I've done my part, right?

[Halfasianmomma]

Ok, as I type, my lawyer is supposedly drafting my divorce and custody proceedings. We don't have anything legal in place yet, just the de facto situation that's been in place for the past 5 months, i.e. DD lives with me and see her father twice a week.

I've been keeping a journal of all the "events" of my separation from STBX (such as threats made, constant calls or emails, or visitation that didn't happen for x,y,z).

For the past 4 weeks, STBX has cancelled or missed out on his weekday visitation with DD (he sees her Wednesday evenings from 5:00 to 6:30 p.m. and Sundays from 12:30 to 4:00 p.m.). DD is 19 months btw.

The first time, he said he couldn't because of his new job.

The second time, he said he wouldn't because I didn't text him to ask him about it.

The third time, he said it was because there was a snow storm.

Now THIS week, I've texted him twice to ask him (in the interests of covering my butt), and both times he hasn't responded.

Now, it's Wednesday, and it's 2:48 p.m, which means he should be picking DD up from daycare in about 2.5 hrs. Since I haven't heard from him, I texted to tell him that the visitation is off, considering his lack of response.

Have I done my part in "faciliating" his visitation?

[MsChatsAlot]

If he wants to see and spend time with his dd, he will. If he doesn't, there's nothing you can do or should be expected to do other than make sure he knows how to contact you to make arrangements.

[JunipersMom]

Depends on your state -- in Michigan I have to have the children ready to go until he is 20 minutes late.. then he is considered absent and I'm free to not wait on him anymore. Check with your attorney to be sure - but I'd plan on picking up babe and waiting there for a bit to make sure he doesnt come a few minutes late -- and maybe even have the daycare person acknoweldge you waited etc.. as it may look good for you

[Halfasianmomma]

well, not located in the states but in Canada. I really don't know what the difference is legally...

Technically, he's within his rights to pick DD up from daycare anyday he likes; it's just extremely rude and selfish to pick her up without warning me. When he does see her weekdays, I need to plan to borrow my mother's car so I can drive DD back home at 6:30 p.m.

Tonight, I'd be leaving work at 4:45 to pick DD up at 5:00. If STBX did pick her up, he'd be there for 4:30...so by the time I get to the daycare, if he hasn't shown up, he's not going to.

This is getting a bit frustrating however, because I feel as though I need to wait around for him and faciliate all the time. His week-ends visits consist of me driving DD to his house, playing with her in front of his place so the transition is smoother, and then picking her up 3.5 hrs later and driving her home. Since our separation, he has only travelled to see her once (he doesn't have a car and lives 50 minutes away by transit).