Scheduled c-section after UC?

[Xiaohua]

Anyone BTDT? My last two births were uneventful, peaceful unassisted homebirths. The last one was a solo UC waterbirth. I am pregnant again with baby #6, and this is a high risk pregnancy that will almost certainly end in a scheduled section before term.

Since I had my UC births, I have known deep in my heart that I would never have an unecessary c-section. The only way I'd end up in the hospital would be a true emergency. And that would be OK, because I'd be grateful for the
technology.

But now that I do need that life saving technology I am just crushed. This is
not what I had wanted. It's not OK. Many people come to UC after unsatisfying hospital births. It doesn't go the other way around. But there has to be someone out there who's done this? If so, can you please tell me how you made peace with it?

I am not looking for support for my high risk pregnancy - I've got plenty of that, most everyone I run into is disappointed, but they are disappointed not to have their vaginal birth in the hospital with all the interventions and technologies associated with that. And I am not saying that is wrong at all - just that for me, the leap to a scheduled section is even farther. And unless you have experience UC, you have no idea what a huge loss that is.

I know that some planned UC births end in emergency transfers with c-sections. I have always known that was a possibility for myself (though I always stuff that thought way down deep in the back of my mind and refuse to even think about it when I am pregnant). But I am only 22 weeks now, and I have 3 long months to try and come to terms with this. It's really hard.

Has anyone else gone through this? What helped you? Does it just take time?

Serena

[Amatullah0]

not btdt, but my first thought was "that sucks" I figured you need a lot of these right now:


and best wishes, I hope you can, despite the circumstances, turn it into a great experience

I think what I would do in a scheduled c-section would be to plan out as much as I can -- talk a lot with your OB about what to expect(until you get comfortable with the idea, ask her to play the music you wish, have a support person, etc.

[anj_rn]

Sorry I have not BTDT, but my natural birth plans with a midwife (no medical interventions) were derailed with a scheduled section. It was very hard to make peace with, and honestly it did not happen until after the birth. Here is what I wish I had known/been able to do.

1. Schedule a c-section tour with the hospital. With my 2nd child (and a VBAC derailment) I was smart enough to call the hospital, ask for L&D, and talk to a nurse. I explained the situation, and they gave my DH and I a private tour just geared towards a scheduled section. It was nice to know where I would be for prep, where DH would be, and what would happen with the baby.

2. Ask about music - the operating room was so not what I wanted for my experience, ask if they can play music for you or bring headphones.

3. Find out where you will be postpartum and decide what you want (also scope out the non-hospital food. We had access to a microwave, but no fridge, so DH packed a cooler before we left so we did not have to eat hospital food for every meal. In actuality, the food at my hospital was very good, just very limited in choices.

I do believe that healthy mama & baby is the most important, but you still have to grieve the loss of the birth you wanted. I still wish I could have had my birth center, midwife attended, no intervention birth, but I am glad my babies got here safely. I guess I have finally moved to acceptance, but it took time.

[AllieFaye]

I haven't had a c-section, but have considered what I would do. The hypnosis program that I use, Hypbirth, is supportive of c-section birth. I would still do the full preparation program, and listen to the labor cd immediately before leaving for the hospital. I would bring that along to listen to in addition to the epidural, as well as my post-partum recovery cd. After two UC births, I can't imagine that I could go the hospital route without support from my comfort zone, and my perspective.

Most importantly, I would limit my exposure to well-meaning, but misguided types. It would not benefit me to listen to clueless, thoughtless comments.

[Xiaohua]

Originally Posted by AllieFaye

Most importantly, I would limit my exposure to well-meaning, but misguided types. It would not benefit me to listen to clueless, thoughtless comments.

Yes, how true. Those comments are what hurt the most right now. So depressing!

And while this would be a scheduled section (for 37 to 39 weeks), it could end in an emergency, un-scheduled section any time between now and then. And I will certainly be inpatient on bedrest from week 34, if I should make it that far without other complications. I can't believe how far this pregnancy has departed from my hopes and dreams...

[zoebird]

i'm sorry for the loss of the birth you wanted, thankful for the technology that can help you and your child, and supportive of your process of making peace between what you wanted and your reality.

i do not know how i would come to terms with this. it is, essentially, an intellectual exercise for me, and so i cannot offer any insight what so ever into what i would do. but i can imagine, perhaps, that it would be extremely disappointing and upsetting to be in that position. i cannot imagine being in a hospital on bed rest for so long, either. that is terrible to me! in fact, i cannot even imagine how i would manage it.

i would only rest in the assurance that it is what is necessary and that it has it's own lessons and reasons for me. but even that is a bitter pill!

if it doesn't bother you, i will keep you in my thoughts and intentions. i do hope that you come to peace and end up having a great birth experience despite all of the things that you don't want.

[fyrebloom]

Not really BTDT but I planned a UC with my twins only to have to transfer for an emergency "scheduled" section. I had pre-e and my BP was skyrocketing. I knew from the beginning that a section was more likely because of the twins and because the twins were identical. I however was still REALLY holding out hope that I'd beat the odds and have a UC. I continued prenatal care because identical twins have certain risks that need to be monitored but in the end I was pretty broken up when the decision was made. I was treated very well at the hospital, BFing was a breeze, I healed well and I went on to UP and have a beautiful VBAC (another xfer... but I basically showed up and pushed him out LOL!). It's not the end of the world and poop happens. Just mentally prepare yourself and start grieving the loss of your UC now. I think it takes the sting out a bit to be really mentally ready for the surgery.

A few things, DO research heavily on how to have a safe c-section, get up and walk around as soon as humanly possible. Because this is scheduled it's likely to go MUCH easier then an emergency section. Insist on stitches and not staples. The risk of the scar healing badly are increased with stapleing (and the BS about needing the staples to drain when they cut through fat is just that. I was 270 lbs and I got stitches, and my scar is barely visable. It healed SO nicely). Make sure your womb is double sutured for safety for any subsequent pregnancies. Also be sure you watch yourself for ppd. I had it terribly after my twins (probably a mix of having twins and having the c-section). If you are interested in placenta encapsulation or even just placenta smoothies, I highly reccommend you make plans to bring it home IN ADVANCE. They sent mine down to pathology before I had a chance to say boo about it. I was pretty upset about that. Eating placenta with this baby really did alot to curb the PPD that I had with both my previous pregnancies.

Hang in there. It sucks that this has to happen, but it is life saving technology when it's used properly.

[CorasMama]

I am not exactly in your position, but after one natural birth, and planning this one to be an out-of-hospital CPM-attended birth, we're now looking at a scheduled c-section. I've been thinking I'm in need of some counseling first, because I'm really scared of it, but there is nothing to be done, this c/s is absolutely necessary.

So no advice, though you've gotten some good advice in this thread, but

[Xiaohua]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

I am not exactly in your position, but after one natural birth, and planning this one to be an out-of-hospital CPM-attended birth, we're now looking at a scheduled c-section. I've been thinking I'm in need of some counseling first, because I'm really scared of it, but there is nothing to be done, this c/s is absolutely necessary.

So no advice, though you've gotten some good advice in this thread, but

Corasmama, we're in the same DDC and I have been following your story since you found out about the omphalocele. Big hugs to you too - I am sure you need just as many as I do! I know what you mean about needing counseling, but who gets counselling just because they need a c-section? (I am not being argumentative, just sarcastic!)? I mean, people have c-sections every day, tons of them, so how would a counselor understand what a devastating loss that would be to some women?

I am very sorry for the loss of your dream birth too. If you find any coping or acceptance strategies, please do share.

In the mean time, best of luck to you with your little girl; I can only imagine how stressed and scared you must be awaiting her birth. On a side note, I live in China and work with abandoned babies; we have had several with giant omphalocele who did well with surgical treatment. I saw the "paint & wait" post on on of your threads and found it very interesting; will file that away in case we get any more like that.


Serena

[Cuddlebaby]

You don't say what your situation is but is there any way you can go into labor *then* get the C-section?

and hugs...

[MrsPil]

Serena, I know how much you're struggling with right now, and first wanted to offer hugs. Secondly, I would start prepping for a section just like I would prep for a UC - learn as much as you can about different variations of normal and how to deal with them, visualize the birth and imagine it in as much detail as possible, read positive c-section stories (like Tara/Earthenware's or J'Wa's on DSD). Anything to help wrap your brain around what's going on and how positive it can be. I believe that this birth can be *just* as empowering for you as your UCs! You can do this mama!

Oh and before I forget, there are (obviously) differences in recovering from a section vs recovering from a vaginal birth - there are some good tips here

[CorasMama]

Originally Posted by Xiaohua

Corasmama, we're in the same DDC and I have been following your story since you found out about the omphalocele. Big hugs to you too - I am sure you need just as many as I do! I know what you mean about needing counseling, but who gets counselling just because they need a c-section? (I am not being argumentative, just sarcastic!)? I mean, people have c-sections every day, tons of them, so how would a counselor understand what a devastating loss that would be to some women?

I am very sorry for the loss of your dream birth too. If you find any coping or acceptance strategies, please do share.

In the mean time, best of luck to you with your little girl; I can only imagine how stressed and scared you must be awaiting her birth. On a side note, I live in China and work with abandoned babies; we have had several with giant omphalocele who did well with surgical treatment. I saw the "paint & wait" post on on of your threads and found it very interesting; will file that away in case we get any more like that.


Serena

Paint and Wait has increased the survival rate for Giant Omphaloceles to 90%, and nearly all who have an isolated giant omphalocele (in other words, it's the only problem) survive. If you can get someone to teach it to your docs, it's really amazing. Another thing that has dramatically increased survival is, of course, prenatal diagnosis, so that the babies can be born via c/s. If the liver is out in the omphalocele, it can be easily damaged during a vaginal birth. And vaginal birth also increases the chance of a ruptured sac. You probably don't see all the babies whose sacs rupture during birth, because their survival rate isn't so great right after birth.

[Xiaohua]

Originally Posted by MrsPil

Serena, I know how much you're struggling with right now, and first wanted to offer hugs. Secondly, I would start prepping for a section just like I would prep for a UC - learn as much as you can about different variations of normal and how to deal with them, visualize the birth and imagine it in as much detail as possible, read positive c-section stories (like Tara/Earthenware's or J'Wa's on DSD). Anything to help wrap your brain around what's going on and how positive it can be. I believe that this birth can be *just* as empowering for you as your UCs! You can do this mama!

Oh and before I forget, there are (obviously) differences in recovering from a section vs recovering from a vaginal birth - there are some good tips here

Thanks so much for the support. The link you posted is very helpful. I need to read more stuff like that. Problem is, when I start reading about c-sections, variations on how they go, and best advice for recovery (and there is SO much out there, LOL) I just get so depressed. When I am depressed I start thinking "who cares, it's all c-section and horrible recovery (compared to natural birth) and there's nothing I can do about it". I know that's not true, but depression really messes with your mind!

I'd love to read some positive c-section stories, especially Tara's and J'Wa's on DSD. If you have links can you send them to me? The search feature on there never works for me.

[Jane]

I don't know why this popped to mind, but perhaps you can lower your expecations to ones that will be easily attained in a typical c-section? I have not been in your situation, but I had to adjust my expecations in a different situation. I wanted a healthy child, but if not that, any child. A homebirth, but if not that, a vaginal birth, if not that an uncomplicated c-section, if not that, at least my child is unhurt, if not that, at least I'm okay, if not that, at least I lived. If my baby has to die, I'd rather an early miscarriage than a stillbirth. And if I miscarry, I'd like to do it at home.
But I had an ectopic - so I had to kill my baby. And be sick. All I was left with: At least it's 2009 and this is survivable and I'm alive. It's not the thing that I expected to be on my list of things I had to be grateful for - at least I'm alive.
That may be all that's on your list - at least I'm alive. I would have thought that I'd be grateful to be alive, but it left me Eeyore-like and mumbly, "I guess I'm happy that I'm alive."
I have only taken care of one woman who went into labor with a complete previa - no ultrasounds, no bleeding, nothing til past her due date when labor arrived. The amount of blood is, uh, life changing to witness. That mama and her baby survived, but were very much weakened, even after blood tranfusions. You are in a better situation than she, because you have knowledge. Perhaps your gratefulness will be "I am alive because it's 2010 and I have pre-knowledge."

[Kailey's mom]

Have not BTDT, my one and only child was delivered via a medically necessary ceserean. I just wanted to let you know that it can still be beautiful, mine was. I know it's not ideal, and i'm sorry that there are complications going on with the pregnancy. We have pictures of the actual birth, which was important to me. The staff at the hospital were amazing, breastfeeding was encouraged, the anestesiologist took the pictures from behind the blue curtain. I got to hold my baby right away, before any weighing or measuring took place (while they were still doing whatever they do after the baby is out) It's not ideal, but it will be okay. I wish you the best, take care of yourself, and since I'm ddc crashing *sorry about that* I want to say congrats

eta: not ddc crashing, UC forum crashing lol.. I just clicked new posts. I wanted to add that the recovery was nothing, although I don't have anything to compare to. The first day I was stuck to the bed, only because of my bloodpressure. After that, I was fine. I didn't feel like walking around the neighborhood or anything, but I was able to take care of the baby, take showers, walk around the house, within a week I was out shopping for more cute outfits for the baby =D

[zoebird]

i think getting therapy would be a great idea actually.

[MrsPil]

Originally Posted by Xiaohua

Thanks so much for the support. The link you posted is very helpful. I need to read more stuff like that. Problem is, when I start reading about c-sections, variations on how they go, and best advice for recovery (and there is SO much out there, LOL) I just get so depressed. When I am depressed I start thinking "who cares, it's all c-section and horrible recovery (compared to natural birth) and there's nothing I can do about it". I know that's not true, but depression really messes with your mind!

I'd love to read some positive c-section stories, especially Tara's and J'Wa's on DSD. If you have links can you send them to me? The search feature on there never works for me.

I PM'd Jessica the other night, but I haven't heard back from her yet. I'll PM you as soon as I do

[MeepyCat]

Originally Posted by Xiaohua

I know what you mean about needing counseling, but who gets counselling just because they need a c-section? (I am not being argumentative, just sarcastic!)? I mean, people have c-sections every day, tons of them, so how would a counselor understand what a devastating loss that would be to some women?

I wasn't quite in your situation - I wanted a natural home birth, then decided I was more comfortable in hospital, and then was diagnosed with previa at 18 weeks. But *I* got counseling because I thought I might need a c-section. The notion of surgical birth scared me a lot, and I had been really, *really* attached to having a natural birth this time around. My midwifery group was able to refer me to a counselor who understood what I was going through.

Tons of people do lots of things every day. Not everyone will respond the same way to the experience, in part because not all of them will experience the same event in the same way. There are a lot of bad counselors in the world who won't get it, but there are also good counselors who do.

Edited to say: You ask what helped, does it just take time...

The night that I wound up on the operating table, I was relieved to finally be there. The process of dealing with placenta previa is devastating. You don't just give up your ideal birth, you give up your normal life until the end of the pregnancy. For me, the c-section was a turning point, the moment in this terrifying trip through hostile territory when I could finally turn around and see my way home.