Help me with my mischievous 3 year olds :>)

[at-home]

I use the word "mischievous" because I can't think of a better word right now. My 3 year old twins are doing some things lately that I don't know quite what to do about. Example: Instead of coming to me when I ask them to (for instance, if it's time to leave or time to get dressed) they run away and "hide" under the closest table or behind a couch and I wind up having to chase them round and round or crawl under the table and drag them out. (SO undignified!) Also, they keep unhooking the seatbelts that hold their carseats in place (while we are driving). I try to explain why they must keep their carseats intact, but I really don't think they understand why. But they DO know that I want them to leave the seatbelts alone. Another thing is that we have part of our family room partitioned off with a gate because my teenaged sons and I have our desks/computers in one area. My 3 year olds have figured out how to open the gate and keep going into the "off limits" area and getting into things that they shouldn't. Over and over again. I know they are young and playful - I do try to provide ample toys & activities and I don't tell them what to do all day long - but there are times when I do need them to do what I ask and they seem to be in the mode lately to test me on this. It is exasperating (and the carseat thing is dangerous.) How can I help them to be cooperative?

[peaceful_mama]

I stop the car when I can't drive safely. This includes arguing loudly with siblings and would DEFINENTLY include unbuckling your carseat.
I would consider that the natural consequence--if you unbuckle your seat, we can't drive.

If it happened again, I'd go home. I know my dd would only have to miss a fun outing ONCE and she would know I'm *SERIOUS* about this and she'd stop.

The other thing I do with my kids is when we go downtown, when I pull in to park, I say "What's the rules of walking downtown?" and they say "We hold hands!" I say "or?" They say "We go home!" I have yet to have a problem. (and I have never actually needed to take anyone home, though I would do it because it's a safety issue.) So maybe before you pull out of the driveway, recite the "rules of a safe car ride" "We leave seatbelts buckled or we go home."

I also make games out of walking like making a train to avoid somebody having to walk on the ice on the edge of the sidewalk....I don't know what would be a good car game, but somebody ought to have an idea.

Mine like kid CD's and typically don't get into trouble while I'm driving because they're busy singing. Conversations help too.

[dziwozony]

I *FEEL* you on the frustration when they run away to hide when you ask them to come/get dressed/leave the house! My near 3yo does this all.the.time. at the moment. I try my hardest not to make it a game, because really he just loves being chased so anything that turns into a chasing game is super fun for him. But sometimes, like when we're in public, it can really rile me up!

so yeah...suggestions from other experienced mums??? :-)

[nextcommercial]

I ♥ the mischevious kids! They have always been my favorite. Maybe because I was always such a rule follower.

Do they laugh at you when you chase them????? Cuz, that would be even better.

Anyway... I would also stop the car if they are messing with the carseats. One time you can say why you stopped. But, after that, put on your ipod, pull out a magazine and wait til they figure it out on their own.

YES, a three year old is plenty old enough to understand why we don't take our carseats apart. The car stops as soon as you hear the click of a carseat.

But, obviously, you have to have a safe place to pull over. One time I had a three year old unhook his carseat from the car. He was messing with the seatbelt, and accidentally unhooked it. (I had a brief moment of panic) but we were on the freeway, so I pulled my thoughts together, waited till the next offramp, and then I needed a safe place to pull into. The chances of causing a wreck by pulling into traffic were a lot greater than driving a few miles and pulling off safely. So, he rode on the freeway for three minutes until I could get out of traffic. He felt really bad.. and I think he thought he was in mortal danger the whole two miles.

[BigC]

There was a good thread about playful parenting recently that could help with getting the kids dressed and out the door. With my 4 yo we search around his room for his clothes.

As far as the computer area goes, I am amazed that a gate has worked for 3 years. By 2 my oldest son could either open, knock down, or climb over any gate I put in his way. I've concluded that gates are often a way to delay teaching/parenting.

We solved his computer fascination by getting him his own computer and redirecting him to it when he wanted to play with my computer. The boys just want to be like everyone else in the family. Also, if the big kids don't have notebook computers, you might get them some. Notebooks use batteries so they don't shut down when they are unplugged.

[mom2grrls]

First off all of that is "normal" 3 y/o behavior, as annoying as it may be
If you know in advance that you have to leave at a certain time, start the process earlier so you can play the "chase" game and still have time to get ready. Perhaps have them "chase" down their clothes, shoes, etc. Can you perhaps wrap something around the seatbelt buckle so they cannot undo the belt easily? As for the computers can you put them in some sort of desk that has doors on the front? That's what our computer desk has and then when my kids were small I had a lock on it that they couldn't undo.

[nina_yyc]

My DD used to really test me on getting ready. Now I make it her responsibility to get herself dressed. If we don't have anywhere to be she can get dressed anytime she likes. If we have somewhere to be early, we pick out clothes together the night before and she gets dressed before breakfast. For getting out the door I tell her it's time to leave and then get ready myself, then wait quietly in the hall with my hand on the door. She tested this once when I first started it. She didn't get ready, we didn't go to the park. Now she is a snap to get out the door. She does wait until the absolute last minute to get her coat and boots on but I'm fine with that since she is really fast now.