tips for dealing with screaming 14mo?

[zomigi]

My DD is 14.5 months old and has been having lots of anger/frustration issues lately, with lots of screaming. It's really a trigger for both DH and I, and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried saying things like "I can't understand you [or hear you] when you scream" but I don't think she's old enough to really understand it. I've also gotten mad at her and harshly told her that screaming is not allowed, and while this may work for a moment, it doesn't help longer term. And, if you full-on yell at her (don't intend to, very occasionally happens), she always, always laughs.

She's also a kid who screams for fun (which we don't mind usually, and encourage sometimes by screaming too). She's really high energy and smart.

I'm going to be getting some books on discipline, but in the meantime, any ideas for dealing with screaming? (She already knows signs.) This is a hard age because she's old enough to be "naughty" but not old enough to understand many of the discipline things you read about for toddlers.

[K-Mom3]

Don't have a great answer. Just want to say, you're not alone. I'm working on this one with my 15 mo dd. My best tool is redirection. Peekaboo is pretty good.

When my dd is throwing a tantrum because she doesn't get her own way (like I won't let her hold the paring knife or stand on the table) I sometimes leave the room. It doesn't always work but I know that if she gets my undivided attention every time she screams that could be a problem...

[blackbird2]

Ok, this may be a little weird, but what really helped me was remembering that screaming can be really important survival/self-defense skill both for children and adults. Girls in our culture are particularly not encouraged to be loud and vocal about disagreement, but screaming can save one from potentially ugly and unpleasant situations.

On a more practical level, if the root is anger or frustration, can you preempt it? See her getting frustrated and help first? Accept that this is the way she's expressing herself right now and respond anyway, trusting that she will grow out of it? Become absolutely fascinated with a toy of hers if you think she's just pulling your strings (distraction and ignoring)?

My LO has gone through screamy periods, but they don't last forever. He also screamed at a kid who hit him, and the kid jumped back in shock - the power of sound!

[lolar2]

DS was such a screamer at that age! I happened to be in therapy when he went through his screaming stage, and the therapist told me I should try to learn to relax myself as much as possible so it would bother me less, and that eventually he would learn how to use an inside voice. And he did. I don't know if this is too optimistic-- or too pessimistic-- but I couldn't teach him anything behavioral at that age. I just had to survive and make sure he survived until he became older and more agreeable.

[rivkah]

I am quite sympathetic. Right now, my 8-month-old loves to scream for fun. She has caused the entire family to get headaches on occasion.

This may not be the answer you want, but I suggest patience. This is a hard age, because language lags a bit behind physical development. You little one will very likely scream less as she learns more words. Imagine how frustrated you would be if you didn't have language to express yourself. You'd liekly find yourself screaming every now and again.

If you are still nursing, I find that a quick nursing break can usually sooth the savage beast.

[mizznicole]

I have an AWFUL screamer. My M.O. was to completely ignore it - however, this was a lot harder if other people were around, and it was really tough in public places. So then it became "That's yucky/ugly/hurts my ears/ouch." Do you notice the triggers for the screaming? A lot of times with DS it was tiredness.

At just past 2 it's lessened a lot.