Neither of my children was potty trained before 3. My first daughter was around 3.5 and the second was almost 4 before she'd use the potty consistently. She could go in the potty, but she often didn't want to. She liked going outside, but she'd just do what she wanted to do. If I didn't put a diaper/Pull-up on her, she'd pee on the floor at times. Sometimes she'd deliberately pee on the floor, if she was angry with me. There was a girl in her swim class who was a month younger who was potty trained, yet there was a period of several months where this girl would poop in her swim diaper every single lesson, and she had accidents at school at times too. I didn't send mine to preschool at that point, partly because she was not potty trained, but when she was in swim lessons or gym or whatever, she knew what to do. I was very angry and frustrated with her a lot of the time, especially the deliberate peeing when she was angry.
The only thing that worked for us, and I don't think it would work for everyone, it just happened that this is her personality, was just to stop reacting to her potty accidents. It was like a night and day flip, too. She peed on the floor, came to me tearfully and told me that I was going to be angry. I said, "I'm not mad, just show me where it is so I can clean it up." She smiled and said, "You're really not mad?" Then she happily told her sister that she peed on the floor, but I wasn't mad. It was the last time she ever did it. I had tried not reacting before, but it hadn't worked, this time I just decided I would give up caring about it and replace the carpet down the road, and then she was trained. It's been like that with her on a lot of issues, but I still find it rather maddening.
I will get over it soon, and maybe for a few days, I will just avert my gaze and leave all matters potty up to his dad until I can get my good mama mojo flowing again.
Him not being PLed at this age affects nothing so dont sweat the small stuff because you have enough to worry about it.
