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Hi. I'm disorganized.

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
So I'm new to this whole being pregnant thing, and if I'm totally honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. I *think* I'm around 7 or 8 weeks, but because I didn't note down the date of my LMP (because I'm, uh, disorganized), I actually don't have a precise date. I am assuming that *they* (medical types) will be able to give me a clearer indication at some point? Fingers crossed.

Physically, I feel pretty good so far. A bit of cramping, tiredness and raging hormonal anger (my husband is probably filing divorce papers as I type, lol), but no morning sickness...yet. Psychologically, I'm a bit intimidated by all of this and so am avoiding thinking about it for the most part. While avoidance isn't necessarily the best approach, I consider it safer at this point than the alternative, which is to manically and obsessively research every detail 24/7 for the next 7 months, which will likely drive me and everyone around me completely nuts.

I have my first appointment this afternoon with an OB. I actually only called yesterday, and I guess she had a cancellation, so here I go. I'm hoping she's nice. What if I don't like her? Will I have to tell her I don't want to see her anymore? Breaking up is hard to do. Also, I'm wondering if maybe I should've gone with a midwife instead of an OB. Any thoughts? I wonder if I can have both? Greedy, I know. I have a long list of questions. Also, I feel like simultaneously crying and screaming. I wish men could have babies. My husband would be way better at this than me. Also, I'm STARVING and it's only 11:12 am and therefore not lunch time at all. If I can just make it through this afternoon, maybe everything will miraculously start to make sense and I will become perfectly zen-like and maternal and begin knitting little booties and hats or something.
post #2 of 8
Some men can have babies. I'm working on one right now...

Congratulations!

Breaking up isn't that hard to do, you just don't book another appointment.

It's important to find someone you like, that you click with.

For dating, they can do an u/s to see where you're at. THat's more accurate than LMP, by far. It's accurate to within two days.


And, EAT! I eat all the time. If you're hungry, eat. I found that I am not actually eating more, just more often and a wider variety of foods. I ate a variety before, but now it's like I want a bite of seven or eight different meals every day. I've actually lost weight, which isn't desirable, though I think it's because I really can't stand junk food, except take out burgers, at all. Like ice cream, candies, sweets, do not appeal to me at all.
post #3 of 8
At this early stage, if they do a u/s, they can generally get a pretty good estimation of the age of the bean.

Otherwise... we love a good surprise, eh?
post #4 of 8
Hi, congratulations! As another Pittsburgher, I thought I should chime in and say hi. Hopefully your appointment went well today. Your doctor should be able to look at the ultrasound and tell you how far along the fetus is measuring and give you an approximate due date. As for doctor vs. midwife vs. whatever, I'll tell you that with my first pregnancy, I had an OB and delivered at McGee, but I also had an experienced doula there with me, and she was great and I think really helped make my hospital delivery a good one. I did an unmedicated birth, and other than being really looooooong and utterly exhausting, it went about as well as one could hope.

I will also tell you that I felt kind of terrified and overwhelmed the first time, and absolutely the number one thing that helped me was reading a few good books on the subject of labor/childbirth. My favorite was Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. It was full of so many great birth stories and other good information that it made the process seem more familiar and less scary, and I knew a little more what to expect, and felt empowered about the whole thing. After that, I liked Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: Revised Edition
and HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing--I didn't necessarily subscribe to either of these methods, but I did really like the tone of the books, and the labor information they had to share, and I liked reading about different techniques to see what, if any, appealed to me. Finally, for a more practical/scientific info, if you lean that way, I'd check out The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. It has a lot of good information about the risks and benefits of different birthing choices and interventions, and will provide you with good questions to ask your OB to make sure you're on the same page. Maybe this seems like a lot of books, but I think it's a good middle path between avoidance and obsessive research--plus, they're generally fun/interesting reads, and go quickly. If you're just inclined to read one, though, Ina May's was my favorite.

Oh, and as for hunger, I just make sure to keep a steady stream of healthy snacks available, and eat them as necessary to sate hunger. Saltines (for nausea), fruit, yogurt, granola bars, oatmeal, Amy's brand microwave burritos, etc. are the things I keep around. I tried not to eat junk--don't listen to the people who tell you that "you're pregnant! this is when you have a free pass to pig out and eat all the brownies and cupcakes you can!"--that's just a recipe for unhealthy weight gain, and it doesn't provide you and your baby with the good nutrients you need now more than ever. As long as you're eating healthfully, you can pretty much let your body tell you how much fuel it needs, and you'll do fine.
post #5 of 8
Welcome! I just have to say that for a first MDC post ever, that was a prize winner. You made me laugh (in a compassionate way) and want to put an arm around you. You're going to be okay. Things are going to settle down and before you know it you and your husband will be coasting through like pregnancy experts. Let us know how your appointment went.

I also suggest Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I had a wonderful birth with DS (despite 40 hours of labour, I loved every moment of it, I swear!) and had nothing but excitement going into it. I fully credit the birth stories at the beginning of that book. If you don't read anything else, read the first half of that book. It will also help you to choose your care provider.

Hopefully you will be totally compatible with the doctor you saw today or maybe you will want to meet some midwives. It's your choice and they will all understand. I dumped my GP who I'd previously adored because we didn't click once I got pregnant. I switched to midwives and never regretted it. My doctor wasn't insulted and was happy to take me back afterwards. Remember that they've heard it all before and most doctors don't have time to bother arguing. So don't feel intimidated to go after the right fit for you.

Keep us posted!
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for the welcome and support

FtMPapa: I am happy to hear that the revolution has begun with regards to men and babies. I'm a firm believer in choosing the right person for the job, you know? .

Hyz: Hey! I'm going to Magee, too. If you don't mind my asking: how did you find your doula? Was it through your OB, or as a result of independent research? Was your OB happy to 'work with' your doula? Feel free to PM me, if you prefer. I am very curious about this.

Oh, and all the book recommendations are great. I will check them out, for sure. I too rarely subscribe to one particular approach or philosophy, instead choosing to cross-reference across multiple sources and come up with my own brand of crazy. Regarding my thoughts on the birth itself, I am currently occupying the expansive void in between earth mother type (barefoot, flowers in my hair and birthing on a full moon in a magical wood with unicorns in attendance); and wanting to go to the hospital and eat ALL the drugs so that I sleep through the whole thing. (Actually, now that I think about it, the first one kind of sounds like a result of the second, doesn't it? Hm. Let me ponder that one for a while).

Regarding hunger: I'm not finding that I'm eating that much more rather, more frequently. I'm not a huge consumer of junk food (except for chips, which are my weakness), so I am not anticipating a HUGE weight gain. But as blizzard_babe already stated.... we love a good surprise, eh?

JessieBird: 40 HOURS OF LABOUR!? *faint*

So, my OB appointment went well yesterday. The usual stuff, I am assuming: paperwork, blood pressure, pee in a cup, pap smear, internal exam etc. The OB felt my uterus (haha, can't say that without laughing yet. Someone FELT my uterus! It's so bizarre) and said I felt a little smaller than 8 weeks - more like 6, which is definitely possible. I myself suspect that 8 weeks is a bit too far along, but I guess I was trying to over-estimate (rather than under-estimate) the date of my LMP. I have a u/s scheduled for next week, to determine gestational age.

Regarding the OB herself, she's great. Very competent and efficient, but not in a cold way. I like this. I don't necessarily need my OB to be overly touchy feely - I can get that from friends, family, perhaps a doula if I decide to go that route. She seems proficient, but approachable: she took the time to sit down with me and give me the opportunity to ask any questions that I had, and reassured me that there would always be someone from the practice on-call in the event of an emergency, and that I shouldn't feel 'alone'. The practice is qutie small - just 4 OB's and 1 midwife - and although I'll be working ('working', lol) primarily with her, she wants me to at least meet the other 3 OB's, in the event that when I give birth, it is one of them (and not her) on call. Which I think is pretty cool. I mean, call me old-fashioned, but I would prefer to meet the person who is going to put their hands all over my vagina before we get to that point, you know?

Anyway, I am sure I will continue to keep you all posted from time to time! It's nice to have somewhere to write about this stuff without feeling like a complete lunatic. Have a fabulous weekend!
post #7 of 8
Feeling unsure? Disorganized? Don't know where to start?

WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD!!!!

No seriously, get used to it.

I recommend a MW for sure. Only because they stay with you during labor, which is a huge deal especially with your first. If you go with an OB he'll show up in the last 5 minutes and the only company besides your DH (who will be in the corner crapping his pants if he's anything like mine!) are various nurses who cycle in and out. Labor can be scary the first time and it's good to have constant support from a woman who's been there many times before. So if you do choose an OB, I highly recommend hiring a doula.

Anyway, enjoy the ride! (Just remember to keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.)
post #8 of 8
Miso soup, my OB was recommended to me by an acquaintance, and my OB gave me the information for the doula. The OB actually just had a little packet put together with different resources the moms may be interested in, and the doula was in there, as was the Hypnobirthing stuff--but I take it as a good sign about the doctor when the doctor recommends a doula! My OB and doula had worked side by side before, and while I wouldn't say they were real chummy or best buds or anything, they coexisted respectfully. So I'd say that's the place to start, if you like your OB--ask if there are any doula services she recommends. There seem to be two main ones in Pittsburgh--Heart&Hands, and the other one, I can't remember what it's called (obviously, mine was from Heart&Hands, lol). Also, if you want to do an unmedicated birth (I did--the thought of a needle in my spine alone was enough to make me want to forego an epidural--shudder--but the more I read about birth, the better I felt about the decision to go natural), be sure to ask your OB how she feels about that. My OB is honestly not the best communicator, and all she would tell me was that she'd work with me to give me the birth I wanted (which sounds good, but wasn't reassuring when she wouldn't answer any of my other questions about how many of her patients generally have natural births, and quick she is to go to interventions and such, and she just keeps repeating that one line). Honestly, I was nervous about whether she and I were on the same page going in, but she was as good as her word, and did essentially give me the natural birth I wanted, but with all of the safety features of being in a good hospital "just in case". And as it turned out, I was fine, but my daughter had a lot of fluid in her lungs when she was born and needed immediate suction and oxygen and stuff in order to stabilize her breathing (with equipment a home midwife or birthing center wouldn't have), so I thank heaven all the time that we WERE in the hospital.

Regarding who's with you during labor... I labored at home with my husband for about 8 hours of ok, not too bad contractions, then my doula came (she would've come sooner but was actually attending another birth which had come unexpectedly weeks early), and stayed with us for the next 12.5 hours or so until the baby was born. She was at my house part of the time, then went to the hospital with us, where various nurses were also around from time to time to help out. My doctor was actually at the birth for the last 4 hours, which were ALL pushing (oh my god, soooo much pushing). Definitely not 5 minutes!
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