How do I get DH "on board"

[BabyBodi]

HI mamas!

My DH and I are having conflicting parenting styles. Ds is 22 months old. Of course this means he is starting to do things we would rather him not do (slapping momma, running across the couch, throwing things). DH's instinct is to yell at him (he gets loud too). If DS continues, he grabs his arm and set's him on the ground and yells again. I hate this. I want to use a more gentle technique. DH feels this doesn't work, but his style doesn't work either and I feel like this is teaching our son to yell and be aggressive. DS has picked up on "No!" and uses it frequently when we are going about our day.

My question is, How do you get your partner to want to use gentle discipline when it doesn't come naturally to them? I want him to read about the effects this could have on our son. He doesn't really like to read books, so does anyone know of any articles he could read?

My fear is that this type of behavior from my DH could turn into spanking in the future.

Thanks in advance!

[mom2grrls]

I don't have a specific article in mind but perhaps he could read any website article about the development of 2 y/os and the normal behavior that comes with it, perhaps that would help him realize it's "normal" and isn't going to go away b/c he yells. Have you talked to him about the methods you would like to use instead?

[treehugz]

Our DD is only 24months. My dh really likes the cartoon examples in How to Listen So Kids Will Talk and Talk So Kids Will Listen. He definitely leans toward an authoritative/punitive approach just because that's the method both of us were raised with and the only method that anybody we see/know uses. Seeing the cartoon example of how poorly (and cruel) that approach works and then showing how some gentle alternatives work is super helpful for us. I think a big part of why dh and I have a hard time with figuring out discipline is because we know we don't want to spank/etc and know we want to do gentle discipline, but we just haven't seen other ways to handle situations. The book gives us OPTIONS that we've never seen before and the cartoons give us great, simple, humorous references of how to use the options. And the summary page checklists are also really good to copy and post so you have some quick alternatives... great for me and for hubby.