Looking for advice about intact foreskin

[starryeyedmama]

Hello Mothering Mommies ~
Just found out I was supposed to be pulling my son's foreskin back to completely expose the tip of his penis and now it seems like its too big to come out of that little hole. Any advice for helping the opening to stretch out?
Thank you so much!!!

[Fellow Traveler]

Oh no. Who told you that and for what purpose? In general it is not necessary (and should be discouraged) to retract a boys foreskin. This is mostly because you don't know when he is retractable. Some boys are very young others in their teens others may be able to do it but then lose that ability until sometime later, doing so before he can may cause damage. The general rule is that only the boy should retract his own penis.

[Cetan Luta]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Oh no. Who told you that and for what purpose? In general it is not necessary (and should be discouraged) to retract a boys foreskin. This is mostly because you don't know when he is retractable. Some boys are very young others in their teens others may be able to do it but then lose that ability until sometime later, doing so before he can may cause damage. The general rule is that only the boy should retract his own penis.

[starryeyedmama]

foreskin question

Oh ok! Im relieved to read that. My dear friend who has two intact sons and is now a grandma wasn't sure but thought I should have been doing that when he was younger. He is starting to try on his own but it doesnt seem to want to come out yet although it sounds like this is not a problem at 28 months....His father is circumsized so he isn't any help in this regard

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by starryeyedmama

Oh ok! Im relieved to read that. My dear friend who has two intact sons and is now a grandma wasn't sure but thought I should have been doing that when he was younger. He is starting to try on his own but it doesnt seem to want to come out yet although it sounds like this is not a problem at 28 months....His father is circumsized so he isn't any help in this regard

No problem, that's why we're here. He can do what he wants by the way he won't hurt himself (though you might cringe) because he can get the feedback and no when to stop.

[Anastasiya]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

No problem, that's why we're here. He can do what he wants by the way he won't hurt himself (though you might cringe) because he can get the feedback and no when to stop.

I don't like this advice (and I see it on here often) because kids CAN hurt themselves. Just because a child feels pain doing something doesn't mean he'll stop doing it.

I only felt the need to point that out because my DS2 retracted himself very aggressively and was in a lot of pain and inflamed because of it, and my DS3 grabs at himself so roughly in the bath that he causes his scrotum to bleed. We have to keep him in a cloth diaper for bath time.



To the OP - Yes, leave him alone. At birth the foreskin is FUSED to the glans. Forcing the foreskin back causes tearing to occur inside and is very painful and opens a child up to infection. Also, the foreskin hole is not elastic enough yet to stretch over the glans. That comes with puberty.

[starryeyedmama]

thank you all & one more question

Im feeling soooo much better now.thank you!
But Im new to the forum and what is DH, DD, OP etc.?

[Night_Nurse]

OP= original poster
DH= dear husband
ds= dear son, etc.

By the way, welcome!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

starryeyedmama

The advice to retract was given many years ago and that is why so many boys ended up being circed at a young age because of the damage that it causes. That is where all the horrible things about having a foreskin came from. If left alone to do what nature dictates odds of your ds having any problems are very low. Though like any other body part it can have issues but all of them are treatable without circ.

Make sure that no one messes with his foreskin including Dr's most here in the USA are still trying to catch up and dont have up to date information.

Some reading you might want to do:
The Definition of Retraction & Why it is BAD
Possible Separation Issues
Warning to Parents of Intact Sons

Yes sometimes kids do hurt themselves but odds are it wont be as bad an injury and they tend not to do something again if it hurts.

[claddaghmom]

Pulling it back is actually a myth that was started by a pro-circumcision guy...Guttmacher...if I recall correctly (IIRC). It came with the cultural belief that foreskins are dirty and can harbor infection underneath.

At birth, the foreskin is tightly attached to the penis. This protects it. As urine comes out, it flushes the interior area. Automatic cleaning.

The foreskin will slowly detach and it can take many years to complete. It's related more to puberty. In rare cases, the opening is too small in adulthood. Creams and self-stretching will usually resolve this.

Just chant: INTACT, DON'T RETRACT. ONLY CLEAN WHAT IS SEEN.

If he is starting to retract on his own, trust him. He will know what hurts.

[Night_Nurse]

Lots of good info here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1050900

[tutucrazy]

never, never, never try to retract yours son. Please read these:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/basic...act-child.html

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/phony...diagnosis.html