Terrified

[Triceratops]

Hey mamas,
I'm just writing because the more I think about it- the more I worry myself. I am terrified of having this baby. Not worried about how I will provide for him/her but giving birth, specifically.

I am so, so scared of another C-section. I don't want another one. The more c-sections you have, the more risk you put yourself in the next time you get pregnant. Both of my previous c/s were awful, horrible experiences, and I don't want to go through surgery/recovery again... I'm so scared.

I want to do vbac, but I'm scared of the "what if" what if something goes wrong? What if I have a u/r or bleed out? What if the baby won't fit.... On and on- you know how it goes.

I am just looking for encouragement and support... I'm scared and my bf has no idea of how to sympathize. I feel so alone.

[ILovePie]

Well, I haven't had a c/s - just one very complicated and scary vaginal birth that turned out just fine...but I am still a scared mess!

I've been looking ahead (too far ahead, I think, but I really just can't help it!), talking through things with my doula as I think through some variables and what I'd like to do differently this time.

My problem is that the pregnancy itself is going to be full of variables. I actually hope that things go pretty much the same as last time - it is one of the best case scenarios - and that involves magnesium and pitocin!

I guess I'm not a lot of help to you except to say, as someone who has had complications and interventions and a whollllle lot of fear during a vaginal birth, it was still the most amazing thing I have ever done - and we plan to do it again in 7 months or so! I would suggest that you find a doula or a friend or someone who you can talk through all this with now, and who can be there to talk you out of negativity (but in a POSITIVE way - I know of one doula in town nobody wants to hire because she says things like, "all I'm hearing is negativity," almost like "snap out of it you crazy freak!") during labor.

:s:: You can do this!

I'm meeting with a hypnobirthing instructor in just a few minutes, actually - I can let you know if I think it will be helpful for keeping me calm in labor!

[Melly24]

mama

I've had one horribly traumatic c-section and I know I don't want to go there ever again. What's helped me get over the fear is some research into the odds/stats of uterine rupture and the acknowledgement that I am more terrified of a hospital birth or c-section than I am of a VBAC. So much so that I am staying home to birth this one. I also acknowledge that birth cannot be completely prepared for and if something requires me to transfer than I will.

There is a 0.2% chance of uterine rupture in a labour with no previous c-section, and it goes up to 0.4% chance with a scarred uterus. Barely a difference between the two

There is two main types of uterine rupture. One type is a complete rupture where the baby is realeased from the uterus into the abdominal cavity. This is bad but VERY rare and happens to both scarred and un-scarred uteri almost equally. VERY very rare. The other type in uterine dehisience (sp?) where parts of the uterus start to come apart, mainly along a c-section scar. This occurs more likely to VBAC mama's but is also pretty rare. There are signs and symptoms that this is happening (excessive bleeding, pain between contractions, mother has a certain feeling). If this happens in most cases there is plenty of time to get to hospital and have a emergency c-section. I cant remember how long you have exactly.

I suggest joining ICAN for info and support - International Caesarean Awareness Network
Also the Joyous Birth forums are really informative too - Joyous Birth

I also second talking with a doula or a midwife and going over some fears with them and they can help work through your previous birth experiences. A couple of good books that come to mind are, Birthing from Within and VBAC Companion.

[Triceratops]

I'm almost certian that by the time i am about ready to deliver- I will have gotten a midwife. I'm planning to do all I can to avoid a hospital delivery- because I am just too afraid of another c/s. If anything I'll deliver at home and then call an ambulance to take us in and get us checked out- just to be on the safe side.

Thanks for the encouragement, ladies

[ILovePie]

I think even if you have a midwife and a homebirth, a doula would benefit you a great deal. Or at least a midwife's assistant who you know and trust. The midwife will be focused on delivering your baby - it helps to have someone who is specifically and consistently there for you AND your husband (our doula was amazing for DH, not just for me) for emotional support and reminders about comfort measures.

I'm sure, too, that having a midwife you trust and talking about your feelings with her will help you feel more comfortable!