September Mommies, March Thread

[adventuregirl]

So here we are, its March! Most of us will enter our second trimester this month, yahoooo!!!!

[MamaAcorn]

We do rabbit-rabbit too! I picked it up while I was a camp counselor in college and have done it ever since!

I had a dream of twins last night too (my second twin dream!). Though it wasn't exactly a happy dream. I had a beautiful boy and a girl and was admiring them with nurses and doctors and such around them when I realized that I wasn't in my body and that I had just had a C-section . I looked over to see myself being operated on, but I was so far away. I gave each of my babies a kiss and said goodbye so I had go back. Then I woke up. I woke up feeling peaceful, but I was a bit spooked. It totally freaked out my DH when I told him this morning.

My appointment last Friday was cancelled due to the snow, so I have to wait a few more days to hopefully hear the baby's heart beat. Though it was snowy Friday, the weekend weather was beautiful and sunny. Hope everyone else had a great weekend and is feeling good.

Pam

[Caroline248]

Wow...new thread! Hello everyone! I am home today, enjoying hte gorgeous weather. Feeling pretty good, although I am HUGE. Definatly wearing maternity. A bit more energy, not as much nasuea. How are you all doing? I don't know what has been posted on the old thread, I have been offline a couple of days.

My next midwife appt is next week, I am looking forward to it because I have been so panicky about this pregnancy.

Hope you all are well!

Caroline

[JenInMpls]

totally off topic

T

Our neighbor is a middle-aged, fit single woman who lives alone. Her son died a number of years ago and she inherited his dog, a vizsla, which is a kind of Hungarian bird hunting dog. I copied this from the akc vizsla page:

"It can become frustrated and destructive if not given adequate exercise. Most can be stubborn, some can be timid, and others can be overly excitable. It is gentle, affectionate, and sensitive, and can be protective. The Vizsla makes a good companion for an active owner who spends a lot of time outdoors."

A little breed background for you.

Our neighbor's son's dog died last year, and shortly thereafter, she went out and bought a new vizsla, a bitch about 1 year old. This dog is young, energetic, and is just dying to play. Unfortunately, our neighbor isn't.

Our neighbor is a massage therapist and sees clients in her home. In addition, she is the massage therapist for a local univ. swim team. She is home all day, but rarely outside. Her back patio is approximately 100 square feet. She frequently lets the dog out for 15-60 minute intervals, during which the dog barks non-stop and everything and nothing. She barks at people, dogs, cats (including my cats if they happen to be looking out the window), squirrels, birds, butterflies, her owner indoors, and sometimes even the wind. This dog can bark about 3 barks per second and will keep it up for minutes on end with occasional 20-second interludes to pee, pick up a tennis ball, and run from one side of the patio to the other. She is a loud barker and has a large-dog bark, and frequently barks herself hoarse, but that doesn't stop. Her owner lets her out on her gentle touch lead sometimes but this does not affect her barking.

Our neighbor frequently puts her dog out when she is working with clients. I can't imagine how unrelaxing it must be to get a massage with a dog constantly barking outside. It means that we sometimes have to deal with the dog being outside for an hour until the client leaves. She also puts the dog out while she showers (and is therefore unreachable) or when she makes phone calls.

Once a day she goes running with the dog. They do not play (neighbor claims "she's not interested in playing"). This could not be further from the truth as she postures to both me and Jo to play. Jo plays with her frequently but there's not a lot you can do in a 10x10 patio.

The dog is very friendly, and I often feel terribly sorry for her. I greet her every time I see her outside and her licking almost feels desperate. She is nearly beside herself with joy that someone will pay attention to her. The dog is clearly bored, but we are at our wit's end with her barking, especially I am!!! The last outside time is always after 10 and the first morning outside time is never later than 6:30, even on weekends. Neither Jo nor I have to be to work early, and 6:30 is 1.5 hours before Jo's alarm goes off. This cutting into my sleep upsets me and the canine alarm wakes me into a bad mood - it's not exactly like waking to the sweet song of a robin. It's also going to force us to keep the windows closed in the spring unless we want the barking that much louder.

I am afraid that baby is going to come and we're going to find ourself retreating indoors to get away from the barking or even leaving our home for some peace and quiet. What's more, I'm a bit scared about the neighbors across the street from our neighbor because I know they hate her dog's constant barking too, and I wouldn't be surprised if they owned guns, since we suspect they are involved in gang activity and concealed carry is legal in Minnesota.

Please, tell me what you would do if you were in my shoes. What do you think is the best tack for presenting this to an owner we think is neglectful and irresponsible? She has told us that her dog has passed obedience school. we find this hard to believe.

Thanks for indulging my off-topic question.

xo, jen

[badomama]

Mambo everybody!

Sarah, I also laughed at the image of Jack mimicking you by spitting into the toilet. Very cute, but sorry about the vomiting!

Jen, ooohh that's a tough one. Here's my two cents: I think it is a good idea to talk to her face to face in a firm and serious way letting her know that it has become a problem that must be dealt with immediately. I also think it is a good idea to assume that she really loves the dog and probably feels guilty about the dog's barking and its need to play more than she wants to. Even if you think she is neglectful, I think it helps to assume that she is at some level aware of this and needs help. You might tell her how the barking is affecting you now and that you are concerned about how it will be once the baby comes. I also think it would be nice to stress that you really like the dog but think that there is a problem that needs some problem-solving. Maybe you can help her think about how to solve the problem and then be firm about telling her that the problem needs to be solved in a positive way before it becomes a source of conflict.

If she doesn't do something about it that results in a real change, then a more aggressive approach is called for. But it doesn't sound like something you can really put up with much longer!

I feel for you! And, I really love to think about how to deal with difficult situations a lot more than I actually like to deal with them! Good luck!

I can't find anything serious on Rabbit Rabbit, but according to www.globalpsychics.com it looks like an old superstition from Britain. I picked it up from a family that I nannied for back in the day and have been fighting for the first Rabbit Rabbit ever since. It's fun!

Back to the pregnancy topic...I swear I can feel the top of my uterus quite clearly now although I can't really see it! Very exciting.

Steph

[Lazuli]

I'm back! We were in Detroit all last week and my laptop is rather dead, it couldn't find the modem so I was stuck with no internet. Poor me!

I had my first appointment with my new doctors yesterday. It went pretty well, though my arm still hurts where they drew the 4 vials of blood. Ouch! Didn't get to hear the heartbeat as they really don't like using doppler and he said it's a bit too early to hear it without. (This is okay though, as my old doctor insisted on weekly ultrasounds so I go to hear the heartbeat on the two visits I had with him before saying no more.) The doctor confirmed that my due date is September 7th and we're planning a homebirth. Now to just get the house in order between now and then...

I'm feeling better, hardly throwing up and able to eat more, hurray! Though I did have to break down and order a maternity skirt as I'm down to two old ratty skirts that are comfortable, the rest aren't. My husband is highly amused as I'd have no problem buying baby clothes at this point, but am a bit freaked out about buying maternity clothes. It doesn't help that it's hard to find things to fit me since I'm plussized. According to my scale I've lost about 18 lbs, eep! I feel pretty good though so I'm not going to worry about it. And now I think I'm going to go find something else to eat.

Lazuli

[JenInMpls]

Moin moin (a greeting used in far northern German for 'good morning),

I like 'Rabbit Rabbit'!

Lazuli, every time I see your posts I picture a Lazuli Bunting. I'm glad you're feeling better and that you've found a skirt to order. I feel weirded out buying maternity clothes too, but people have given me so much now that it doesn't matter, I am quite set as long as no one gives me any crap at work for dressing a bit more casually. I wouldn't worry about the weight you dropped, I dropped 13 lbs and the midwife was up in arms but it's coming back quickly.

Sydney is here with a "mrr" to you all, she fell asleep on the cedar chest and forgot to join me in bed so I got an uninterrupted night's sleep!!

That is, of course, after I spent 1/2 hour crying to Jo about how maybe this becoming parents thing wasn't such a good idea after all. Everyone else is so excited and happy for me, why aren't I? I still feel sick half the time, and am already amazingly sad about leaving my career despite how important it is to me to stay home with my child. I got the latest Mothering mag in the mail yesterday and read about a woman who "danced for joy" when she found out she was pregnant - I have not done anything for joy around being pregnant.

I guess I'm just scared. And Jo, once again, said all of the right things and then read me a chapter from Winnie-the-Pooh, but I feel asleep only a little bit into it and she read most of it out loud to a sleeping Jen.

Happy Tuesday.

xo, j

[Jodie]

Hello ladies.
Hope your tuesday is going well so far.

I'll be 11wks tomorrow! My next appointment is on Fri.
We're going to try and hear the heartbeat. I'm so excited.
By looking at my inner eye lid, my iron is still low.
I just got some yellowdock last night so hopfully that will help.
I was taking molasses twice a day, but can't do it anymore. It makes me want to puke. Hopefully I'll only have a few more weeks of "morning sickness".
I can't wait till I can eat what I should and not just what I can.
I haven't been eating the most healthy of foods.:LOL
According to my scale at home I've lost 2 lbs. Can't tell, I have to unbutton/unzip my jeans all the time. I'm overwieght so I'm hoping I won't gain too much since I have so much to spare. But I know my body will gain or get rid of what it needs. If I need to gain 50lbs than I'll gain 50lbs.

So is anyone totally over their sickness period and how far along are you?

[austinmomma]

Good morning, everyone. I spent the weekend with my mom and sister in Houston. My mom bought me a bunch of maternity clothes... she's so sweet. She couldn't believe how big I am (my doc says I'm measuring 18-20 weeks even though I'll only be 14 weeks on Thursday). It's the first time I've seen her since I found out I'm pregnant. And she's really worried now that I'm alone. So just seeing her happy made me happy. However, I did get sad this weekend when I thought about moving back to Louisiana. I've lived here in Austin for 11 years and just love it.



Jen, I agree that you should have a talk with the neighbor. I hate to bring up my crazy border collie again, but she's the same way. If I left her outside she would bark all day. So I let her out whenever she stands by the back door. And if it doesn't look like she wants to go out to do her "business", I play 15 minutes of fetch with her and it really poops her out. She absolutely loves it. And it only takes 15 minutes! I don't know how open your neighbor is to suggestion but 15 minutes isn't that much to ask. I'm sure it is very frustrating to hear barking at all hours. Sorry I don't have better advice. I wish you the best of luck.

Otherwise, I'm glad to hear toes are healing and food is being digested!

Love,
Kim

[MamaAcorn]

Jen,
We have a large dog (half black lab and half golden retreiver). Right after ds was born, we had the police showing up at our door for his barking. He didn't bark excessively before ds. In our opinion, he wasn't barking excessively after either. We're good dog parents and played and walked him frequently, but with the new baby, attention was shifting, and just like any other child, Nova (our dog) was acting out a bit. What made me so upset (I literally cried about this for hours at a time being 1-2 weeks post partum) is that nobody ever mentioned it to us. They would just call the police within 30 seconds of hearing a bark ( I wondered if it was even our dog at times). The police only showed up twice and were very, very nice (I'm sure that it helped that I answered the door while nursing a newborn). Anyway, we became so strict with the dog's outside habits after all this. We always did our best not disturb our neighbors, but were extra vigilant after the police came.

My advice is also to talk to your neighbor and tell her your concerns. She should appreciate your honesty and try to fbetter the situation. If it doesn't help or if she brushes you off, then consider calling the police.

DS is calling. Hope that helps some.

Pam

[adventuregirl]

Hello Ladies! Hope all is well in your world today.

Jen, how frustrating about the dog, I would be up in arms myself. I think that the best way to go is to talk to her, and also get some info on local ordinances if you have to take it a step further. Even in my very rural county, we have a dog barking ordinance and owners can get tickets for complaints, multiple offenses can lead to further action if the problem isn't taken care of. I know you don't want to start a fight with your neighbor, but its good to know what laws are on your side, especially when it is messing with your quality of life. You could always call in an anonymous complaint if you are feeling intimidated by a talk.

Lazuli, good to see you and so glad you are happy with your new doc!

Jodie, I have not felt sick almost at all for a good week, I am 13 weeks, 3 days today. I should add that my sick feeling was not all that severe, I never puked (came close a few times) and it was very much centered around being too hungry or just having eaten. I still get a wave if I brush my teeth too far back.

I have resistance to buying maternity clothes, but it seems like it might not be long before I don't have a choice. I could feel the smallest bulge coming up above my pubic bone this morning in bed, not to mention the overall abdominal expansion.

Anybody reading any good books? I am halfway through Our Babies, Ourselves, and it is great! Talks all about different cultures practices in parenting, I am loving it.

[shannon0218]

Hi Jen, I read your post about your neighbors dog and figured I'd add my professional opinion:LOL
With that breed of dog, it is entirely possible the owner isn't neglecting it. Panicked licking is a sign of submission rather than lack of attention, submission when combined with hyper activity pretty much always equals what you have described (sorry)
There are a few options the owner can try though......
1st--take the Gentle Leader off!!!!! they tend to make a dog more submissive
2nd--at least here in Canada, they make a muzzle called a Husher muzzle--it is a training tool and must be used with supervision, basically, it is an elastic muzzle, it is fitted loose enough that the dog can drink and pant, but because it's elastic, if the dog barks, it snaps his mouth shut again--thus making barking very tiring and not very enjoyable.
3rd--Bark control collars--they come in many models--it is well worth it to purchase a good one--the cheap ones tend to correct when the dog isn't barking or if she just bangs the collar. Used correctly they are humane and they work quickly
4th--she can purchase the dog an activity based toy--such as a buster cube or tricky treats ball--basically you fill it with kibble or treats (I use a combo) and the dog has to roll/throw it around to make the kibble fall out--this dog needs some mental stimulation and since hunt and prey drive are inate in these dogs, they usually respond well to toys such as these. Something else that works is a kong stuffed with peanut butter--it can even be frozen then, Kong has a website with a bunch of "recipes" for Kong stuffings.
5th--if she can, she should look into some sort of activity that uses this dogs mind--agility, tracking etc, in the same amount of time a walk takes she can thoroughly tire this dog out--she can also look into a daycare program a few days a week where the dog can go and run and play and bark her head off with other dogs--a tired dog is almost always a good dog--but these dogs are next to impossible to tire.
If you need any more pointers, feel free to email me!
Shannon

[chrissy]

Hi girls!

Well, it's true, it's really true- I have an actual baby growing in my belly!!! I know that sounds silly since I have been so sick and tired, but I kind of had this fear that it was all in my head and that when I went to my appointment I would find out that I wasn't really pregnant. But I AM!!! Overall, the appointment went well- my pee was good, my iron was good, blood pressure was good. I had a quick u/s and saw my beautiful little baby just hanging out, heart a'beating, cute as could be. According to me I am 10 weeks today, according to the u/s 10 weeks and 1 day, so no difference really. The midwife was okay but she made a few comments that kinda freaked me out, plus I just didn't feel nearly the connection with her that I did with my homebirth midwife. So that sealed the deal and we will definitely be having a homebirth. So that's my news for the day.

Shannon, I'm glad you are still checking in with us. I still think about you often and miss your posts here.

Adventuregirl, I have got to get that book. I have heard so many good things about it. I have used copies of 'Continuum Concept' and 'Having Your Baby Naturally' coming in the mail and I'm looking forward to starting both of those.

Pam, how mean of somebody to call the police on your dog without even talking to you first! And with a newborn! Who raises these people?
And, wow, 2 twin dreams. That has got to mean something- like maybe twins, :LOL

Kim, sounds like a nice visit with your mom. I'm sorry you are down about leaving Austin. When will you move?

Jodie, yay for 11 weeks!! Poo on your low iron! I have heard of a supplement called Floradix, but I think it is prescription.

Jen, to you! Having your first child is such a huge change. It is so normal to be feeling the way you are. Especially because you are so sick. I remember feeling the same way with Noah. I bet once your belly really starts to grow and you are feeling little kicks and rolls you will really start to bond with that little baby and everything will feel better.

Lazuli, Welcome back! Yay on your good appointment!

Steph, woo hoo on your growing uterus!

Caroline, So good to hear that you are feeling better.

Well, phew I think that's everybody! Hope you all have happy Tuesdays.
Love,
Chrissy

[sistermama]

Chrissy - glad you had a good appt, sorry you didn't really click with the midwife. But, homebirth midwives are so much more fun! How old is Noah? Is he going to be at the birth? I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with Jack. Knowing him, he would love to help me grunt and pant!!!

I'm so excited cause I just did my taxes online, it only took 20 minutes and for the first time I am getting a REFUND!!! A $1200 refund! Wow! Money in my savings account! What a novel idea!

[austinmomma]

Chrissy,
Congrats on seeing the bambino! I'm thinking of moving some time in June. But now I'm SO confused. Even though my husband does not want to be married, I'm trying not to be selfish and I don't want the baby to grow up so far away from him. He doesn't have to be married to me but I want my baby to have his father in his life... more than just once or twice a year. Any input would be much appreciated.

Shannon,
I'm glad you're sticking around. And, as always, I'm so appreciative of your dog advice. You seem to be pretty patient... I know you'll be a great mom some day.

And to everyone else, I hope you have a wonderful night and good baby dreams.

Love,
Kim

[banana girl]

finding a midwife

So, i keep saying I want to find a midwife, but haven't DONE a thing about it! I am wondering how you ladies went about finding a midwife who you clicked with. Any suggestions on where to start? I am leaning twords having a homebirth but also interested in birth centers......

Love and kisses
Anna

[sistermama]

I actually just made up a list of midwives out of the phonebook. The first on that I called, I really clicked with instantly on the phone, so I didn't even bother calling any of the others. I love her so much that I am using her a second time. I ended up transferring to the hospital after a very loooooong labor and she and her partner stayed with me the whole time. They had to take a lot of shit from the doctors there (as did I) who had absolutely no respect for them.

One thing with birth centers that I think could be a downside is that often the midwife you get for your labor is the one who is on call at the time. If you really like all the midwives, that would be fine, but it can be hard if you really like one and don't care too much for another. However, my good friend had her baby at a birth center a couple of months ago and loved all the midwives, so she had a great experience.

[JenInMpls]

Thanks, everyone, for your dog advice.

Chrissy, thanks so much for the virtual hug, it cheered me up.

I had my weigh-in today that turned into a mini-appointment with the midwife, which was not scheduled. I gained a whole pound WHOOPEE! and once again had to tell the midwife that I didn't want to be Dopplered. I made an appointment for an ultrasound at 18 weeks in order to reassure myself that I do, indeed, have a baby growing in me and not a molar pregnancy (medical people should not drop ideas near me, I pick up on them too well and then obsess about them) as well as to check the placement of the placenta and all that. Trying to decide whether to have afp blood test given that its results are inconclusive and can yield false positives 1/2 of the time. It doesn't really matter what the test indicates, we're having the baby regardless.

Anna, you may want to check with a local La Leche League leader, she may have suggestions for names of midwives or could refer you to someone who did have those names. Usually their names and phone #s are listed online on the La Leche League site.

Holy refund, Sarah! Lucky you!!!

I can definitely feel my uterus too. It's there and poking out ever so slightly.

As for interesting books I've read lately, none about babies, but the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" was fascinating. It's a fairly quick-read novel and does have everything to do with parenting.

Enough for now, wish you were all here so I could share the freakin' HUGE German chocolate bar my friend sent me for my birthday,

jen

[boobykinmamma]

Hi, All! I've been reading all the posts but haven't had much time to sit down and reply. I just have a moment now--gotta get to bed. It sounds like everyone is doing well, moving right along, despite dealing with broken toes, dogs, hot temperatures, and queasy tummies.

I weighed myself at my parent's house last week, and had already gained 4 or 5 pounds at 9 weeks. I always seem to gain around 8 lbs. the first trimester, but then about 35 overall, so I'm not worried, plus I lost extra weight from breastfeeding and chasing my kiddos around. My belly is definitely pooching now--time for maternity in about 2-3 weeks, I'd say.

I finally called my midwife today, and she was so happy to hear that we're pregnant again. She's such a wonderful, calming presence, and I can't wait to start my appointments--I go next Wednesday, and I'm pretty sure we'll get to hear the heartbeat.

We should start posting belly shots pretty soon! It would be great to see what we all look like, too.

Must sleep. Take care, mamas!

Heather

[badomama]

mosquitoes and pica

Hi everyone,

I wish I could respond to you all but I have really got to be extra productive today at work. Ugg. I'm so unmotivated.

So it is all me today: Mosquitoes are eating me alive. I am usually mosquito bait, but this is ridiculous. I think they smell pregnant blood. And they are deadly here. Anybody have any natural repelant ideas?

I don't have pica, but I see that all the markets here sell these little clay sticks about the size of lipsticks. I've seen pregnant people eating them. If I did have pica, it would be awfully easy to satisfy that craving! They cost less than a penny.

My u/s is tomorrow! I am very excited and feel fine about getting a quick one, especially considering I will go for two months without any kind of check up. I'd like to know now if there is anything I should follow up on before June.

ok, back to the annual report still in progress!

bye, Steph