accidently run out of them. My boys were all younger than your ds but when we did do our week of potty boot camp ( so to speak) I gave them a weeks notice that on "X" day there would no longer be diapers in the house. It worked for us.

[peaceful_mama]

How do you feel about preschool? If he's not going and you find one that will take a child not PL'd, it might be a positive "peer pressure" experience. In my experience, if you find one with a few other kids not PL'd, and with good teachers who emphasize that everyone learns everything at a different pace, it will NOT be a negative experience.

the only other experience I have is with kids who *are* delayed and with them, it's the matter of hitting the right incentive or distraction. Or just the time that they are 'ready.' (A preschool, with a mix of abilities, and yes, some kids who were PL and some not. Our entire attitude was that everyone learns things at different ages and has different things they can and can't do, so it never really occured to anyone to make fun of someone who was still in diapers.)

One kid who stands out in my mind was over 4, and it came once she'd gained a *lot* of language and in my mind, when she got good and ready to do it. (she had literally maybe one spoken word and a few signs when she came to us at 3.--the thing that obviously relates to this situation was the "good and ready to do it" part. She had plenty of ability to communicate the need and occasional potty use for a *long* time before she finally just "got it.")

a huge part of it is just the kid. It WILL happen. I've worked in lots of daycare and school settings and I have yet to see a typically developing child hit 5 and still be full time in diapers.