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S/O Do You Kiss Your Kids on the Lips? - Page 5

post #81 of 148
I kiss my toddler on the lips. I wish I hadn't kissed the bottoms of his cute little baby feet because now he wants to kiss my big ol' smelly mom feet. No matter how much I say "Gross, yuck. No. Get away from there." I actually have to move my feet pretty quick to keep it from happening.
post #82 of 148
Nope. No lip kissing. Kissing everywhere else, yes. To me, there is an intimacy about lips that is tied to sexuality, but of course, that's totally just me. (It's theorized that lip kissing, biologically/anthropologically speaking, is for two mates to check out each other's hormone/pheromone levels for breeding purposes...)

I think it's a cultural/regional thing. I don't know of ANY parent in my area who kisses their kids on the lips.
post #83 of 148
You bet! As often as I can!
post #84 of 148
I grew up in a distinctly less demonstrative family, and it was weird to me how much my inlaws hug ALL the time. But my family kisses on the lips! I'm 43, still kiss my daddy on the mouth - only thing I think is odd is that he has mustache & beard!

we do very animated noisy mmmmmmwwwwwwaaaaaa! kisses here. my 1-year old does the last-minute-fake-out-open-mouth kisses now ... eewwww

DDs are 10, 6, & 1 - and we would honor any desire of theirs to stop kissing on the lips.

ETA: as for germs, my mom is an MD, who specializes in geriatric medicine and hospice care. I think if there was a cause for alarm, she would have told me by now - because, well, she's a miss-know-it-all.

--janis
post #85 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Nope. No lip kissing. Kissing everywhere else, yes. To me, there is an intimacy about lips that is tied to sexuality, but of course, that's totally just me. (It's theorized that lip kissing, biologically/anthropologically speaking, is for two mates to check out each other's hormone/pheromone levels for breeding purposes...)
There is an evolutionary basis for kissing that has nothing to do with mating though... It's call homemade baby food pre-blender years, aka chew it up and feed your child like many animals do, mouth to mouth.
post #86 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrabbit View Post
ETA: as for germs, my mom is an MD, who specializes in geriatric medicine and hospice care. I think if there was a cause for alarm, she would have told me by now - because, well, she's a miss-know-it-all.
Well, I don't think there's necessarily "cause for alarm" but there are certainly many diseases that can be spread through mouth-to-mouth kissing (and some which are typically spread that way).
post #87 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
Well, I don't think there's necessarily "cause for alarm" but there are certainly many diseases that can be spread through mouth-to-mouth kissing (and some which are typically spread that way).


But we are talking about kissing our children. Surely, if they had a contagious illness/disease, there would be plenty of chances to catch it living in close contact with them. I could see not kissing a currently sick kiddo, bit when they are healthy, I just don't see the huge added risk of germs and viruses via a quick smooch on the lips.
post #88 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
There is an evolutionary basis for kissing that has nothing to do with mating though... It's call homemade baby food pre-blender years, aka chew it up and feed your child like many animals do, mouth to mouth.
My MIL told me several times that early humans actually ate food and then vomited it into our babies' mouths, like birds do. Anyway, I'm not at all sure that apes pre-chew their babies' foods. My understanding is that they nurse until their babies can eat regular food. At any rate, that's how my DD did it. I am dubious about the significance of any nutritional benefits to infants of eating pre-chewed foods when breastmilk is readily available. And I don't see why, if early humans were to do this, they wouldn't spit into their hands and use their hands to feed their babies. That seems much more convenient.

Anyway, I know this is totally OT, but I've wondered about it for a while now.
post #89 of 148
I went to kiss my son on the cheek the other night and he turned his head and I got him square on the smacker.

0.5 seconds of internal confusion followed by the realization: "dude ... he's your six week old son ... you're wiping his butt, you're cleaning his penis and testicles several times daily, and you're lying in bed totally nonchalant while the guy is feeding from your lover's breasts which up until a few months ago seemed to have a whole completely different purpose ... this is normal, not weird ... welcome to fatherhood dad!"

I still am pretty much in the "lips are for lovers" camp ... but I think the most important thing is to simply remember to let our kids know that we love them, however we go about it! :-)

I'll keep aiming for the cheek, neck, forehead, etc but I guess it's ok to miss now and then..
post #90 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
My MIL told me several times that early humans actually ate food and then vomited it into our babies' mouths, like birds do. Anyway, I'm not at all sure that apes pre-chew their babies' foods. My understanding is that they nurse until their babies can eat regular food. At any rate, that's how my DD did it. I am dubious about the significance of any nutritional benefits to infants of eating pre-chewed foods when breastmilk is readily available. And I don't see why, if early humans were to do this, they wouldn't spit into their hands and use their hands to feed their babies. That seems much more convenient.

Anyway, I know this is totally OT, but I've wondered about it for a while now.
Well there is a level of intimacy in exchanging pre-chewed food. It was generally done in situations where nursing wasn't a viable option (as is grandma could feed the baby if mom was dead or whathaveyou).
post #91 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
But we are talking about kissing our children. Surely, if they had a contagious illness/disease, there would be plenty of chances to catch it living in close contact with them. I could see not kissing a currently sick kiddo, bit when they are healthy, I just don't see the huge added risk of germs and viruses via a quick smooch on the lips.
I'm not arguing that at all. In fact, it's far more likely that your kid will catch something from you (notably herpes simplex, which the vast majority of adults carry and which can be very serious in infants). Again, I'm not trying to say what anyone should do. But I do take issue with the implication that germs can't be spread by kissing. Of course they can.
post #92 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
Again, I'm not trying to say what anyone should do. But I do take issue with the implication that germs can't be spread by kissing. Of course they can.
of course they can! I certainly didn't mean they "can't" - just that I don't understand the overall fear of getting germs from kissing on the mouth, and my mother, who "knows" everything (that's sarcasm, by the way) would have said something to me instead of DOING it, if *in her opinion* there was a reason it was a thoroughly dangerous thing to do.

I find it totally ironic, though, that I find hugging way more intimate than kissing my dad on the mouth. oh - and I wouldn't kiss my brother.

--janis
post #93 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Well there is a level of intimacy in exchanging pre-chewed food. It was generally done in situations where nursing wasn't a viable option (as is grandma could feed the baby if mom was dead or whathaveyou).
You don't think the vast majority of the time they'd have entrusted the baby to another nursing mother...or left it to die? At least since humans began eating grain we've had mechanical means of grinding food. And before that time life would have been very perilous and food would have been scarce. A child who could not eat ordinary cut-up food (let's say a baby of less than a year) would have had very little chance of survival without breast milk.

If pre-chewing of food was done at all in our species I think it was likely an aberration, not an evolutionary advantage.
post #94 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
when breastmilk is readily available. And I don't see why, if early humans were to do this, they wouldn't spit into their hands and use their hands to feed their babies. That seems much more convenient.
Wasteful. If you spit it into your hand, you're not going to be able to get it all into the kid's mouth. Plus, mouth to mouth means you don't have contaminants from your hands, you then have a sticky hand that you have to lick or clean, ect.

I think spitting it into another place before feeding, if you're going to spit it, is pretty inconvenient, and inefficient.
post #95 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
Wasteful. If you spit it into your hand, you're not going to be able to get it all into the kid's mouth. Plus, mouth to mouth means you don't have contaminants from your hands, you then have a sticky hand that you have to lick or clean, ect.

I think spitting it into another place before feeding, if you're going to spit it, is pretty inconvenient, and inefficient.
Oh, please, we're talking about prehistory here. How do you think the food got into your mouth in the first place? I don't think these people had much problem with getting their hands dirty. And I really don't imagine it being easier to get food into a kid's mouth with your tongue than with your fingers. I don't know about you, but my fingers are much more dexterous. Not to mention that it's going to come back out again anyway (we're talking about babies here, right?) and you're going to have to catch it and stick it back in. I don't see the mouth being the most efficient method of dealing with this.
post #96 of 148
My mom still tries to kiss me on the lips & I really do not like it. Plus it feels forced and blows the nice goodbye moment or whatever. Ick.
post #97 of 148
What about siblings kissing each other on the lips?

I never thought about discouraging it, in fact, I might even encourage my younger two boys to for a photo op . They do so, anyway, so it's not some foreign thing Im asking them to do. Now I'm wondering if people on FB think it's creepy that my LO's are kissing on the lips in a pic... if it's something they, too, think is for lovers.
post #98 of 148
It isn't about potentially sharing germs for me. Kissing on the lips feels like a sexual thing to me. I completely understand that it doesn't feel that way for everyone, and I don't think ill of those who do choose to kiss kids or other family members on the lips.
post #99 of 148
Are mouths germy? Sure. But most illnesses are spread by hand to hand contact which is why handwashing is important. Kissing your healthy baby/toddler/kid doesn't put you at increased risk for getting sick. We ALL have bacteria in our mouths. My DS is so darn cute there is no way I could stop myself from kissing those sweet little pink lips. I don't know how those of you who don't hold yourselves back!
post #100 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
You don't think the vast majority of the time they'd have entrusted the baby to another nursing mother...or left it to die? At least since humans began eating grain we've had mechanical means of grinding food. And before that time life would have been very perilous and food would have been scarce. A child who could not eat ordinary cut-up food (let's say a baby of less than a year) would have had very little chance of survival without breast milk.

If pre-chewing of food was done at all in our species I think it was likely an aberration, not an evolutionary advantage.
Look, seriously. I am just saying what I heard on National Geographic ok? And apperently there are still cultures in the world that do it this way.

You may not believe it, but people who have dedicated their lives to studying different cultures through out history believe this was done.
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